Should i get a divorce despite the fact that I'm on the 7th month of my pregnancy of our first child?

Question

We got married when I was on my fifth month of pregnancy. The biggest motivating factor of our marriage was my pregnancy. We have not been getting along well for the short time that we are married. Our last argument had ended with a minor physical violence and me throwing him out of the house. I am afraid that my child will grow up without a father and blame me for initiating the separation between her father and I.

Answer 1

XXXXXXXXXXX I would rather my child growing up witout his father than to grow up being abused by him or seeing me get abused as well. There are millions of great guys in this world who judge a woamn by her character and it doesn't matter if she has a kid or not. My daughter was 7 years old when I met my now husband. Even though she loves her biological father dearly she knows who are dad is. He had loved her from day one as if she were his own. I wish you all the best and please go with your heart. You have not only yourself to take care of now. You husband isn't worth you nor your unborn child. There is someone else out there who is but take it slow and take care of number one and number two first. Everything else will fall in place. Good luck hun. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Answer 2

I know a lot of people are screaming to get a divorce. But also think about it. I got married because I was pregnant. And we fought ALL THE TIME! Sometimes getting physical. But I stuck through it. And it's 100% different now. When I was pregnant I was extremely moody and upset. I am not saying that you are like this or that it is your fault, because it takes two. But at least consider that the hormones could be playing a part as well. Also seek out counseling. Don't rush and do something you will regret. You don't want to get a divorce and then when the baby comes wish he was there. It is not fair to anyone. If you do consider a divorce just make sure it is what you truly wish and that you can deal with the consequences. It's hard to go back to what was so make your decision carefully. Hope this helps :)

Answer 3

This is a big decision. Children do need both of their parents, but they also need 2 parents that are happy. Being pregnant is a stressful time for both you and your husband. Maybe you should give it some time or take some time alone. What was the minor physical violence? Has that ever happened before? How long were you together before you got married? He could be worried about being able to support you and a baby. He could be worried about his own ability to be a good father. He could have the same worries as you. Surely there was some good reason why you got together in the first place. Surely there is something you love about him. Maybe you both need to sit down and have a conversation, not an argument, about each of your expectations for the future and expectations of each other.

Answer 4

First, wait till your child is born before initating a divorce.
It could be the hormones and stress from the pregnancy and his lack of compromisation that is causing the two of you to bump heads more often then not.
Talk to your husband on ways to improve your marriage as well as make your house a happier home for the new addition!
After the birth of your child, if things do not get any better then I would suggest taking a break and if you feel happier and more at peace during the break then a divorce would be the right thing to do.
Now, when your child isin the teens I am pretty sure you wont always get along and the divorce might get thrown up in your face (depends though) but in the end, when your child is grown and mature, he/she will appreciate you for all of the things you've done, for the way you raised them and for being a strong motherly figure.

Answer 5

From what you have failed to mention, I suspect that neither you nor your husband have sought counselling… May I suggest therefore that you do so!!!

It may have taken a long time for your husband to do so, but in deciding to marry you, he made a commitment toward you and the baby… Respect him for making that commitment!!!

You mentioned that there was some minor physical violence in the relationship and that you kicked him out of the house…

Whilst I don’t encourage ‘violence’ in any relationship, do you think that there is a chance that your hormonal changes may have contributed toward the violence against you? I will try to explain what I mean by relating to some personal experiences that I faced when in an earlier relationship I married my pregnant partner…
Having her attack me with a knife, and throw knives at me… Having her grab the steering wheel of the car, and try to crash the car into a telegraph pole… Having her tell me to punch her in the stomach, and then attacking me because I put my fist through the door instead… There were other examples, but I think you get the general idea!

By the sounds of it, you have already determined that you are going to have a baby girl.
You mentioned that you are afraid that your daughter will grow up without a father, and that she will blame you for initiating the separation between you and her father.
Who would you blame… You, after all, were the one who kicked him out of the house?

May I suggest that you are thinking way too far into the future. Your baby hasn’t even been born yet, so perhaps you should be concentrating more on what sort of a life you are creating for your daughter!!! Perhaps you should be focusing more on ensuring that your baby is given everything she deserves… including the right to have a father who loves her!!!

Both you and your husband (you are still married to him) have a responsibility toward the welfare and happiness of your child. That responsibility commenced at the time of conception… and includes this very moment…
Are you about to jump on the phone to try to make a counselling appointment for both you and your husband?…
I think you should…. Part of your responsibility is to ensure that when your baby is born, she is given every opportunity available to her. The very least she deserves is to have her two parents loving and caring for her.
Until such time that both you and your husband have sought counselling, you are both neglecting your responsibility toward the welfare of your child!!!

Answer 6

End it, theres no point staying married just because you are pregnant, minor violence may one day turn to major violence and then you will have a child amongst it, whats worse a child growing up without a father around or a child growing up with an abusive violent parent around

Answer 7

No. No. No. dont do that. Not because your child , when it grows up without a father will blame you. But because the pregnancy is the result of love (physical or mental) between you and your husband.Maybe you over reacted and threw him out of the house. Relax. We all make mistakes. Make amends.Call him back. Wait for the baby to come. Wait another three months after the baby has come to see how he loves you, how he looks/cares after the baby.Than if he is still bad throw him out by all means.Divorce him.

Answer 8

Your child would be better off with no father than with an abusive family situation. I would seriously think about your child's well being right now. If it leads to divorce, then it'll just make you all the stronger. As for your child blaming you for the separation, it will not happen, your child will grow up loving both you and her father. Like I said, it'd be easier for the child to grow up having you two separated from the beginning than to have you two separate later on when she is older and more attached to the both of u being together...make sense?

Answer 9

Your child will only know the particulars that you tell him or her. I suggest you tell your child that daddy and I could not live together, but if he had gotten to know you I'm sure he would have loved you very much.
You are in a physically abusive relationship. There is nothing minor about that and the only change will be that the violence will escalate. Divorce this person that you married for the wrong reason in the first place.

Answer 10

Marriage because of pregnancy isn't a good idea. You need to find someone you truly love and want to spend the rest of your life with. Just do what you believe is right. You don't want your child growing up watching the fighting. If he got a little violent with you, then it will just get worse.