I'm often told that at first your all in love and there's this spark, but it doesn't last long and before you know it the spark has died. That scares me. I'm a young woman who wants to find a man she can love and have a family. I'm just afraid that after marrying the person...the spark will die.
2006-08-25 12:11:21 · 19 answers · asked by mountaingirl88 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
been married 27 years almost and i am MORE IN LOVE with my husband and it feels great!!!
2006-08-25 12:16:24 · answer #1 · answered by liltexas36 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You never actually "lose" that spark, your relationship changes and so it "feels" different. Like someone wrote previously, you have to work at a marriage, but it shouldn't be all work and no play; there has to be a balance of the two. If the two of you are great friends (as a couple) then you'll become greater friends once you're married if you don't lose sight of what it was that brought you two together in the first place.
By the way, 10 years this past June and going stronger than ever! Even after having two kids, busy careers, and busy lives.
2006-08-26 00:55:46 · answer #2 · answered by The Meksikan Couple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its true that you do loose some spark. i guess becus you both move in and start a family. and bills come and they are stressful so you think how to pay everything and still have money left for food and gas and have time to spend with the family. so a lot of times the spark wont be there becus of stress. but you shouldnt let that happen. you are in control of the relationship.
iv been married a little over a year and i love my husband now more then ever. and i know that later down the road ill love him more and more. yes we do go through ups and downs, just like every other couple. but we still love eachother.
you just have to keep your life fun. always do new things. keep it entertaining.
2006-08-25 19:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by All4Christ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
XXXXXXXX Last week was my husbands and I 13th Anniversary. We married on our third date. I never who have thought this was possible because of the way I felt about him but, we are more in love today than we were thirteen years ago. We act like teenagers around the house. Sometimes he calls my name and I absolutely float. Our 20 year old gets mad because we show so much affection around her. She yell at us to go somewhere else. Nothing x rated, she blushes even when she catch us kissing. I'm so lucky to have such a great husband and four great kids. They are all on the honor role and my eldest has never given us a moments trouble. She has a 2006 car, a great job and is very career minded. (Never asked us for a dime) We are lucky. Showing our love for eachother and telling the kids we love them all the time is a daily thing in our family. I am ...we are truely blessed. And my husband and I ....I can say without adoubt or the slightest hesitation, we are still in love after 13 years.XXXXXXXXXXX
2006-08-25 19:23:12 · answer #4 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will find that love deepens over time. Doesn't mean the spark is gone though. It just gets different than the butterflies in your stomach feeling you had when you first got together.
Please don't let that fact scare you off marriage - when two people truly care about each other, there is nothing better than that.
2006-08-25 19:46:10 · answer #5 · answered by ingy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm divorced, was married once for almost 21 years, maybe that'll qualify for me to answer, if not then please feel free to skip my answer...
She left me.. so here's my story...
I believe that everyone that I have ever loved, I still do. Some of them, well, can't stand to be with me
and
some of them I don't want to be with either. (really just 1)
That doesn't change the love.
Love and marriage are 2 different things.
Neither of which, as far as I see, have anything to do with whether we remain together. That's personality, tolerance, character, communication, understanding, etc...
either ONE can mess that up!
AND without the others consent or approval as well.
And just because they want to, can be the reason.
I don't know how to see that coming...
growing apart I suppose.
.
I'm believe that I'll take the risk of love and attempt "together" again.
no one has arrived lately tho...
"better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"
Shakespeare's St. Augustine I believe...
been wrong twice about 2 gf since my divorce. even that hurts no longer we were together (3-10 months)...
but, I'm going to take the risk of love and attempt it again.
what about you?
.
.
2006-08-25 20:00:32 · answer #6 · answered by DM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been married for ten years and our marriage started out really rocky and had been for a long time, but lately, in the last few years, we're starting to grow closer, and I can honestly say I'm more in love with him now than when I married him. We've definitely grown a lot. But it won't happen all by itself, it takes work, and it takes both of you wanting to work on it. But it doesn't have to happen it you don't let it, you know?
2006-08-25 19:30:04 · answer #7 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the only reason it dies is because one or both person either take the other for granted or they become stagnant.
You don't get married because of the "spark" ---you marry because you are ready for a committed relationship inside the bonds of matrimony....in which you want to raise a family; and support, honor, communicate, and love your spouse (and they reciprocate those same ideas, morals and shared goals).
Still married and in love with my hubby---- keys to happiness: communication, humor, date nights and don't forget to pamper each other(surprise them).... also do some couples workshop/marriage builder .
2006-08-25 19:20:06 · answer #8 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The spark only dies for people who stop working at it.
Marriage takes work. And I think a lot of people think that being in love is enough. It's not. You need to work at it.
2006-08-25 19:16:41 · answer #9 · answered by AnswerMom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many people are inlove after many years of marriage and many people are not. It just depends on the relationship. The most important thing in building a strong and lasting relationship is to start with a solid foundation of friendship and trust.
2006-08-25 19:21:55 · answer #10 · answered by princesssduhhh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... the first year is great, or so I've heard. Then having a baby can really bring you together. But i don't know... It depends on the people... but for me? I'd get hella bored... that's why i date, and don't marry or am in a long term relationship. When you get older in your 30s, i hear that women want to have a baby really bad.
2006-08-25 19:16:40 · answer #11 · answered by punkdrunkard 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋