Can sex be 'just sex'?

Question

I'm married - happily for the most part - but I want to know how many people are having sex outside of their relationships that is "just sex"? I don't want a divorce, and my husband will NEVER find out, but I have this urge that I can't squelch... Anyone else feel the same way?

Okay, let me clarify something: my husband's penis doesn't work right now - long story - and it may be another year before it does work. So, the sex that I'm having now is just temporary. My husband has enough on his plate about his manhood, etc., and I don't want to hurt him. But honestly, you can only go so long before you need it. I want to know if any of you have been in this situation? Your spouse/partner physically CAN'T have sex...

Answer 1

Sex can just be sex for a man becuase all they need is a touch to get off. But with women, it is a mental thing. Even if you try to have sex with someone else, you won't enjoy it like you would with your husband. Tell whoever the dude who is in your ear to leave you alone, the grass isn't greener where he is!

Answer 2

Sounds like you just need some spice in the bedroom. Don't have sex outside the relationship. It will hurt your husband because eventually he WILL find out. You will feel guilty afterwards(and should) If you don't want a divorce than don't do it. If you have an urge itch it yourself. Everyone gets a little bedroom bored especially if they have been married a long time. Just change up your routine. Do something different. Do it somewhere you don't normally do it. Have JUST SEX with your husband. Who says every time has to be all romantic. It could just be good old animal lustful sex. (just for needs sake)
Talk to your husband about your needs. Remember you can't take a mistake back even if you want to.

Answer 3

I don't think it can unless your in a relationship where you can be open and honest about it. At the point you have sex but you can't tell your spouse about it there is more than just sex involved. I hope your able to find a way with your spouse to squelch your urge. We all wonder what is on the other side of the fence but in order to find out we usually end up destroying everything we have.

Answer 4

Well, I think there is a difference between not being Happy and having an affair, and just looking for sex. I'm not happy and feel the end of may marriage coming closer everyday, but it's not a performance issue.

If there was a performance issue, and I was happy in every other way, I'd just get some fun toys to tide me over. Try that and see what happens. I could be very pleasing for you both.

Answer 5

I use to say, I could sex you and leave you, as I matured and grew older, I realized that one night stands were not worth the energy I put into them. Of course sex can be just sex. But is that really what you want. Sharing yourself with someone else should mean more to you than that. If you care enough to share the very best (which is what you are doing). Then why not share all of you. I understand your situation but there are other ways to spice up your sex life with your non-functioning hubby. Now is the time to really have fun, play, explore and learn other ways to satisfy that buring desire we as women have. Gurl find some toys and let your husband explore you in other ways.

Answer 6

If you are thinking this way, you are probably not in a good marriage. And, more than likely, the "just sex" will develop into one of you or both of you having feelings beyond that. Those feelings will make you re-evaluate your marriage, and that's just assuming that your husband doesn't find out. Then if he does- disaster either way. If you care about your husband consider what this might do to him. Even though I can relate to what you're saying, as I'm sure others do- even if they'd rather lecture about the sacred vows you took.

Answer 7

Sure, I have the urge. I never act on it though. I dont think sex can be just sex. If I were to break the oath that I made to my better half, Id be everything that I hate. It would make me a liar, a cheat and everything else that I loathe.

I travel for business to nearly every city in the US. My wife would never find out but I would know.

Answer 8

I don't feel it is okay to ever cheat because marriage is more than just sex. I have a very bad sexual relationship with my husband because he only lasts like a few minutes. We have been married over 10 years and i have never cheated on him. I do long for more sexually but sex isn't everything in a relation-ship. If you aren't happy than it is better to divorce than to cheat. Having sex outside of your marriage is never okay in my opinion. What if you was to bring home v.d. to him? Wouldn't that make it a really devastating thing. If you really love someone i don't think you could cheat so i think you are wrong in thinking it is alright to go share yourself with someone else.

Answer 9

i did a long time ago.with a few ladies. i helped a little older woman with her computer and she was very happy that i had done something she couldnt do.of course she was visionally impaired and wasnt a raving beauty.but i felt she needed a mans touch since she had mentioned earlier it had been many years since she had had any contact with any males and her outlook was vague for any type of sexual fun in the future.i felt impathy for her and as i was showing and telling her what her new system would do,i felt her hand on my privates and well you can fill in the rest.she really meant what she said about not getting any for sure.i was smiling all the way home.there were 2 other ladies but i think this one is the best.

Answer 10

If you are happily married you wouldn't be out having sex with others. You need to look at what is missing in your relationship that is causing you to want others.

I do think that there is such a thing as sex without emotion. I also think that sex over a period of time will cause you to develop feelings for the person.