women would you stay with a man who cheated once. after 8 years together and two kids?

Answer 1

It depends on whether or not you think you'll be able to forgive him and move on. If you stay, you must let out all of your anger now and honestly get over it. If you plan on holding his over his head for years to come, do both of you a favor and move on now.

If you think you can forgive him and are relatively sure that this is a one-time incident, stick it out. Everyone makes stupid mistakes.

And, most importantly, both of you must be tested for diseases - even if he says that he used protection. Someone needs to be around to take care of your children. You can not compromise on this issue.

Answer 2

The kids are irrelevant, they don't benefit at all from parents under the same roof that have a bad relationship.

The first thing to do in a situation like this is realize there is a pattern to the healing process, first there is a lot of anger, second there may be a period when you have sex with your partner a lot in order to 'stake your claim' or win your partner back, then the real affects of what has happened set in and thats when you know whether it is something you can deal with or not. I didn't realize this and made mistakes and big decisions while still going through this process and they turned out to be the wrong decisions. I feel that if I had known about this pattern I could have seen things more clearly.

As far as continuing the relationship or not you first need to determine whether or not getting over it is something you should do. I saw 7 things that can help you determine this:

Is it an isolated incident or a pattern of behavior? (including past relationships, even if its the first time he cheated on you has he cheated on other gf's)

Does he own it (take full blame) or does he make excuses for why it happened?

Does he REALLY grasp the damage he's done to you and your relationship or does he just pay it lip service?

Is he sorry for the choice he made or sorry that he got caught?

Is he willing to do what it takes to clean up the mess he made, whatever it takes and however long it takes? or does he want to deny it and move on?

Is it out of character for him or is he insenstive about other things too? (respects your feelings, treats you with dignity, etc)

Is it a legacy or a new behavior? did he grow up in a family where this happened? if its what he learned thats a big clue.

Once you've gone through these and IF you determine that the answers all favor a successful relationship then you take it one day a at a time, if its a history or a pattern you leave and realize that it is the idea of the relationship that you 'love' and not the reality, surely you don't define being loved as someone that devestates you emotionally and doesn't care that he did. you have a lot of thinking to do, but don't worry it WILL get better and you will be ok!

Answer 3

If you can 100% without a doubt say you will 100% without a doubt trust him again then you can stay. But if you are even in the 1 percentile of no trust then he has to go. If you don't have trust you don't have a relationship. If he doesn't come home when he says he will be home will you think he is with someone else? If he has lipstick on his shirt when he comes home and he says his aunt bertha kissed him on the street will you believe him? These are the questions you need to ask yourself before you stay with him. Yes the kids are a big factor but they should not be the reason to stay together.

Answer 4

I found out my husband cheated on me in April of this year and then he was talking to a woman June through July. I found pics and more #'s and I stayed with him. We have no children, been married for 3 years this Sep. I don't know if I did the right thing but I love him. It's up to you. Do you want to live your life not trusting him, looking through his things, Comparing yourself to another woman, asking yourself what she did that you didn't do? Is he going to do it again? is he worth all of this? Remember you can always change your mind.

Answer 5

you know what that is a really good question aside from the devistation of mistrust and hurt feelings, the circumstances mean nothing that led to the event, it happened and he was wrong, he got busted, but what are you willing to do can you forgive him in your heart, does he really love you ,probably but only you know that. is he showing remourse or trying to divert the problem to you? if he was intirely sincere about this mistake , yes i would forgive him but i would make an agreement with him that there is going to have to be some sort of counseling because i dont know about you but i would have it in my mind that he might do it again thus questioning him and constantly feeling insecure myself, thus leading to arguements and misery for the children and a separation anyway in the long run.

Answer 6

Only if I was still in love with him. Or I would stay together for the kids because I really wouldn't want them to have a horrible childhood because of me and my hubby, unless it would get too hard to trust him. Then I'd divorce.

Answer 7

yeah they always say give him another chance but thats what they look for another chance to mess up again honey a man is a aman they will always will make mistakes so do women but men are much more carless about it sometimes nott all men thoguh
no divorce him he is just looking for a forgiveness plan dont let him think ur scared to get out

Answer 8

You can give him a chance, I think people make mistakes but it will be a long hard road..anger, no trust, insecurities,and the list goes on. If you choose to forgive him you have to let it go, cause if you harp on it you will not be saving your marriage at all. Get a friend you can vent to so that you don't vent on him.

Answer 9

I am all for forgiveness, but I would still not stay with him. I would forgive him, but if he cheats once he will do it again. I would not want to live my life that way, and I would not want my kids to think that this type of behavior is acceptable.

Answer 10

I would stay, but I would also buy a HUGE diamond solitaire with his credit card and wear it on a chain everyday. And tell him "This is repayment for the cheating. If you do it again, I'm trading up."