how many of you are having an affair have had an affair? now be honest, it sooo exciting now isn't it?

Answer 1

OMG, it WAS so exciting. The adrenaline was just coursing every day because of the affair. It brought me to new levels of awareness and functioning.

Making sure that neither one found out about the other - that was so exciting. There were so many close calls, and the lying, and the little details that are left over from each visit that were almost discovered. The butterflies from each of those incidents, the stress, the insomnia, the double and triple checking. There's nothing like that feeling in the world! Like the bottom is about to fall out of your world and you'll plunge headfirst into a pit of swords.

The avoiding of the truth, the little white lies, the omission of facts - trying to remember all of those little webs and snares and making up lies on the spot. I never was so aware of what I was saying to whom. I never have sunk to such a low before, functioned so poorly. The guilt, the fear, the lying to myself. Every day, the knowledge of how I was hurting my wife and yet being unable to stop it. The certainty that I was going to get caught, that I was going to loose the one person I cared about the most and was going to crush her and any trust she had in me - exciting is an understatement. Disgust, self-loathing, anxieties, panic - those are closer to the point.

Imagine the excitement of trying to avoid the consequences of driving while drunk, of taking cocaine, of downloading porn at work. Excitement of trying to control a life that is so completely unmanageable and out of control - riding a high and mighty wave of chaos, the adrenaline of staying afloat for just one more second before the water crashes down on you and submerges you forever.

Thank you, I can do without such excitement in my life.

Answer 2

I'm not having an affair and haven't had an affair. My husband however has and is and here is how exciting it is for him. It has destroyed everything he worked for. His friends have abandoned him, my son wants nothing to do with him and I never want to see him again. Because he had done this before I guess he thought I would just get over it--again. But after years of stress and enduring a life threatening illness I have no interest in his self centeredness any more.

Am I bitter--you bet. I don't ever want to marry again. I don't take the bitterness out on others though it's not their fault I just feel I would not be good in another relationship and it would be unfair to another.

Finally, it's this kind of behavior that leads to others lives being destroyed, oh and just in case you think I fell totally apart and cried like a little girl, I picked myself up and took him down...hard....he ended up with virtually nothing and the tramp he is with who thought she had it made went from a guy who was well off to watching his soon to be ex-wife driving the Mercedes to her nice big house while he has the Ford Escort. Yeah people say in joint property states it will all be divided evenly but don't believe it, I am living proof.

Vengence is mine sayeth Charmingchatty and it's people who have affairs with married people who make it possible.

Answer 3

It may be exciting. But if you have been on the receiving end of the lies and the deceptions it gives a whole other perspective. I assume that you would want your partner to have the same excitement as you so you will feel good about him cheating on you and lying to you. Of course, if this is the case, you guys are meant for each other.

When your partner finds out I hope you know it won't feel as good as the wet excitement you felt this morning with the man who is also probably a liar.

Answer 4

I'm going through the pain of my husband having had 2 affairs that I just found out about. It's a very cruel thing to do to a family, with children because I'm now in the position of deciding if my family stays together or not. Don't play games with people's lives!

Answer 5

I didn't see anywhere in your question that you were asking about "extra-marital affairs", so i am going to assume you meant a normal affair between two consenting adults having sexual relations with no intention of cohabitation.
My answer is yes. Many times and yes they were all exciting the first weeks.

Answer 6

I've never cheated. Perhaps I will someday, long in the future, but it would only be after hell freezes over. My ex cheated, and while it probably was fun and exciting, she gets to live with the knowledge that she lowered her standard of living, had to work more, and hurt and harmed her children. She devastated her parents, ended an 18 year marriage, and made herself look like a slutty blitch.

Answer 7

I was cheated on. Not fun. It's the worst feeling. You really do have heart ache! Would NEVER put anyone through that kind of pain. It was almost as bad as loosing my dad.
If your having one, end it. It might feel exciting but how many people are you hurting or will hurt at the end. Think very hard. Especially if there are kids involved.

Answer 8

I could be if you thought that you wouldn't get caught. You gotta pay if you wanna play... The only true excitement in that is the challenge after that, you most likely feel guilty or you feel like you should have never got married. I think if people are that horney they need to tell their spouse that they have intentions on being with someone else because they are not satisfied.

Answer 9

Now be honest ...

- How exciting would it be getting caught?
- How horrible will you feel when you see the hurt on your partner's face?
- How exciting will it be to spend the rest of your relationship making it up to them?
- How much can you possibly respect the person you are with if you can so easily deceive them?
- How much respect will you have for yourself when something goes wrong? And something will.

Answer 10

had an affair on my first husband 25 years ago. fell in love with the guy, but he was transferred. second marriage - 18 years - ran into that first guy on line. marriage was bad already - left him and am engaged to that first affair! however - have also been cheated on - and it doesn't feel very good - i didn't cheat on the second marriage - i left it.