I am a National Guardsman serving in Afghanistan. Since I left home at the begining of the year, all I have heard is "I don't know" when I ask my girlfriend what does she want. She says she wants to wait and see how she feels when I come home on leave. THat is 3 weeks away. She says she hasnt been able to come up with an answer on how she feels about anything. Not sure if she wants to be part of an Army life, not sure if she is ready for my daughters, not sure if she is ready for a real relationship, not sure if she still loves me. Does it really take more then 9 months to figure any of these things out? I need help fast. I go on leave in 3 weeks.
2006-08-25 10:05:37 · 6 answers · asked by justmefromin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My hubby did a 10 month deployment to Kuwait and every day he was gone I couldn't wait for him to come back. It sounds to me that your gf is not being honest with you -- she is either immature (no offense) or she may have something in the wings and it is just more convenient for her to say that she "isn't sure." Trust me, it was difficult for my husband to be away, but one thing I was sure of, and that was that my arms would be waiting for him once he stepped foot off the plane. And honestly, you know deep down inside what your answer already is. Best of luck. And come home safely!
2006-08-25 10:11:21 · answer #1 · answered by psycheab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you expect such a big answer from her then you should give her time. Maybe your actions when you are home on leave will give her the answer that she needs. Just give her time while gently letting her know how you feel about her. In your question, you have a 'take it or leave it' attitude and if this is how you treat her, this may be the reason she doesn't know what to do, because she is unsure if you are the man she fell in love with or if you were just being nice before you left for duty.
2006-08-25 17:09:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you're just frustrated at being left in limbo. You're asking yourself a lot of questions that you can't have the answers to, until she gives them...and she's not willing. The best you can do, is be prepared for things to go either direction. There's nothing you can do from there. You can't know how to proceed until you speak with her in person. All I can tell you is ...try not to dwell on things you have no control over. All you'll accomplish is stressing yourself out. Worrying about what she's thinking won't get you the answers you're looking for, and I'm willing to bet you've got enough stress in your life right now.
Rather than trying to figure out what she wants from overseas, think about what you want to ask her when you get here. Think about what you want to tell her...not what you think she's going to tell you. Army life isn't easy for anyone, not her...and not you. It's natural that she'd have some concerns, and it's natural that you would have concerns about her accepting that. I know it's rough being over there with all of your loved ones being so far away, and I sincerely hope this works out for you. Hang in there, and accept the fact that you won't know the answers to these questions UNTIL you get home. Just be patient, and concentrate on what you have to do there, knowing those answers will come soon.
2006-08-25 17:22:31 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to be honest with you..... It took me 3 weeks to answer my boyfriend when he asked me to come here to Fallon NV(6th circle of hell) But I had to be sure that what I was doing was right.....Note: I have two daughters I had to consider. I know I made the right decision,Now the poor guy is waiting for an answer of marriege. Be patient....... She'll make a dicision. Rome wasen't built in a day and relationships are not either. If she doesen't have a possitive answer for you in two weeks then tell her you will assume that the answer is no,she may say yes right then......It's called reverse phycology.
2006-08-25 17:18:10 · answer #4 · answered by onesongtwotall 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't push her, man, let things take their natural course once you get home on leave. Women have a lot of trouble handling separation. Don't make her commit while you are gone. In fact, don't push it when you are home, for that matter. Just treat her like a queen, let her see how much you missed her. Stay away from drama.
2006-08-25 17:11:20 · answer #5 · answered by Dave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop her likes she's hot! If it has taken her this long to decide, I think the answere is NO.
2006-08-25 17:12:49 · answer #6 · answered by Tonya L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋