should u ever trust someone who cheated on u once?

Question

once a cheat is always a cheat? how far is this true?? please proper answers ... really stuck in this whirlpoolll!!! :( :( :( :( :(

Answer 1

Not always true but you are opening yourself for heartbreak 9 x out of 10. Sure you could forgive them and take them back and suffer the crushing blow i was dealt with by getting cheated on again. My own fault for being a fool cause in my heart I knew she would not change but I am a sucker for women, what can I say. Also your own doubt will ruin your relationship anytime the so called reformed cheater is gone longer than normal or is on the phone more than they normally are in the back of your mind a little voice will errupt yelling CHEATER to the very mountain tops. Don't do it is the best advice sure they may be sincere and may even change but sorry charlie there is no three strike rule when it comes to cheaters.

Answer 2

Depends on who it is.

For the most part, "once a cheater, always a cheater" is a good rule of thumb to go by.

There ARE exceptions. But they are few and far between.

If the guy who cheated is genuinely sorry, and not only SAYS he is sorry and wants to make it up to you, but also SHOWS that he's sorry and wants to make it up to you, IMHO the relationship has a chance to be saved.

By SHOWS, I mean that he answers the questions you ask (without bitching - HE'S the one that screwed up, not YOU); he tells you where he's going, where he's been, who he's with, and when he'll be home if you ask (without bitching - HE'S the one that screwed up, not YOU); and changes whatever behaviors he was engaging in that led to the cheating in the first place, be it drinking, barhopping, being "just friends" with someone, etc.

On YOUR part, you have to take in good faith that until he proves otherwise, he is TRYING to change. Which means that while asking questions while you rebuild the trust is okay, throwing the cheating at him and using it as a "weapon" is NOT. Yes, he screwed up. If he's honestly trying to fix it, beating him up with the past doesn't serve any purpose.

I put my fiance' (then boyfriend) through two years of hell while he worked to re-earn my trust after he cheated on me. It's not easy. And I really had to resist the temptation to "try to hurt him like he hurt me" or make him feel more guilty about what he'd done than he already did (and I knew that he did feel guilty and was trying to change, that's why we worked on it and overcame it).

Answer 3

It depends on the individual person.
My own experience is I was so distrustful and I couldn't live that way. Some people really learn their lesson and actually want to make a relationship work and won't cheat again then you have to get over the fact that they did cheat and move, let it go. Starting like it is a new relationship helps. I personally couldn't deal with the fact that he cheated then got on the internet w/ woman after the affair. I hope this helped you some and Good luck with you decision and your relationship. lol

Answer 4

No the truth is I cheated on my husband and the trust he had with me died he wasn't able to trust me again and thinks I will do it again and trust is a very big thing in a relationship without that what do you have really? Nothing if you believe that person won't do it again and believe that your always gonna have a gut feeling I think he/she is cheating on me and it will keep bugging you the best thing to do is tell that person after what they did to you tell them that the trust you had for them is gone and that they need to earn it back and then you might see a big change in that person if not there is something serious going on.

Answer 5

That depends on whether you are getting better at handling it. Some people can so they go back together, some can't. It depends on you and how deep your relationship/attachmebt with him. If you can't live without him then give him a second chance. if you know for sure you will be happier leaving this relationship then don't give it another chance. Once a cheater always a cheater is 90%+ correct. All the best whatever you choose.

Answer 6

i saw this happen to my friend and i've learned a great deal from her experience. here's what happened:

she went to visit her boyfriend and she got into a car accident on the way back home. she got into a car accident with a girl that was going over to see her boyfriend for a booty call(i kid you not! when i heard this...i laughed really hard, then felt bad for laughing because she started crying...). she actually took him back, but she didn't trust him at all! i mean, i don't blame her. but she became such a pain in the butt and naggy at him because she doesn't trust him one bit. she broke up with him because she cannot stand the lack of trust she doesn't have for him. she also turned into someone i do not know. she doesn't trust any guys. wouldn't give another guy a chance. just became a bitter person. i am no longer friends with her because when i met this wonderful guy, she got overprotective over me and didn't approve of me dating him. two years later, i married him (and i'm extremely happy now!).

so i've learned that once you caught him cheating, it's best that you let him go. the trust is completely gone and taking him back will only make you bitter and paranoid. you don't want to be bitter and paranoid, do you?

Answer 7

Well you will always have it in the back of your mind you will never forget no ,matter how much you want to, My husband cheated on me before we got married i forgave but did not forget i never felt the same towards him again, i loved him but i always had my doubts. We are now divorced because he cheated on me again with the same girl and i was not willing to give him another chance. But of course every one handles these things different . I think every once in a while a guy can learn from their mistakes and not cheat again but for most of them its once a cheater always a cheater.

Answer 8

You know better than anybody the answer to that question. But, speaking for the general population, unfortunately the answer is yes, once a cheat means almost always a repeat offender.

Answer 9

I have been cheated on and thought for sure that he had learned his lesson. I gave him a second chance. It took 3 years for me to learn that if he is capable of it once he is STILL capable of it...... even if he did learn a lesson the first time.
Sorry to say I do not have a favoring opinion here. I am an optimist and would always want to give someone a second chance. But I would beware that he (or she) is still the same person.

Answer 10

Everyone deserves a second chance. Once a cheater always a cheater is just a saying. think about it!! We all make mistakes and we learn from them. So I believe that the trust could be gained again. U just have to work on it..