i have confronted him about this and we just got married a year and 1/2 ago and we have been together for 6 years i don't know if to leave him and get a divorce or work things out we have been trying to work things out for a while now and every paycheck day is the same situation. i don't think i can take it anymore. please help me
2006-08-25 09:39:16 · 38 answers · asked by krazziekitty26 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
XXXXXXXXXXXX I'd have to sabotage his wallet. This I would not take. Either he contribute or get kicked to the curb. XXXXXX
2006-08-25 09:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to get straight to the point with this for you, and it may not be what you want to hear. What is happening here is he can do what ever he wants, because you let him. What I mean by that is, every paycheck he wastes, and what do you do about it? I can only guess there is a bit of arguing about it. Than it is over. It is obvious to me he doesn't care for you. If he really cared about you & your feelings, he would not waste his paycheck. You two are married he has responsabilities, and if he can't grow up you should move on. If you continue down this road letting him waste every paycheck on his addiction, you will never be happy, he will because he has full controll over you. So the best advice I have is if he can't understand he is married now and money should be spent on decisions that both of you make together, than you need to divorce him and find a man who will respect you.
2006-08-25 09:59:56 · answer #2 · answered by Big Daddy M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry him knowing that he's been this way for the past 6 years. Then you marry him, and he's not changing the way
he is spending his paycheck. Well I think that you should have dumped him ever since you knew about how he handles his money. Being married means that what is his is yours and what is your is also his, you share the income together. And well he must see things differently and you should not have to deal with that at all. Leave his *** girl.You deserve much better.
2006-08-25 10:25:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think that there is a chance that this marriage will work out i urge you to go to counseling if hes not interested or it doesn't help then walk away and make sure you take enough to pay off your bills and file for divorce immediatly if you wait you will be responsible for half of what he accumulated from the time you left till you filed for divorce or legal seperation, i know from experience
2006-08-25 10:32:37 · answer #4 · answered by cslynn1980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey the fact that u 2 staysed together for six year shows that you guys simply love each other...n that the reason why you should not think of speration..hey I kno how it feels n i'm not trng to give you bullshit..hey I do all that **** my self so I think may be I can help you with ths ****..Hey you need to give him some time cause you can't change someone that fast..may be you can take him to counseller or doc who can talk to him and may be change the way he thinks..It's not that he doesn't love you but when u r into some **** like ths you really need it n you are willing to do ne thing for it..Hey ther are two ways to deal with ths situation n ths is the best way to resolve it..2nd way is the tuff one so i would advise you to wait on that one..Hey I know it's difficult thing to do but all you need is patience n i'm sure you can do it so don't give up that easily..you find love just once in life n it takes a lot to have it..you just be strong n pay the price n i'm sure with time you will have a solution to your problem..hey try ths out for now n if it doesn't work then you can may be email me to find out the second way...keelfbeel@yahoo.co.in..Hey just make sure you communicate with him n not lose your temper..You can not fight n resolve your problem...trust me communication is one thing that can change ur life if it's used the right way..
2006-08-25 11:23:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I will say I had one of those,I don't any more, Mine was different, He was an alcoholic. If the guy is useing money for gambling or drinking he isen't worth the up hill climb. Other wise I will tell you what I did, I went out and got a job. I have my own money and I can buy what I need or what is nessasary for the house. It's much better for you and the hubby.
2006-08-25 09:47:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
his bad addictions are ruining your happiness ...i know its hard but I think you should seperate for a while ...then maybe he will realize what his behavior is doing to you,and make an honest attempt to change, unfortunatly some people have to hit bottom before the gravity of the situation sinks in..It sounds like you have given a lot to save the marriage...now i think you must impose reality on him , and the most profound way to do that is to leave,and hopefully he will get counsiling and change his habits
the choice has to be his either ..he loves you enough to change or you will be subjected to a very unhappy marriage. good luck
2006-08-25 09:51:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband has an addiction and will never think of anyone but himself until he gets clean. sorry to hear all this, but it would probably be better if you left him alone for awhile, let him get straight, (and if he doesn't, don't take him back) see where he stands in a couple months, hopefully this will be a wake up call for him, and he will appreciate all you have done for him. and i am sorry if he does not do the right thing, it will however, eventually catch up with him. if you are not happy after 6mos. file for a divorce.
2006-08-25 09:45:12 · answer #8 · answered by nadadizzyblonde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you get married, you become one. You have two choices, leave him now and not suffer or make him be responsible. What would happen if you stop paying the bills? If there is no action from him then leave now because he will never change.
2006-08-25 10:20:45 · answer #9 · answered by valery b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there. I am a Christian and I am not big on divorce. I went to my pastor and he counseled us. Your man has to (1) realize that he is the problem and (2) be willing to work on it. Without that there isn't much that you can do. My husband did realize that he was the problem and has changed a lot.
2006-08-25 10:32:48 · answer #10 · answered by Keke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well how long has he been irresponsible??
The whole six years or just recently?
I would say counseling but if he doesn't want to cooperate I would separate and let him pay his own way for a while maybe that will snap him out of his addictiveness Good luck
2006-08-25 09:46:29 · answer #11 · answered by daack7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋