my 15 year old son smokes cannabis?

Question

he has been smoking it for over a year that i know of and he was getting in to trouble by stealing to pay for it,so i moved over 200 miles away to another area and yet again he has found a crowd of kids who smoke to,he knows the dangers,sometimes hes so stoned he cant walk and has been found laying in the woods in the rain,he also has a terrible cough and sometimes his breathing is quite bad.I really dont no what to do,ive asked him if hes addicted and if he needs help but he says no.I have to hide my purse and any valubles as they go missing.any suggestions greatfully recieved.I feel my hands are tied because even keeping him in is not going to stop the problem.

he's been in trouble with the law from this and has done two house burglaries and stolen cars,and stole from me.hes had community orders but the courts dont seem to think cannabis is the problem

Answer 1

EVERYONE SHUT-UP!!! Firstly telling a mother to INSTITUTIONALISE her son is inhumane in the least and a waste of time because any mother who truly loved her child would be able to see past all of these things anyway. Its not responsible to tell anyone what to do, especially when they are worried.

How about having a little faith that your son is a good boy and maybe just having a hard time right now...he certainly isn't alone. Everyone i know smoked pot as a teenager and the only reason they had to steal anything was because this society sets you up at that age to want so much but not have access to anything. You could try and control his habit and help him cut down, find things for him to do that don't involve those crowds, not pull him out of anything, just listen to him and maybe even pay for the one thing he seems to want so much, all cases where parents have got in with their child and tried to gain some control over their intake, has worked, as long as its not oppressive. teenagers remember make lots of mistakes and there could be so many reasons, it isn't important, what's important is that you don't alienate yourself from him byt being too forceful, i hope you still want a relationship with your son, because sending him anywhere other than into the warm and loving embrace of your arms would be much more criminal than any of the petty theft that leads to some of his dope.

Just listen to him, don't talk, show him you want to try and understand it from his perspective, if he's uncomfortable talking about it, ask him to think about why he sokes, why he likes it, don't judge him, don't isolate him, be with him as much as you can and show him you love him no matter what.

My mum was an alcholic my whole life and i would never forgive myself if she ever thought my love for her was conditional on her not drinking...that would be ridiculous, because she has and will always drink, what matters is that i love her and she knows that and we have a good relationship, be gentle with him...please don't pay attention to the fools on this question telling you to send him away, its been proven that putting young people in places like that only teaches them more about crime, they learn from the other people, and always go back more if they go once than if they never wen in the first place.

Good luck, i'll pray for you

Answer 2

Cannabis is not really the problem because many people smoke cannabis without committing a crime. it may be that he doesn't have any boundaries within the home and hasn't had for a long time and so his behaviour is progressively getting worse.

It may help if you get in touch with his Youth Offending Officer or the community drugs team in your area. Education can also be approached to assist you if he isn't going to school because you will be deemed responsible for getting him to school.

Moving will not help because you are not addressing the reasons behind his behaviour. It may help to sit down with him with information about cannabis and the long-term effects - research shows that it can lead to psychosis and then try to find out why he's behaving the way he is - maybe try to get him involved with some training/apprenticeship which can occupy his time so he isn't bored

Answer 3

firstly ask him why he enjoys it so much and then ask if he would try to give up with help an support, if yes there are many ways he could do so like joining a gym or keeping fit through sports activities but he must be willing to put the effort in, or he could try working long hours so his mind is focused on other things rather then smoking, if he says no dont give up search the web or through other sources and try to show him pictures of the effects of the drug and try to stress how much of a bad effect it will have on his life also you can try asking for help from friends and relatives, he may not want to know at first but be strict with him dont let him push you around try to work with him and let him know people around him care for him and his well being if that doesent seem to work then you can try grounding him and make him do chores around the home to contribute towards living there dont shut him out that will turn him more into a rebel stop him mixing with those he thinks are his friends and to be more part of the family maybe hes not happy with parts of his life which is probably the reason he smokes it an support him through it, it wont be easy but tell him the stealing and lying must stop or theres little hope of him maintaining a good lifestyle, if he refuses or doesnt care then start taking things away from him like computer etc and tell him he can have them back as long as he helps you out in return if this proves difficult you can always ask social services for help and advise also you can try giving him pocket money but he must have something to show for what hes spending it on like games dvd's etc and let him know how much hes loved and how much his bad habbits are affecting familly.

Answer 4

Forget doctors, forget court orders....send him to rehab. Your son has an addictive personality and pot isn't even a physical addictive drug! Its mentally addictive, but just as hard to get off of! My brother began experimenting with pot when he was about 15 and for a long time, it was no big deal.

After awhile, he became involved in other things and alcohol. Pot wasnt his downfall, but it led him to other things. I think you should send your child to rehab or boot camp. If he comes home and still acts out, tell him that you love him and you've tried to help him, but that your hands are tied and he wont allow you to help him. Tell him that he has to go and he cant take any clothes, any money, no cell phone, no car, nothing. Changes your locks and all security numbers. Before he leaves, tell him that if he wants to come back, all he has to do is start caring more about himself and stop doing this destructive behavior. Also, remind him that he is hurting no one but himself. You may end up being sad, but in the end, its HIS life he's ruining, not yours.

Sometimes drastic things, call for drastic measures.

Answer 5

smoking weed is fun to teenagers who don;t realise the dangers. Kids start off with weed and then move onto other drugs out of curiosity. That is why weed is known as a 'gateway' drug.
Your son seems to be on a slippery path, you need to intervene now, or he could soon move onto crack. he may be using different drugs already if he is stealing to pay for it. I know some mothers who have thrown their kids onto the street, a quick sharp shock, but this doesn't usually help and the kids end uo being more dissollusioned. You and your son need professional help to deal with this problem.

Once some-one is institutionalised, then it becomes like a vicious circle.

Answer 6

I had the same problem, and I did the same thing...moved far away. I yanked him out of school and moved into a hotel room and home schooled him for 4 months first and threatened to do it for the rest of high school if I caught him again, luckily he found a sport and is more respectful of his coach and as a result me. I fear your son may be too far for that. This is a tough love situation. I would make sure he is caught, without adjudication it will be hard to get him in rehab. It won't feel lucky, but probation and a program court ordered will carry weight. I hate that you are going through this. Good Luck!

Answer 7

A huge proportion of teenagers smoke cannabis, but very few would go to those lengths to get it. It's difficult until he realises that he has a problem. You could try finding someone who has been through an awful time with drug addiction and get them to talk to your son, so hopefully the message will kick in as the person would have been in the same situation as your son and could therefpre empathise with him. Your son seriously needs re-hab. When you think he has fully recovered you may want to move again sp that he is not tempted to start smoking again with his current friends.

Answer 8

Sometimes you have to put this in the hands of a higher authority for the good of your child. You can check with the Juvenile Authorities in your area to see what they advise but where I am you can file a CHINS (Child In Need of Supervision) Petition on a child where they have to report to a Probation Officer and may be ordered to drug rehab. It's not being cruel but a matter of trying to save his life because if he isn't stopped now he may be doing other substances that could land him in even more serious problems than he is already facing. You need all the help you can get and he needs to face the consequences of his actions before he gets arrested and placed in prison or killed for trying to supply his habit. May God Bless You!!

Answer 9

ok here we go.... i am 20 and was a drug addict for 6 years... ive been clean for a year or so.. i started when i was 13. cannibus is serious... it changes your mind and way of life.. moving will actually worsen the problem and so will punishing him.. he is it soundslike at the point in life where nothing is right and he is unhappy and they only way he is happy is with his friends... the only way i learned was my parents being loving but it was a tough kind of love... i stole to pay for all my drugs and even made most of them myself... it wasnt until i hit the very rock bottom when i changed.. and it took years to do it... if u are truly scared for your sons life.. talk to him.. and maybe even scare him a bit... im sure there is a really good rehab center you can take him to to see how messed up his mind can get.. good luck.. i know things will get better.. they always do..

Answer 10

I was the same way then I got into the harder things (have been clean of everything for 7 years) except herion and crack, it sounds like if hes stealing things for it he must be doing something harder, and the way he ends up they are either mixing the weed with things (coke, premithazine) those effect you in that way, you just need to be straight with him one day hopefully he will relize its not worth it to get the same effect over and over again! You just need to put your foot down and do it hard, where ever he goes you can find "weed" its not that hard so if those are people he can associate with then of course he will keep doing it those are people he feels comfterable with !