Has a family member or close friend died? And if so, how did it affect you?

Question

If someone close to you died, how would it affect you? Would it make you stronger, weaker, or neutral? The reason I'm asking is because my Dad died when I was 10 years old. For a while, it weakened me, and I didn't really care about anything. But eventually, it made me a stronger person.

Thank you all very much for your support. My Dad's been gone for 7 years now, but I still miss him a lot. Reading all of your responses made me cry, but that's good. Crying is a way of releasing emotions, which are never good to build up. I think what upsets me the most about my Dad's death was HOW he died. He was a police officer, and a good one. Then one day, he and his partner responded to a bank holdup. When they got there, one of the guys robbing the bank pulled a gun on my Dad and shot him in the chest. The bullet narrowly missed his heart and entered his lung. He was brought to the hospital, in shock. He was there for 4 days, then he died. Because of the injury to his lung, he couldn't talk to us, so he had to write everything out on a piece of paper, even though he was clearly too weak to write. The last words he wrote to me were "I love you, Princess." I still have the note on the desk by my bed. I'll always miss him and think of him, but it did make me stronger.

Answer 1

I lost my mother when I was seven years old. It was a very confusing time for me. It was my first experience with death and I didn't understand why she died. Nobody really explained what it meant. I just knew that my dad, grandmother and other family members were really sad all the time. My grandfather passed away a few years later and when he died my grief for my mother resurfaced because I better understood what had happened.
I think losing my mother made me a weaker person over all because I was always looking for a mother figure to guide me. My father remarried but my stepmother was not exactly the kind of woman I would call a role model. Yeah, she taught me the basics of being a woman, but a girl needs a mother to really help her navigate the field mines of life as a woman.

Answer 2

Yes I have. Both my grandparents passed away within 9 months of each other. My grandfather actually passed away the day after my first child was born.

Needless to say I was devastated at the time. I had already gone through a pretty life changing experience, giving birth, and then to be hit with the news of his passing about 14 hours later .. well it was pretty hard to accept.

I know it's nowhere near as traumatic as losing a parent, though it still affects you as a person.

I can't really say that it weakened me only because I had a child to take care of at that time. I needed to focus everything on the new life I brought into the world.

I do think of them often and I do miss them a great deal. It's difficult knowing that they're not around anymore and that they never got to know their great grandchildren. But I always try to think of the good times we had and that makes me happy.

I can understand why you felt the way you did after your father's passing and I must say that I'm sure you're family is very proud of you for becoming a stronger person in the end.

Answer 3

Yes; a family member, who was also a close friend, died about four years ago. It affected me in a medium way. I mean, I cried...I was in denial...I questioned God(she had a lot going for her). I sitll question her death even now. It didn't make me stronger or weaker. I guess neutral is the word. Sure, I told everyone that day that I did love them, and I was glad they were still in my life and considered me as a friend(even though i was their cousin), and each year the pain lessoned. But every year on her anniversary...I wear black(possibly stuff she bought me), and I say prayers. I listen to songs she and I liked...or songs that reminded me of her, or songs I listend to the day I found out. I still am saddended when I hear songs at church which were sung at her funeral mass. I do pray, and ask her for help and guidance too. But I've had family members die before and after her, and yet, I've never felt the sense of loss that I felt when she was gone. I just figured it was because I wasn't close to them...and also because unlike her, they were pretty old and lived a full life. I try to think of the short life she lived and try to live my life the way i'd want it, because I know mine could end tomorrow, even though I don't think about it.

Answer 4

My dad just passed away 8-17-2006. I am 47 years old(as of Aug 20), and it does not make it any easier. The emotions that are going through me range from one extreme to another. My Dad committed suicide. But to know him you would of never expected this of him. He was invencible to me. He was my hero. I love him so very much. I dont know if this will make me a stronger or better person, Right now i am just trying to get through each hour of the day. I have my Daughter and Grandson to to think of. I am the oldest of his five children. I am trying to be strong, but I am taking this so hard. I miss and love him so much, I just cant believe he is gone or that he didn't call. He had everyone convinced that everything was ok, just the usual money problems that everyone seems to have. My dad has been married quite a few times but there are two sets of children, we dont use the word half, we are brothers and sisters, but now they are divided and I can only call them the hatfield and mc coys. It is just horrible. There is just so much crap going on, that I just try to stay clear of everyone, they are like vultures.
I just am not ready to let go of him yet. I know he was 72. But to look at him you would never know. He was a strong, good man, he beat cancer. He had quadruple bipass heart surgery and was up and around in a week. He is just a miricle worker. They dont get no better. He drove truck his whole life. And still drove after retirement.

Answer 5

I'm sorry to hear of your Dad passing. I know it's hard. I lost my mother when I was 15, a good friend when I was 18 and a sister when I was 30. I'm stronger I know and also realize that life is a bit** sometimes but must go on. I live life to the fullest as possible, without getting too crazy. I'm also very expressive with my feelings towards others because I feel life it so short. I also try to pick my battles, live life peacefully and with little or no drama as a result also. Good luck, good you are introspective. Some people have no clue.

Answer 6

My dad died when I was 26. Four years ago in March. I went through a lot of emotions. First I thought it was the end of the world. Because my dad was my hero and I looked up to him. Then I just started to block it out. And I then statred to hate him which now I still am mixed feelings about the whole thing. I miss him deaply. But i hate him for doing this to me. I still can't do too much talking on the subject but I wanted to answer. Cause yo didn't get to go through all the growing up with yours I did. And trust me it really hurts still. By the way he shot himself and it would of never happened if I didn't have an abusive boyfriend, he would of never got the damn guns.

Answer 7

My grandfather died when I was only 4 so I have few memories of him, but they were good memories. For a long time I felt terrible, and after many, many years I finally accepted that he was gone and there was nothing anyone could do about it, and I guess I just was normal again. It made me stronger because I have experienced one of the worst feelings ever and I know even if someone isn't there I'll be ok.

Answer 8

I had 4 birds and now I only have 1. 3 of the 4 died..I know that they are animals but I consider them as my faimly too.. I still think about them..But if someone really close died I would feel heartbroken and cry offten..It would make me feel strong and weaker because I would know that the person meant a lot to me and would want me to feel better about myself and be stronger day after day!!!

Answer 9

Very interesting question. My Mom passed away in May of this year and I always found myself asking the question how will I handle this, what will I do when one of my parents passes away. I guess it has made me stronger because when you think of a parent passing it seems like the most horrible thing that could ever happen to you in your lifetime whether you be younger or older. But you do deal with it and keep going on, and being thankful for the memories. Good question, you sure made me think!

Answer 10

My father died when I was 19 years old. He raised both my sister and myself alone. I feel that it made me a stronger person because I was determined to lead a good life and have everything in life that I wanted. I also had so much respect for him that I wanted the world to see what a good job he did as a father while he was here.