To have or not to have kids. My woman freaks out on me II the sequel?

Question

Turns out this is why:After6.5 years together(she 40 me44)has decided she wants kids.We had this talk 5 years ago,decided not to and I believed she was O.K. with it.I like my/our life,we work hard,have little down time, but when we do we spend it together ususlly motorcycling.I am not willing to give up riding ever,no way.I admit I really don't want kids,even so this seems wrong.If you've got time,check this out,tell me what you think.Her reasons for wanting kids are1.someone to always love her2.someone to care for her when she's old3.to fill an indescribable void4.it makes others happy.Never have I heard" To raise a healthy,well balanced,happy and productive kid".Further.there is a history of addiction on both sides of our families(We've been clean many years) and we each have siblings with psychiatric problems. I'm sure you can guess there is much more to it,but I see these as the significant issues....Do you think we/she should have kids?

THANKS ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR INPUT ,ALL GOOD ANSWERS I'M LEAVING IT TO A VOTE FOR BEST.

Answer 1

Don't have kids if you don't want them. It's not fair to you or to the kids. There are plenty of people on this planet already. It may be cause to end the relationship, but don't have kids just to preserve the relationship.

Answer 2

Of course you should have a child not children. Honestly when I became pregnant with my daughter my whole life changed. Yes, I had some one to love, and yes I had someone to love me, and yes she filled a void. However, it gave me the motivation additionally that I needed to start my passions in life going. Your family history doesn't have to be your child's future you get back what you give to that precious union the both of you create! Just trust me if you have a child your whole prospective will change and lastly she may feel ready and there's nothing wrong with that after all it is maternal instinct to want a child as well as care for it! Good luck and give her a baby I guarantee it will bring you two closer together even renew your intimacy!

Answer 3

Her biological clock is ticking away and there is little time. This is the time to make the desision and you shouldface the conversation instead of trying to avoit the "talk" and not ackowldge her instinct that is hounding her.

I understand your reasons, they seem to be pretty valid, but also be considerate with her feelings and her wishes to be a mom.

I suggest for you to buy her a puppy instead. You can offer for her to get licensed as a foster mom and see if that helps both of you make up your minds.

Adopting and older child is another alternative. No diapers, no formula, no sleepless nights,

Good luck

Answer 4

for #3 in her reasons.. that is a very important one. some women get to an age that their biological clock starts SCREAMING at them. and their maternal instincts kick in and they suddenly feel the need to have children. she probably has many dreams of being pregnant or having a kid. children can be the soft spot in a lot of women's (and some men's) hearts. that is why she feels as if shes missing out. if you are worried about the kid ending up having a psychological illness, consider adopting. this feeling she has; will not go away. you should try to be more compassionate.

Answer 5

This is not buying a new puppy or a new BMW, this is talking about making a lifelong commitment to a human being. You and her need to talk to each other and friends that have kids to really down to need-to-know facts on kids. Not just im old and want kids.

Answer 6

You have to both want the kid other wise no. If you have both previously discussed not having children then she also has to respect that. You both need to sit down and discuss this, and both really listen to each other, respect each other.

Answer 7

Try, the chance for a first one at your age is getting slim anyway so you probably don't have to worry.