My "boyfriend" told me that i would ruin his life if i had the baby. and keeps insisting i get an abortion. but i have had one years ago and i know the tole it took on my body mind and soul. i refuse to get one now. Im old enough to make my own mind up. i can support this baby and really dont need him. but my baby does need a father. what would you do?
2006-08-25 07:33:00 · 45 answers · asked by miss genie 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It is YOUR body... if he doesn't want to be in the baby's life.. well thats HIS loss.. i say tell him to grow up... if he can have sex.. then he should be able to handle having a kid in his life... and if he splits on you.. hit him up for child support.. you may not need the money but the baby can always use it.. evne if you DO jsut put it in a college fund.
i have a 2 yr old... and her father isn't in the picture at all....and we're doing VERY well.. i'm attending school.. i do have to live at home to make it through school, but thats a sacriffice im' willing to make to provide a good ife for her....
so don't let your boyfrined make you do anything you don't feel right about doing. if you want the baby and feel you can provide for it and give it at least a loving mom then do it. don't worry about him... the baby will have lots of male role models which will be all he/she needs...
and there is NO other feeling in the wold liek having a baby of your own. the lvoe is indescribable!!! and who knows maybe he will stick around long enough to see that and maybe his thoguhts will change....
Best of luck with your desicion!
2006-08-25 07:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by joyfulpriss 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you've already made up your mind and just want confirmation that you're doing the right thing. I think you are. One abortion is one thing. Two is something completely different. The fact that you're not using abortion as a means of birth control is great. The fact that you recognize the need for a father is even better. Just because single moms do a fabulous job of raising their children doesn't mean the children couldn't use a dad. It's obvious that your "boyfriend" isn't ready to be a father (and yet has no problem practicing), so don't force him into it. He'll make for a miserable one now. It's always possible that you'll meet someone who is willing to take on the responsibility. Any positive male role model for your child is better than nothing. A grandfather, uncle, or close friend can have a great influence on your child. Like I said, if you've already made your mind up, have the baby. Our country currently supports the woman's right to choose. You've made your choice, and your boyfriend can't force you to have an abortion. Best wishes!
2006-08-26 19:15:00 · answer #2 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets do a reality check here...he does not love you to begin with if he states this. He is the one who ruined his life by having unprotected sex with you and getting your pregnant...it takes 2 people to make a baby. DO NOT ABORT that baby because it is LIFE. A small LIFE that means so much and I understand your baby needs a father but who needs a father who blames others for their own actions. He cannot make you do anything. Just do what you have to do and take care of that baby and make him pay child support. If he did not want any kids then he should have kept his pants zipped up and things would not be the way they are now.
2006-08-25 07:38:37 · answer #3 · answered by Coast2CoastChat.com 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've really got yourself a heap of problems...I personally think it is wrong to choose to have a baby without the father's consent. Nobody should have to become a parent against their will. But the bottom line is, you are the one who is pregnant, and It is your body; therefore it is your decision. He cannot force you to do anything you don't want to do with your body. So, the decision becomes a moral one...it's too late to keep the info. to yourself and raise this child on your own. You've already chosen to tell the father. This guy knew, just as well as you did, that pregnancy was a possibility the minute the two of you had sex, so he certainly is responsible for making a child with you. I do believe in pro-choice, and you've got one heck of a choice to make now. I have to say it....you should have made a choice to take birth control, but I don't dare throw stones...I am a woman too and I know the choices aren't always easy to make.
2006-08-25 07:48:29 · answer #4 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the decision that is best for you and the baby. If he is truly insisting that you have an abortion, I doubt that he'd make a very good father anyway. The baby could probably do without him anyway. It may take a while but you'll find someone else to be a father to your baby. Stand up for yourself and your baby. If you decide, after careful consideration, that the best thing for both of you is to have an abortion...have one. If you decide that adoption would be best...do it. If you decide that the two of you can meet any obstacle (including a wary father)...you can do it.
But whatever you decide, I wish you all the best luck in the world.
2006-08-25 07:41:04 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call a child support office, and request the paternity packet. If they get the packet ahead of time - all you have to do is give them a call when the baby is born, and they can start the paternity action to get him to pay support.
It's not his choice whether or not to keep the baby. And, if he's being like this now - chances are he's going to be a jerk to the baby later.
The baby is yours. And there's only one person in the world that can make the choice.
And that is you.
2006-08-25 15:00:50 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he can't make you have an abortion. Tell him that he knew the consequences when he chose to have sex. He made the decision to accept a baby when he got in bed with you. He has no room to talk now.
You won't ruin his life because you will keep that baby away from such a jackass. Your baby will have plenty of good male influences. I think your child would choose life w/o a father over no life at all.
2006-08-25 08:11:42 · answer #7 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. And your baby doesn't need a father. S/he needs his/her mother...and will for the next 18 years. That's your job now. NOt to jump from guy to guy trying to find him/her a dad. That will have a worse effect on the child than if you showed him/her that you can be strong, independant, and responsible all on youw own...without a man to support you. It won't be easy, but if you have the support of your family and friends...and a really good babysitter haha, you should be fine. Don't ever let a man tell you what yo do. Much love.
xo
2006-08-25 07:40:45 · answer #8 · answered by pollypureheart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get rid of the boyfriend he seems like a jerk. I think you should have this baby... keeping it is up to you. if you can not financly sipport it then give it up for adoption if you can then be a single momma... im sure you find a great guy that loves you and that baby! Dont get another abortion... it's not good for your body or for innocent child! Best of Luck to you!!
2006-08-25 08:05:24 · answer #9 · answered by NaVy WiFeY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can make you have an abortion. There are a lot of good men out there that would except your child as his own if he loves you. The hell with the other guy, he is just lucky his mother didn't have an abortion when she was pregnant for him. My prayers are with you and you stand behind in what you believe is right. Good luck
2006-08-25 19:06:55 · answer #10 · answered by kathy m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋