Married People: Do you feel as if you "let one slip away"?

Question

My bestfriend was telling me about a guy she dumped years ago for whatever reason. Later, she got married to someone else, and soon regretted dumping the first guy. While in her marriage, she realized that the things she saw bad in the 1st guy were only minor, and probably could have been worked out. She told me today that she feels it was a bad decision and now she has to swallow the fact she's may have missed out on the "right one".

Do you feel like there was a woman/man that could have been the right one for you, but you let it slip away?

Answer 1

Sweetie,I think we all go threw that at one time or another.when things get hard and they always do.We all think about what if and the grass is always greener on the other side.I feel that if your friend really was happy with the first guy then she would not have went as far as to marry someone else.I know we all make mistakes and even some times marry the wrong person.But I AM sure she probably would have ended up saying the same thing about this guy if she had married that guy.No matter what there is no real Cinderella.

Answer 2

NO, if your friend had married the other one she would be regretting that too! Its not about someone else, its about her not being content with her marriage. People often look back but the fact is that if it should have worked out it would have worked out. Ex's are ex's for a reason but time dulls the recollection. You don't compare PEOPLE, thats just wrong. She needs to make a decision, well she already made a decision, now she needs to make that decision work, she got married but she didn't REALLY commit herself to being married or this wouldn't be a question. Her question would about how to fix whatever is wrong in her relationship and with herself.

Answer 3

No, not at all... If it didn't feel "right" then, it would not have been "right" now. It is true that people do change as they age, and someone I might not have gotten along with when I was 18 I will get along with just fine when I'm 35 - but I had to make the decision at 18. One can't commit to a relationship simply because they're guessing that it will get better in the future when they're older. It has to be right in the "here and now".

Sounds like your friend is simply dissatisfied with her marriage, and she's looking for "mistakes" in her past that aren't really there.

Answer 4

I agree with your friend 100 percent !!!!!I'm going thru that as we speak.I left a pretty good guy for someone i thought was better at the time ,now i see what my ex done was very minor compared to what my boyfriend does now.and do i ever regret my decision!!Id give almost anything to take it back!!I cry almost everyday realizing what a mistake i made,how i wasn't thinking with the right parts if ya know what i mean!And i should of been.Everything i hate from my now boyfriend my ex never did the only thing he was never home much he worked on the road and i was lonely so i left him for someone who was there more and ohh how this guy lied to me and acted SO dif and when we got tog and i left my ex how he changed and it was for the worse!!So i know exactly how she feels i guess we got to learn from our mistakes even tho sometimes the hard way all i know is i will never be as stupid again i just hate i had to learn like i did!!So like i say if things aren't really that bad at home don't go looking else where cause they are probably worse!!

Answer 5

any time somoene says ha ha i was joking that is a ploy they really mean whoops did i say that out loud let me play it off like it is a joke. Seriously, too me that is a red flag...which means yes he would cheat married or otherwise and he has thought about it and some guys will use the i want to get married thing to attract girls who want to get married those who would let their morality slide just because "he's gonna be my husband" And if you already have trust issues with him and you had to even ask that question that is your internal instincts kicking in girl. keep looking and beware the red flags as soon as you see them point them out to the guy move on and if he is willing enough to change the thing that is flagging you to run i mean really change you might have a keeper i mean who of us is perfect right. And you should pray for god to send you the right guy and wait. i know it's a dirty word "wait" but trust me i know from experience you do not want to ignore the flags or you will make a huge mistake.

Answer 6

I have let several good women slip away. Fortunately, I have been very lucky to have another chance to meet the wonderful woman who became my wife. Sure, sometimes I wonder what it would have been like with so and so, but in the end, I am happy where I am. Tell your friend she needs to look for the good, try to work on the bad, and not waste her life worrying about what might have been.

Answer 7

No , i know i am married to my soulmate, i could not have found anyone more perfect for me. But you friend might be thinking in bad times that the grass could have been better on the other side right? Well you can't change the past so tell her to try and work on her relationship and it will hopefully get better.

Answer 8

I think it could happen, but why marry someone if you're not 100% sure about that person? She should concentrate on her marriage and let the past go.

Answer 9

only when my hubby acts a fool or when i talk to an old friend that brings up our first loves. i think its normal, or at least ok to wonder what could have been. at the end of the day, i want nothing more than to be cuddled in my hubby's arms and recieve a kiss goodnight

Answer 10

I try not to dwell long on those two most terrible of words.

What If...

Live for today, regret nothing. Take each mistake as a lesson learned and live without fear.