I have been out with three different divorced men, each of which has told me about their divorce or ex's on the first date. Not alot of details, just who initiated it, how long they were married, why they split up, etc... I'm divorced, but don't really like to share all of the details on the first date. Are they more comfortable with their divorces than I am? Does this happen to anyone else?
2006-08-25 07:18:50 · 21 answers · asked by lalala 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They are probably comfortable talking about their divorces, Plus they may think you want to know what happened, just in case you two have a relationship. Or they may just need to vent. So If I were you I would just listen and offer any support that you can. And who knows maybe later on you will be comfortable talking about your divorce. Good Luck!
2006-08-25 07:23:37 · answer #1 · answered by Backwoods Barbie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you on this one... I'm a very private person who doesn't like to share certain details of my personal life with people I don't know well. I'd been divorced, it was peaceful, I'm long "over" it and have nothing to hide... but I would not bring it up in a conversation with a stranger, let alone on the first date.
It seems to be a common practice here in the US to talk about your ex-spouses on the first date; it may be a somewhat cultural phenomenon. I became kinda used to the fact that this subject gets brought up fairly quickly. Still, I feel that it is an unappropriate conversation topic for a first date.
2006-08-25 14:36:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are probably just more comfortable with their divorce. I'm pretty sure this happens a lot... they probably want to give you slight details so you are aware of how much commitment there was. For instance, if a man was just recently divorce because his wife initiated it and he was still madly in love with her, you wouldn't want to get involved with him because he's still emotional about the divorce and hasn't had time to deal.
I'm sure these men just want to assure you that they are ready to move on, is all.
2006-08-25 14:28:59 · answer #3 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being divorced is an important piece of information that you should know, If they don;t tell you the truth at the very beginning, then if you find out later your would feel deceived. I believe honesty is the best policy, that way, they let you know what are you getting in to, if they are kids involved or alimony payments etc. so you later don;t complaint that you didn;t know and you can tell right away if you are interested or not.
Divorced people don;t have time to play games, so they need to know if you can handle the baggage or not.
Good luck
2006-08-25 14:28:01 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that all these men did the right thing. They wanted to be honest with you. They wanted you to know about that. I think this is right! They may feel more comfortable but don't worry about it. You'll feel too in a little time!I am not married or divorced.
2006-08-25 14:24:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it has happended to me before. I went on dates and guys would talk about their ex wives even ex girl friends.Some times I believe it helps relieves the past so that thry can move on with the future. Other times just think they want you to know what happened with the and why the relationship didn't work so they can drop hints and hope that you don't do what the ex wife or ex girl friend did. I actually think to some degree its cool for them to talk about it because it would help you get to know them better and what they been through. It might actually make your future relationship better because I know when I guy tell me that his girl friend did something that he didn't like I make a mental note of to not make that sma e mistake.
2006-08-25 14:47:21 · answer #6 · answered by black beauty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It hasn't happened to me. Are you going out with recently divorced guys? It could be they don't know what to say so they start rambling. Why not say something like,"lets not talk about depressing thing right now, tell me about your job"
2006-08-25 14:22:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
they probably just want to put it out on the table, be completely honest about whats going on in their lives so you know what you are getting yourself into and not waste your time or theirs finding out later, i did the same when i was dating, i have a boyfriend now, but i told them i had a pending divorce, just so they know.
2006-08-25 14:24:13 · answer #8 · answered by Ms_Sweet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your experience remains your property and has your authorisation to whom you wish to relate it or not. Men sometimes spit out their experiences either because they wish to be frank and open with their new partners or else so that the new partner would not have to search out on their past.
However if you feel you are NOT in a position to share your experience do not worry, you are free to deal with it the best you feel it right to do so. In any case go out and enjoy yourself and stop worrying about little things that are not so important.
2006-08-25 14:22:42 · answer #9 · answered by Janine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they have put the past behind them that is why they are comfortable talking about their divorces and you should try to do the same. you should never hang on to the past.
2006-08-25 14:23:37 · answer #10 · answered by Erica j 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋