naruto question?

Question

I making a naruto characters i need help with skillz
so far he has a kekkai genkai that makes it pitch black his name is natsume yukishiro he was origannly with his mother untill itachi took him away to train to be one of them so he left with him he thinks his whole clan got wiped many years ago so many people don't no much about it one day he gets tired of itachis traing so he goes to orihimaru and he has him spy on the sand village and then starts to like temari. so how do you like it so far

Answer 1

I like it, it's pretty interesting, but I think you can improve. There are a few things that don't sound too clear:

- why did Itachi take him away, especially if he was living with his parents? He wouldn't have just taken him away from his family. He would need a much better reason than training and plus, it doesn't sound like something Itachi would do.
So you need to find a more interesting and complex beginning here.

- why and how did he get tired of Itachi's training? This and the first question confuse each other.

Because, you see, first you said Itachi took him away from his family in order to train him. So the boy's training with Itachi is supposed to be considered a major element. If after some time, you twist the story and you say that he just got tired of Itachi's training and casually went away in search for something better, you're basically brushing off the value and importance of the first event: the separation of the boy from his family.

You have to work on your character's background a bit. Otherwise, I like it. Keep it up.