how do I get my husband to do thing ?

Question

I do everything for this man we have been together 3 years married 2 months and my husband does nothing. i take out the trash I work 14hours a day come home make dinner , clean up the house and get things ready for the following day. he will not even put his dishes in the sink he hands them to me to do. someone help this man is spoiled not from his mother but from me . and I need help to get him to do things for himself , and holding back sex just will not work.

I do ask him for help and he was not like this until we got married.

Answer 1

nope..the sex thing is completely diff and has nothing to do with him Choosing or Wanting to HELP YOU.

here's the problem.. u are setting absolutely No boundaries. waht do u expect from yourself as a wife...to be a slave?? i hope not. what do u expect from a husband... a lazy slob??? i hope not! what do u expect from the Relationship??? unhappiness? laziness? annoying?? irresponsible? lack of communication?? of course not!!!

so figure out what u want. and talk w/ him, ask him what he wants in a wife, a marriage, from himself. if u guys have completely different attitudes and views, u are in for a ROCKY relationship. =T guaranteed. if u feel that u both are willing and able to Learn and Grow *with* eachother, it is worth it to stay and work it out. but u have to keep yourselves, and eachother, accountable to the expectations u Share for the marriage. it sounds like work, and it is! but u know what.. a relationship Should take work, and you should Enjoy working on ur marriage. it is So worth it! it is your life! why shouldn't it be Successful, and give you a sense of Achievement?

however, if u are on different wavelengths, he doesn't want to change, and u are doing everything to make him happy and he is just taking advantage, u have a huge problem. he doesn't respect you. he doesn't care enough to do what is Good for you, and for the releationship. is that really the kind of life u want for yourself? does HE really think u don't deserve to be treated better?? =T think about it..if he doens't think u deserve the best, u are with the Wrong guy.

he can change..but he has to want to. and u can't force him to, u can't withold sex and make him change, cuz it's only for the Sex then, and not for you. and even then, it doesn't work! =T it's more about a Mental, Emotional Connection..when that is a positive, healthy, growing thing, the Physical (sex) will be even more meaningful. but w/o the Mental Emotional thing, the sex turns into another "slave" work that you end up doing. that is not good..not healthy. try hard to communicate..if u can work together, u are going to be able to get thru anything. if u can't, then u are in for a rough future, if u don't do anything about it. goodl uck~

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Well, this is what I would do. I would not take the dishes from his hand let him at least put them in the sink. Do the house work but that is it. About the sex, don't stop because he will get it else were. Tell him that you are his wife not his made, and you surely would not mine one for you self with all the work you have to do. I don't know if is to late for him to change, but you change for doing less for him, hes not a baby hes a grown man. Maybe he will get the point.

Answer 4

WHat you need to do is just stop it!!Dont pick up after him and quit being his servant.STop washing his clothes dont pick up his things and when you cook just cook for you,pick up your stuff and clean your messes but leave everything he touches alone and by not cooking him dinner ohh that will kill him and dont wash his clothes cause that will kill hin as well and he will be like why arent you doing my clothes or picking up after me or even cooking for me and you can say is cause i told you im done i work and im not coming home to wait on you hand and foot!YOur a grown boy and your going to start helping me out around here and this way either you pick up your clothes wash them or wear dirty clothes and pick up your messes or you can live in filth and until yo do these things im not even going to cook you anything since you do nothing all day here you should have the energy to cook yourself something to eat!Maybe this way i can get some help from you finally,It may be the hard way he has to learn but id let him know its going to be the only way!I had a boyfriend like yours once and i was soo sick of his lazy butt never doing anything just leaving messes where ever he went no matter how hard i cleaned soon as he would get home it looked like i never touched the place so i just started taking his dirty dishes trash clothes and id pile them up on his side of the bed and all around his area of the room and if he wanted to go to sleep he would have to throw the things away and put up the stuff i even put all this stuff in his truck cause i told him he likes looking at the trash and filth at home then he can take it with him when he goes and admire it when he works believe me it didnt last long he started picking up stuff esp when i quit cooking supper that got him the most!!So i wish ya luck and i know how ya feel hopefully he will change for the better and im sure he will if you put your foot down and stand to your ground!!

Answer 5

Ask, ask, ask! Then thank him! Or how about saying this," Babe, can you take the trash out and I will put a new bag in the trash?" Or "Hon, do you want to wash or dry the dishes?" Or "If you fold the towels, I will fold the rest of the laundry." And when he is doing something, like mowing the lawn or washing the car, offer to help him. You will soon find that its so much faster and fun to work together to get things done.

Answer 6

Don't do the dishes. don't clean up the house and don't take the trash out! You need to go on strike and his @ss will see that it was nice to have someone care. He can either chip in or pay to have it done. Hope he works or this is all your fault litereally!

Answer 7

What is your situation? Do you both work? Does he work more than you? Sounds like he'll try and get away with as much as you will allow him. Talk to him and ask him to do some small things. If he works a lot and makes good money - just hire a maid. It'll take a strain off of both of you.

Answer 8

you gotta find a way to enforce it positively and give him ecouragement. Like for example, say "hey if you wash the dishes i'll cook in this sexy outfit for you" and tease him by just letting him see part of it. maybe you can ecourage him like that. or.... you could always just nag and nag and nag and nag........(that's a joke, don't do that!!) or try this book "The Five Languages of Love." by Gary Chapman You can talk to him about his attitude with the chores, but don't accuse and don't lecture. just let him know how you feel and that you will feel like you guys are treating each other with respect and fairness in your marriage. you gotta ecourage him, not nag at him....

Answer 9

well u need to hold back sex and food and doing his laundry.. that should work.. did u know about this before u married him? have u discussed this w/him?

u need to continue to hold out on him for everything until he gets it together.. u've only been married for 2 mos and already drama....

let him know u mean business...

Answer 10

Just tell him that in marriage it is 50/50. He needs to do his share as well. Pick each of your chores, days to do them, and put each of your chore lists on the fridge. This way you won't keep nagging him to do extra stuff and he won't think you are nagging him to do extra stuff!!!!

Hope that works......