my boyfriend and i have been together for over 2 years, living together for over 1...anytime he hears the word marriage...he shakes and runs away...now im not saying i want to jump on the wagon and get married now but id like to in the furture...his parents are divorced and he only talks to his dad maybe twice a year, so i can understand thats why he's scared. But it really hurts my feelings when he laughs at, me or others when marriage is brought up, basically he says that he's happy how things are now...i am to but i want that security of knowing its going to happen someday...he's 22 and i'll be 22 in oct...is this normal for a guy this age to act like that or should i plan on dying single???
2006-08-25 06:18:15 · 14 answers · asked by sassy2sloppy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he says he wants to spend his life with me, but not get married...now in my eyes, you live with the person your stuck with that person
2006-08-25 06:22:53 · update #1
i never bring it up, just give mean looks when he says something about a married couple on tv....i gave up on that when he flat out said he wont marry me
2006-08-25 06:28:47 · update #2
Robert* - he's not using me, that guy would do anything for me...like i said it can understand because of the divorce and all...
2006-08-25 06:35:39 · update #3
hey c'mon, chill!!
You are 21 now...take it slow, don't get married too soon to regret it later for not being committed to your MARRIAGE enough...and i mean both of you...
and not too late to regret not marrying either...i guess you can give him time till he's 25 to know and sort out his thoughts, but if he still thinks the same way as he does now, you have to tell him how its making you feel...
It sounds as if you really love him, so stick with him, maybe i should tell you to find someone else and then he'll see how much you mean to him, but I don't think you should let go of him if you really do love him.
Talk with him now making things clear so neither of you are living in an illusion.
2006-08-25 06:27:31 · answer #1 · answered by Myth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi-
I have been married before. We had been married for three years before he started cheating, and during those three years we were pretty happy.
I can tell you that being married and living with a guy is no different. There is no magical spell you both fall under (how I really wish that were so). If his parents are divorced, he has probably seen what happens to a family when a marriage is annulled. If you both love each other, you will stay together. I have seen too many marriages where the two are completely unhappy but they stay together because they are married.
2006-08-25 06:25:25 · answer #2 · answered by scornell_7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, I have a few opinions on this one first is he really needs to get over it most men will take the current living together circumstance instead of marridge. My bf was marridge shy and ring shy if I saw an engagement ring he went into a seizure and fell on the floor, at first it was funny but 2 1/2 yrs into it it's not funny anymore. I sat down and had a serious conversation with him and told him if all he wanted was a gf and not a wife and a future than he had to move on because that is my ultimate goal to find someone who wants a commitment and honor it with me for the rest of our lives. We broke up and it was hard but I did my thing and him his. He called me about two weeks later saying he was at a party and all these "little Girls" were there and that was not what he wanted out of life he was ready for a commitment. needless to say we have our ups and downs like everyone else but he bought me a promise cladaugh ring and we are headed towards a life together. Some times you just have to push the issue and sometimes the results aren't what you hope for but that just opens another door for opportunity!! Good luck Sweetie
2006-08-25 06:38:15 · answer #3 · answered by daack7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, this is normal...he's only 22. My guy didn't propose to me until after 7 years of being together...he was 25. I found that once I stopped talking about marriage, he starting thinking about it. It's easier when the pressure is off. Also, I have some girlfriends that moved in with their boyfriends when they were young and never got engaged!!! Why...cuz they already live together and it's like being married...why spend the money on a wedding? Just something to think about.
2006-08-25 06:24:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just ask him if he wants to get married someday, i've been married for 6 yrs married at age 17, i would of loved to do what you guys are doing, just living together, to see how things are going. Even if u did become single, you will find someone else.
2006-08-25 06:24:15 · answer #5 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
furst thing first ... you are 22 yrs old - you will meet others IF this does not work out.
Also he might be 22 yrs old and need some time ot grow up and realize you are the one but he is showing NO compassion for your feeling whn he laughs at you AFTER you have told him how you feel.
Seems he needs to think on how he makes you feel and you need to think is he truely worth your time ?
You need ot make him HEAR youer feelings and understand how it hurts you when he does that and if he does not show more compassion towardsyou and your feeling , that is your answer
2006-08-25 06:33:07 · answer #6 · answered by Glenn T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It hasn't been that long really. My husband & I were together 11 yrs. & had a 5 yr. old before we got married. If it's meant to be, it will happen. Just don't bring it up anymore. You might scare him away. Give him his time...
2006-08-25 06:25:41 · answer #7 · answered by duwin15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Completely normal , at 22 don't even suggest marriage . Apparently he is not the one anyway.If he was , he and you would have known it immediately.I am sure almost all married people out there would agree w/ this.
Just have fun w/him and someday your prince will come.Trust me on this.
2006-08-25 06:23:16 · answer #8 · answered by suiki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's very immature... It's probably "normal" for a guy his age (as normal as immaturity can be), but you have to realise that there's no guarantee that he will "grow up"; it's your choice to stick with him, but be realistic about the future, he may never be "ready" to have a real family.
2006-08-25 06:58:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're still very young. You've got plenty of time.
If he still acts this way when he's 25, or 30, you've got a problem there.
2006-08-25 06:23:33 · answer #10 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋