should i ask her
2006-08-25 06:12:23 · 36 answers · asked by Ray 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
My opinion on this, is that you should ask her...BUT...I think you should give her a chance to tell you first. Take her aside where you can be alone, and say something like...."I just wanted to ask you something. Are you doing okay? Is there anything wrong? Because I've noticed (this or that) and you're my daughter, and I worry." If she tells you nothing is wrong, keep pushing. Tell her "You know I love you, and you can tell me anything, right? If you have a problem, I know it's hard to understand this...but I've been on this earth for (however many years) and I have experienced a lot of things. You may not believe it, but I've been your age and I can help if you just tell me what's wrong."
If she still won't tell you, come right out and ask. BE PREPARED though. If she is pregnant, she's probably terrified so do your best NOT to freak out. Nothing good can come from freaking out. If she's pregnant, she wants to tell you. She wants to tell someone who can help her without criticizing her because she's probably slammed herself more than you ever could. I know you're concerned and I don't mean to imply that you WOULD slam her, or freak out...but a lot of parents would, so I just thought I'd throw that in there. Good luck!
2006-08-25 06:24:59 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, do not ask her if she is pregnant or she may get very mad and upset with you for thinking she was.
If I was in your position I would sit her down and tell her you need to talk to her about some things.
First off, tell her she can tell you anything no matter what it is. Let her know, that yes, you may be mad at first but would get over it and work through anything with her. She is your baby girl and you love her unconditionally.
After you have your little talk with her then ask her calmly if she has anything she needs to tell you or needs to talk about.
NOW, if she doesn't confide in you and after a couple of weeks you see some changes in her body that would lead you to still think she was pregnant, then I would take the next step and sit her down and ask her if she is pregnant or sexually active. If she is active you need to get her on birth control right away. The best birth control would be an IUD so she wouldn't have to worry about it. Birth control pills are sometimes forgotten and then pregnancy would be inevitable.
Before you ask her if she is pregnant, maybe you should go to the store and get a pregnancy test and just put it away so if it does come out that there is a possibility then you can go ahead and have her take the test.
Good luck
2006-08-25 06:23:31 · answer #2 · answered by Tired-Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have an open honest relationship with her, then you should have no problem asking her. If she thinks you are going to get angry with her, then she may not want to talk about it. But if she were my daughter, I would broach the subject carefully, but with compassion & concern. I would ask in a non-judgemental way, showing her with my actions & tone of voice that I care for HER health & safety, and I would let her know that I am here for HER, and that she can share anything with me & I will understand. If possible, I would try to take her hand & comfort her while I asked her if she might be pregnant. I would let her know how much I love her & the reason I'm asking, and then when I found out the answer, I would talk with her about her feelings on the subject. If she's not sure, I would ask her if "we" or "I" could go to the store & get a pregnancy test, and we could find out together. Just assure her that you love her. That's the biggest gift you can give her. She should respond to your kindness & regard for HER. I hope I have helped you in any way, & I wish you a great talk with your daughter. GOD Bless,
2006-08-25 06:39:39 · answer #3 · answered by Carrie M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you think your daughter may be pregnant? I'm truly sorry for you...been there. It wasn't that my daughter was unsupervised as other answers suggested...she was raped at 14 and was too scared to tell. I would buy a home pregnancy test because once you take her to the doctor you no longer are in the loop. In Washington state the doctors won't tell you anything, including whether or not she is pregnant or has an STD. They won't even allow you in the room for the exam. So, if she is, brace yourself, and look for support for both of you. Best wishes.
2006-08-25 06:31:11 · answer #4 · answered by honneebee68 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! Find a quiet place where there aren't distractions. Come to her in the right nature. Yelling and ranting aren't going to get you anywhere. But don't be judgmental or condescending in nature. Instead engage her, after all she's the one pregnant. Listen to what she has to say and then offer the best advice possible. Ask her why she think she think she started to have sex to begin with. Let her know that it's going to be hard not only for you, but for her. Let her know the responsibilites that lie ahead if she chooses to keep the baby. (Also buy a pregnanct kit just to make sure!) And you may be surprised to learn that she's not pregnant, but rather a busy bubbling girl.
2006-08-26 04:54:41 · answer #5 · answered by ((((only time will tell)))) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i think you should ask her but always keep the tone calm and give her reassurance while she is talking to you!
I understand 14 is a young age to be pregnant and you might be mad with her, but you don't know the situation your daughter is in, she would be terrified herself and she may be too scared to talk to you!
This is the same situation that my niece was in she was only 15 and she told me first as we have a great relationship but she wouldn't tell her mum as she was terrified of her and what she would do, when she did my sister (her mum) hit her and screamed and shouted and my niece felt worse then ever! and has never let her mum know anything about what is going on with her.
My niece is due anytime soon and she has grown up so much because no1 apart from myself had faith in her!
So just stay calm and she should speak about it!
Good luck with everything!
xx
2006-08-25 07:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by Sazzle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a good relationship with her and you ask her that question then your relationship might be ruined if she is not pregnant because she might feel that you do not trust her. Arrange to take her to the doc for a general checkup. Of course you will tell the doc before hand what you are about. This is a sure way of finding out without risking your relationship with her.
2006-08-26 13:06:56 · answer #7 · answered by Coleen W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'd better find out, and fast! You can't be shy or embarrassed or worry about invading privacy of a girl that age when it's a major life crisis and health issue. You'll have to make her feel comfortable and safe talking about it. Let her do a home pregnancy test so she doesn't have to face a doctor right off. If she's pregnant, take her to someone to talk about what she should do next. Don't wait another minute.
2006-08-25 06:18:26 · answer #8 · answered by wynterwood 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes and then start looking at where have you been that a 14 yr old girl got pregnant. Sorry but I feel strongly that someone that young has been given to much freedom to be able to get pregnant
plus this might open a dialogue for safe sex that SHE NEEDS
2006-08-25 06:15:49 · answer #9 · answered by wilowdreams 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get her to a doctor for a test. Then you need to have a look at your life, How did a 14 yr. old get pregnant in the first place.
2006-08-25 06:18:44 · answer #10 · answered by usserydog 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋