What should i do?

Question

i've been married for 2 1/2 months now, but my husband doesn't always treat me like i'm his wife. most of the time he treats me like i'm just "one of the guys" whichs really bothers me. but no matter how many times i try to tell him, he doesn't listen to me. while i was at work, i became really good friends with another guy and we've been getting along great. and he treats me like i'm his girlfriend, even thought he knows that i'm married. i'm starting to really like this other guy because i feel safer with him and he makes me feel like i matter to him all the time. my husband only seems to notice me when he wants to. and latly he's been too busy with work to notice.

so i don't know if i should divorce my husband and get together with the other guy? i still love my husband, but not like i used to love him, not like a wife should love her husband.

please help me. i need some advice on what i should do. please....thanx.

Answer 1

get an annulment from your husband.

Answer 2

I am wondering....was your husband this way before you married him? If he was, then why did you marry him? You wont change him you know. If he has changed since your marriage, and its only been such a short while, then it didnt take him long to start taking you for granted.

You have told him how you feel, and he doesnt care, so it is obvious to me he is taking your marriage for granted a lot.

If he has always been this way and now you want him to be different, then you need to take responsibility for your own choices. You accepted him this way when you were girlfriend and boyfriend and now you are expecting him to change. Marriage does not change a persons basic personality, and you should have thought about this before you got married. If he has always been this way and now you are telling him how you are feeling, I think youve left it a little bit too late. This should have been discussed before you were married.

If he has only recently changed after being married, then there is a real problem. You have only been married for such a short time....there is an adjustment period for every married couple. Give it a little more time before you make a decision to leave your husband. Why did you marry him 2 and a half months ago? I dont believe a man can change that much in such a short time, and how can you lose love for him in such a short time either.

Sounds to me like this marriage should never have happened if you can start to have feelings for another man so soon after you got married. I guess, you can wait and see if you want to be with your husband, but it may be better to just realise you made a mistake and get out of it before it gets worse. Your husband obviously is not what you want. You dont like the way he is. He is probably confused because this was the man you married and you were happy enough with him to marry him...Now you want him to change? Uh Uh, you have a lot of soul searching to do and work out whether the problem is with your husband or with you.

Answer 3

I think you just need some attention from your husband. I know how you feel. I use to feel the same way. Just be honest with your husband and tell him that someone else is paying more attention to you than he is and you need him to start showing you more affection. You shouldn't ever divorce someone so that you can be with someone else. Because, let me tell ya, honey, the grass is not greener on the other side! That's for sure. Don't just give up on your husband, warn him first, and if he don't listen to you, maybe you should separate for a while, and I'm sure that when you're gone, he'll notice, then. Good luck! Hang in there.

Answer 4

FIRST OFF... DONT CHEAT... No guy wants to be with a girl who has cheated before because ONCE a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater... its a fact. So if you are planning on a divorce, DO the divorce before hooking up with anyone else... Try talking to your husband again, tell him how unhappy you are and need to have more affection, tell him that you are having doubts about the marriage and really need to work this out, or write it off as a bad idea and move on.

Answer 5

I surmise you are a young bride. Getting married before the age of 30 is a step in the wrong direction. But, regardless, your husband is likely still a "boy" and not mature like you would want your "husband" to be. One's spouse should be like an oasis, a safe refuge, a good place to be. Your husband is not this. Stand up for yourself and tell the dip to get right with God, i.e., get his act together. This situation is b.s. And for heaven's sake, do not fall into the trap your "friend" is laying (no pun intended) for you. This jerk, knowing you are a married lady, still wants to de-flower you. There are ***** (no pun intended) like this in most large offices, factories, etc. Do not demean yourself. Your husband is doing a good job of that already. But you remain true to the marriage vows, little lady. Be someone's role model. Make somone proud of you. Do it for your self-esteem and mental health.

Answer 6

and what does your husband think of all this? have you bothered to tell him how you feel about the way things are going between you? how do you feel safer with a stranger than you do the man that you swore to love and honor and cherish? sounds like you are making excuses to have an affair before the marriage had a chance.

wake up and smell the coffee. either you are wanting to cheat or you have no communication with your husband. sounds to me that your husband got the short end of the stick.

Answer 7

Don't divorce your husband just yet. When you tell him that you're unhappy, also explain that you love him, but that your love is getting over shadowed by the confusion of if you're his wife or his buddy. Let him know that as a woman, you need to feel loved, desired, protected, blah blah blah and that in time, you may be tempted to look elsewhere for this if he can't come through.

Don't threaten, but maybe he needs to be hit over the head with the reality of your feelings since he hasn't gotten it with your previous conversations.

Also, try not to blame, no one responds well to that. Just let him know what you need.

Good Luck.

Answer 8

maybe you like this other guy a lot because f the way your husband treats you... talk to him in a serious way... try anything you could.. tell him the way you feel.. even go to couple therapy... try anything and everything t work out the relationship.. don't give up so easily..you may feel very stongly about this guy but it may all change after you get divorce and it wouldn't have benn worth it... when you absolutely tried with your husband then you talk to him about divorce..good luck

Answer 9

Wow 2 and 1/2 WHOLE months....something tells me you should not have gotten married?
What does it mean that he treats you like one of the guys? He tells you everything, hangs out with you etc? Not sure what the hell you are talking about. Oh, and the guy who treats you like a girlfriend even though you have just gotten married should be shot...what a weenie, but...it sounds like you want the attention.

Answer 10

Fix what you have there are many marriages that wish they only had that problem to deal with.Teach him what you need show him what makes you happy and feel respected.Tell him that you desire to be treated like a woman and not like one of his buddies.If he doesn't listen them some type of marriage counsiling would help talk to a Pastor or someone who can help.He needs to know how to treat a lady and how to respect his wife.He wouldn't feel good if you treated him like one of the girls.Just stress it as much as possible and tell him if he doesn't respond you will seek counsiling for you both because you want the marriage to work.Best Wishes!!

Answer 11

Your husband of only a very short time is taking you for granted.
It isn't going to get better. You need marriage counselling. If he refuses I would tell him you will not continue in the marriage otherwise and are not going to spend the rest of your life being "one of the guys" because you are not one of the guys and it is high time he realized it. If he loves and values you he will take action. If not... Oh, well...what does he expect?