I was seperated from my wife for 3 years. We have 2 kids. After the 3rd year, I wanted a divorce. Well, I get the impression that when she saw I was ready to leave, she came running back. Now she wants to be with me. My feelings have changed. I am VERY easy to get along with but I just don't feel the same about her. She is very pretty and nice but I have changed. I also became friends with some other women. While I never became a boyfriend to any of those women, they were all very sweet and all wanted more with me. One girl in will ALWAYS be in my heart. So now I am this weird person with my wife. I am distant and always hoping her boyfriend comes back. I am sending her to school and hope she can become finacially independant and not need me, but she will be in school for 6 years. Is this situation unhealthy? We don't realy fight. We do have great sex! But I am not into her anymore. Should I stay in this relationship? I dont have any secret lovers. I feel like I just want my freedom.
2006-08-25 05:23:57 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave.
2006-08-25 05:27:16 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get away from her. Do not pay for school. She had a boyfriend, don't be a door mat. she is using you. You don't love her anymore. If you have money hid it. if you live in a big house sell it and rent a small one. this way if you get screwed in divorce court she won't get everything. Some states don't even give women alimony. She diserves nothing. You are in a very unhealthy relationship, heck you aren't even in a relationship. Why should you care if she has a carreer or an education. She is so selfish that she got a boyfriend while she was still married to you. She is using you. Let her boyfriend pay for her. Take the kids so she will have to pay you child support. I'm very agree to hear about your wife. I'm ashamed of women like her.
2006-08-25 05:34:00 · answer #2 · answered by NANCY J 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why did you seperate in the first place? Use that to help you also. But no its not healthy. You should NOT stay. You dont love her anymore so...forget her. Youve oviously changed and are practically wishing her away so tell her how you really feel and leave. Just help her with the kids financially , she can take care of herself. She can get a roommate or something. the newspaper has lots of ads of people needing a roomate. take care.
2006-08-25 05:35:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are just full of it. If you were separated for 3 years, that means YOU did not want to divorce.
You did not mention whether she left you or whether you left her.
But since you mention that she "came running back", I assume that she left you. If you are so easy to get along with, why did she leave you in the first place?
You mention that you had relationships with other women, and that they "all wanted more" with you. That means that you feel did not develop those relationships as much as the women wanted, because you wanted to be with your wife.
I think you may be secretly angry with your wife for having left you, and you are letting that harbored resentment get in the way of your recovery from being jilted. After all, you thought it was important to say that you have great sex.
You should discuss your fears and concerns with your wife directly.
2006-08-25 05:35:10 · answer #4 · answered by Debra C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Three years?? Man, your marriage is so over. You both need to go to a professional counselor for advice. It would be great if you could both stay together for your children but after three years apart, the damage is done. And YES, sex with your (soon to be)ex is like playing with a live snake. STOP. There are all kinds of legal aspects to doing this also. Trust me, no matter how sweet she is now when the 'D' word sinks in she will turn into a monster from a hell you cannot imagine.
2006-08-25 05:31:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That depends on why you guys seperated in the first place. Honestly, I don't think that you're a commitment type of guy, you're too much into your freedom. That is one thing that seperation shows us, it shows us how much bondage and lack of freedom we have once we get married and we get selfish and self-absorbed. You've tasted the fruit and now you just want more - seperation's never a good idea. So for her sake, she's probably better off without you.
2006-08-25 05:30:05 · answer #6 · answered by Emi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you just want your freedom, you should do what you can to go through with divorce. Living with her and having sex with her and leading her on is just going to hurt her more.
It sounds like you have already decided that you do NOT want to be with this woman, and if that is truly your decision, then you need to act on it, instead of leaving the relationship in limbo.
I know she is financially dependent on you, but I'm sure she is capable of going to school and working at the same time...plenty of people do this. You will probably be legally responsible for some of her bills if you divorce, but you are paying them now anyway. It is worth it for your freedom, and your happiness....and for her peace of mind.
2006-08-25 05:28:48 · answer #7 · answered by alliekittie18 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no right or wrong answer.... change happens. Our culture stresses being "in love" so much over understanding that love is a verb. You choose to love. It is active -- not passive.
You must search your soul. I would suggest to you what I have suggested to others contemplating this.
Check to see if you have a retrouvaille program near you. Attend the program with your wife and see what comes of that.
It is important to carefully consider where you are going when you have children. Do everything you BOTH can to reestablish your marriage before you finally walk away.
best,
cez
2006-08-25 05:33:46 · answer #8 · answered by cezzium 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's totally unfair to both of you for you to stay in this relationship. You don't really want to be there - it's clear your feelings have changed. You both have to get out now so you can find a good relationship that you do want to be in. You have to move on with your life - don't wait because you will regret the lost years later on.
2006-08-25 05:42:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you not into her anymore, why are you still having sex with her? School for 6 years, she can get a certificate within a six months!! that would allow her to be financially free of you.
Be a man sit down and talk with her HONESTLY, if you not into her anymore move out, and put yourself on child support, and live your life....whatever you decide to do, by having sexual relations with her your drawing the process out LONGER!!!
2006-08-25 05:31:44 · answer #10 · answered by voluptoustaureanfemale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea well,
sometimes we make right decisions
and sometimes we need to make the decision right
you have 2 kids together, and everything else seems good except you wanting to feel needed by other females, maybe.
stat married...treat your wife with the same vigor and respect and high funfilled energy you put into your other female friends...you may be amazed at how much happier and healthier your marriage will be and your kids deserve the best of both parents.
good luck
:-)
2006-08-25 05:33:26 · answer #11 · answered by wutta-croc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋