Am I being paranoid or is this true?

Question

I see posts on here like “How to get a six year old to clean their room” or “How to get my eighteen month off the bottle” and I’m not trying to criticize these parents but couldn’t these be avoided in the earlier stages? Like the title says…am I just paranoid for doing things a certain way with my son to make it so I don’t have to deal with these issues later on? My son is six months and I let him watch me clean and I keep a clean house (even though sometimes I don’t feel like doing it) so that he understands even at an early age that’s what I expect. I’ve had a routine since he was born so he knows exactly what time he is expected to go to bed. I’m currently getting him off the bottle so it won’t be an issue when he really can acknowledge it. I figure that’s my responsibility and I find that my parenting technique is very much looking forward to what kind of a person he will be so these problems don’t happen to me. So are these steps I’m taking going to help me achieve what I want or not? And for the parent who have had these problems (other than potty training) do you feel there is something you could have done differently to avoid them? Again, I’m not trying to offend anyone and I do know everyone parents differently but I was just wondering…

I forgot to write my son is six months! And thank you for your opinions and answers!

You know what...people on here are rude! I wasn't looking for someone to say I was a good mom I was asking if problems can be avoided. Yes I am looking out for my son and my son has a great time it's not like all he does is watch me clean. I got in the habit this early so that I would continue doing this the older he got. I am a first time mom and I was just asking a question. Why does everyone jump on me like I'm a horrible person. He plays at the park, plays with his toys...etc. I only got one good answer that was polite. I just can't believe this!

I also want to add: He isn't completely off the bottle. I started that early so he isn't heartbroken when his bottle is taken away. I'm trying to ease him into things. My doctor said to start weening him now so he can be off when he needs to be.

Answer 1

I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to set an example for your children. Actually that's how children learn the most. It takes a lot of discipline to teach your child good habbits because you have to be consistant. I believe that's why there are so many brats - because their parents are too lazy to discipline or set a good example for their children.
You certainly can start teaching your son how to drink from a cup. A word of advice, sippy cups aren't different from a bottle, so if you're going to teach him, use a real cup - preferrably a small cup that fits their mouth and one you can see thru to make sure he doesn't get too much at once.
I too like to keep a clean house. That's not to say I don't ever let my guard down and let a chore go now and then to spend time with my daughter. I work full time, so my time with her is valuable to me. She is 14 months now. I have been incorporating little things into her routine to help teach her to help clean up. For instance, I have a small mesh bag I keep her bath toys in and when her bath is done, we make a game out of putting her toys away in the mesh bag. She also watches me put her toys away before bed (sometimes she helps, other times she takes them out as soon as I put them away), but I do it to show her we put things in their place and it tells her that playtime is over and it's time to settle down for bed.
Routine and discipline are very important for children. Routine helps them feel safe and discipline shows them that you love them. Before I get a bunch of people going off about discipline showing love - that simply means that teaching them to do what's right and not wrong shows that you only want the best for them - and that is love.
Good luck with your son!

Answer 2

My son was on the bottle until he was 15 months old which an age that his doctor said would be fine. He was off the pacie by the time he was a year old. My son saw me clean the house but he has never just sat there and watched me do it. Now he is going to be three in nov. and he loves his sippy cup helps mommy clean all the time I'm 7 months pregnant and he comes up to me and ask me if I need help getting off the couch, rubs my back "it's actually really cute" and knows how to put his toys away. Just so you know you shouldn't give your child more than about 4 oz. of any kind of liquid in his cup. " if that's what your giving him when it's not the bottle" B/C they are suppose to only really be depending on the formula or breastmilk from that at this point in time. And I'm not trying to sound rude but you what him to know what you expect from him at an early age. Sweetie I said the same thing and my son is a good boy for the most part but oh he has him moments and no matter what the child is going to be just that a child you are going to have tempter tantrums and your going to hear, no, mine, stop it, and give me if you like it or not.

Answer 3

Children learn best by watching and by example. Animals have no language yet they all learn and behave the same less a human influence where some moron feels the need to come along and speak trying to get an animal to understand in human.

"Fluffy, don't go on the floor that's not nice." What does that mean to a puppy? A mother dog teaches by DOING and making sure the pup is there to take notice. Children know better than we do, adults are the idiots who screw them up!


Why be nice... If they're going to have children, these people should show at least SOME intelligence. and they don't.

Although I think some people honestly ask some of these questions just to be butt heads and don't even have kids. Unfortunately though, some of them are THAT stupid.

Sounds like you are doing the right thing. You are a much nicer person than I am... I believe that stupid people should be told they are stupid... It is the only kind thing to do really. I don't mind being known as the as*shole as long as you learn something from it, makes no difference to me either way.

Answer 4

Any time a parent posts about when it is time to teach a child something, some will feel that the child is too young and the parent is rushing things, or they will feel that the child is too old and the parent should have done it sooner. When children are young, it is natural to worry about their development, and whether you are keeping up with it, or delaying it, or whatever, but remember that they are the ones who are developing, and every child does this at his or her own pace. In other words, if he's throwing the bottle down and reaching for the sippy cup, fine. If he's crying because the bottle is being taken from him, no so good. Every parent does parent differently, and there is no right or wrong unless you fall into the trap of pride and begin pushing the child so that you will have something to brag about. I think that the answers given here are a great example of "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

Answer 5

A lot really has to do with the natural disposition of the child. So what may work for one may not work for another. Anyway, I’m a bit of a ‘planner’and my parenting technique plays a lot with strategy. But I’ve also resigned to the fact that things can happen despite anything I do. (Like my 2nd son’s thumbsucking…)

Cleaning -- At 6 months, watching you clean is probably just entertaining him at best. When he is older and walking, if he shows interest, let him “help” a little even if that will slow you down. He can “help” you hold the vacuum for a while, or he can have a toy vacuum of his own to use along with you.. He could wipe small spills.. They love the idea that they helped! What I did to teach him a sense of orderliness is to make the last 5 minutes of playtime into a fun clean-up time. You will do most of it at the start, but he can help put away small toys. It helps a lot if you have an organized storage system so he knows where things should be returned. It’s important that it be fun. Sing, or play a game of who can fill up a box the fastest, etc. Also, before cleanup time, I told him matter-of-factly -- Look, the room is messy. Then after the fun clean up time, you both look at the room again, and notice how neat it is now. High five! Now he appreciates why we do cleanup. And he knows that his toys are still there for his use the next day, they are just put away neatly.

Bottle – As long as you know he is still getting the correct number of ounces recommended for his age, introducing a sippy cup should be ok, and I’m sure it will avoid bottle weaning problems later on.

Tantrums -- A lot has to do with the natural disposition of the child. For my son, I was able to nip tantrums in the bud. When he neared two, and I realized that the crying fits were actually tantrums, I followed the experts’ advice and ignored him until he stopped crying. (And then gave him a big hug when eventually he did stop crying). He soon realized that crying would get him nowhere, and stopped having tantrums, except for the very occasional blow up.

Nighttime routine – yes it’s best to be consistent. When he’s older he might start to complain when you call him to bed. Specially after a long vacation when the routine goes out the door. But stick to your guns and don’t let him negotiate. Don’t think you are depriving him, young kids need 11+ hours of sleep. And he’s had fun all day. Of course, he can sleep late on special occasions.. One thing I would have changed – well actually it’s my husband’s doing – he started ‘flying’ our son above his head before bedtime. I warned him not to do it as part of the bedtime routine. Now my son is 3 yrs, and much heavier, and his dad still has to do the superman thing every night. And his baby brother sees it so I’m sure he will begin demanding it when he is older. LOL

Toothbrushing – For my first son I just used wet baby washcloths on his teeth and gums for the first few months. When I did introduce the toothbrush, he was very resistant. It took some time and experimentation on toothpaste and toothbrush characters before he could get comfortable. For my 2nd son, I introduced the toothbrush even before he had teeth. I would just massage his gums with a small amount of non-flouridated kid’s toothpaste, and laugh with him. He bought into it, and I haven’t had any problems brushing his teeth.

Eating – My sons always eat meals while sitting in their chair. I just included this because I have a lot of friends who let their kids run around while eating.

Please and thank you – I taught the concepts very early. My son could baby sign them before he could say them.

Quiet time – for you! In case you find yourself doing too many things and not having enough quality time with the baby. Sometimes just sit with your baby with nothing on your mind and just watch him be himself.

Well that’s all I can think of right now. Enjoy your baby!

Answer 6

I think it's great if you can wean him early and avoid some of the problems that arise later on. I think a lot of us don't do it then as we think it will be easier later. Sometimes it is, sometimes it's not. I have four kids and it was different with each one. There are definetly things I could have done earlier to help later and some things that, you just can't. Some of the things, I was just too soft about or didn't have the heart to take away yet. I guess I'm not really giving you a straight answer here, as I don't think there really is one. There are so many styles of parenting and so many right ones. What's great for one family may not be for the next.

Answer 7

I know what you're trying to say, and I think that yes, there are certain problems that can be mostly avoided. However, kids are different, they go through phases, and parents aren't perfect. There's no way to predict with accuracy exactly what you should do to prevent every problem. You just do the best you can, give your child lots of love and attention, and go from there.

Some examples...

My 3-year-old daughter used to be great at helping to clean up her toys, but now she protests. Yes, I still work with her to get her to help, but she's not the happy helper that she used to be. Since other moms of 3-year-olds have told me the same thing, then I assume it's a phase, and it will pass. She does like to help dust, vacuum, mop the floor, etc. so I have her help with those things, too. Again, I assume that she'll protest at some point, and we'll have to work through it.

As far as the bottle goes, all kids are different. While your son may be starting to transition off the bottle a bit at 6 months, and it's going well, other babies may be more attached, and it's not worth a battle to start weaning them to a sippy cup now. One thing I've learned after just 3 years of parenting is that it's important to pick my battles, and don't fight what isn't worth fighting. :-)

My older daughter weaned to just 2 nursing sessions per day fairly easily when she was a year old, but my older daughter was not ready at all. She's now 21 months and still nurses 4-8 times per day. They just have different personalities and need different things.

I think it sounds like you're doing a great job with your son so far, and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 8

First of all some of these people don't have a clue. I think what you are doing is great and you should keep up the good work by your daily routines. Second of all, babies really need off the bottle when they begin to walk. Carrying a bottle while walking really isn't appropriate. Now when my boy was 4 months old, he crawled to the garbage can and threw away his binki himself. We thought it was a joke, bought new ones, and he did it again. He decided what he wanted and what he didn't. 9 months old, he learned to walk, I got him off the bottle by 1 years of age because he didn't need formula anymore. He did just fine with it and was no problem. The hardest part I ever went through is teaching him not to crap in his pants. He liked to pee in the toilet but I could never get him to poop. I think he was about 3 1/2 when he finally did both! Now hes 6 and think hes 18! I hope this helps. You're doing a great job but remember to not rush these things though cause you need your baby and don't want him growing up too fast cause then you'll miss it!!!!

Answer 9

ha ha ha

no, you are not being paranoid

and yes, your plans are great and you need to keep doing eveything you can to prepare him and teach him all along the way

but here is the fun part

PREPARE for surprises, no matter what you do, how you teach, you will find that you have a human being there, and he will have his own ideas. Some of these problems, or some other WILL HAPPEN TO YOU, but don't fear, you will take it in stride, you will enjoy it

when, at the age of 5 years old, the formerly tractable child suddenly REFUSES to go to bed, in spite of all your excellent techniques, you will not dispair, you will just keep on parenting and eventually raise a fine young man (and when the police call and say they have him there at the station and he had been picked up along with some other kids who had always been "good" kids but there was alcohol and some were underaged you will just keep on parenting)

and based on your interest and your hard work and your care, you will be very happy with your child and much joy and as he grows more happiness than you can imagine (and many surprises that you won't necessarily like)

good luck

Answer 10

Wow, you need to relax and enjoy your baby. Lots of love and attention is all they need right now. Don't even entertain the thought of when to take the baby off the bottle until he/she is at least 1 yr old. Every child is different, my daughters disposition is the exact opposite of my sons, sleep habits, eating, all different from each other. Your child is not at an age yet where he understand your intentions. In his world, he craves stimulation and comfort, that's it. Stimulation and comfort come in many forms, I'm sure you have learned what most of those are but most first time parents aren't all that bright, myself included. Talk to your friends who are in similar situations and ask questions. Even the simplest things may not seem obvious. At six months, he need a nap after about 2-3 hours of being awake. Sleep is the most important thing to a healthy happy well fed baby. Recognize the signs before he is overtired. Routine is fine but keep in mind that the needs outweigh the schedule.

As he gets older children will push the limits to find where the boundaries are, it's your job to be their parent first, then their friend second.