I feel pressured to have a threesome?

Question

I love my boyfriend to death. We have been together for 7 years. He always bugs me about having a threesome. In truth I am bi-curious. I have made out with a couple of girls before but thats to the extent of it. The topic isn't really out of the question. I'm just scared about the boundaries and issues that might come out of it. I'm attractive enough I guess without coming off to conceited but I don't know what to do. I want to give him this because I am kind of interested as well but I hate how it's always a topic of conversation.

Answer 1

In my opinion this situation takes a very strong relationship and a lot of talking before you proceed. Is what you need to do is sit down with your boyfriend and set some ground rules that you both agree on. Then once you make out your ground rules you need to decide on who you are going to get to join in on your three-some. You have to understand something, the both of you are going to have to agree on the person not just one of you deciding. Then you have to make sure the person you both decide on is willing to go along with this and is comfortable with it also. Once you get that all taken care of then you can take care of the rest. Just remember if you still have any doubts about it don't do it. It sounds like being together for 7 years you have a very strong relationship that will last through anything, so don't do anything that you both will regret.

Answer 2

A threesome is a tricky one to decide on. You should never do it unless your 100% sure its what you want to do. Just cause your bi-curious doesn't mean its the right thing to do.

What if it all goes wrong or your boyfriend wants to make it a regualr thing, could you handle that? If not then he should love you enough to respect your decision. If you feel your relationship can withstand anything then give it a go. But if you this unsure then I would say deep down you don't want to.

Some fantasies are just that fantasies and should stay that way.

No one can make the decision for you, only you can decide. Talk about your worries with your boyfriend and think really hard about what you really want to do.

Answer 3

The reason it is always a topic of conversation is ,I think, because most people don't realize that sex means different things to many people. It is a form of communication, an expression of love, or it can be play-time. I feel a threesome is nothing more than play-time sex. Decide what you want to do and go for it. The important thing is that you and your partner(s) are "speaking the same language" that is in it for the same reason.

PS: If one person loves another they wouldn't presser the other to do anything they are uncomfortable with, especially with sex.

Answer 4

honestly, thats like bringing a third person into your relationship and thats that. It will never be just you two again. Even if he says it wont happen, it will naturally on its own because you are both being intimate with that other person. She will be something new to him which is good for him, and he will start to like her toooo. Also, this is just another way of saying I want to sleep with other girls, except you know about it. Your relationship will not be stable anymore. I dont see how it can be after him asking you for a threesome. Thats practically saying I want to sleep with someone else, and I'll include you so you dont get mad, and because its convenience since you are bi.

Answer 5

If you ever decide to have a threesome do it because its something the both of you agree to and because you want it not because you feel pressured into it. If you wind up doing it and you really didn't want to it might cause some very serious problems in your relationship. If this guy truly loves you he will back off and let you make the decision in your own time.

Answer 6

You better make sure that you set the rules first. Make sure that your third party, another girl I assume, is NOT a close friend of either of yours. Preferably, it should be a one night stand that neither of you will ever see again. Now, since let's face it, this is mainly for him, this is where your rules come in.
You are going to have to decide on how much emotionally you are going to be able to take. How are you going to feel seeing your man kissing this other woman sensually? What areas are off limits, if any? You have to make sure you are going to be able to handle seeing him doing these things with her and her with him and still be able to enjoy yourself remember.
After you take all of these things into consideration, not to mention the safe sex part of course, and then think you can still go through with it and be able to continue on with your relationship as usual with you b/f the days and weeks after. Then you will have your answer.
If you decide no, you can't handle the emotional "sharing", then explain that to your b/f and he should give you credit for putting that much thought into it for him and then drop the subject forever. If he does not, let him go have his threesome and you go find yourself a nice, new single to plays doubles with so you don't waste another minute with someone who won't respect you on such matters!

Answer 7

I really just dont understand how so many girls seem to be ok with this request. How many of these guys would allow another man to come into the bed ? I think the whole idea is nuts. Whats the point of being in a committed relationship ? If my guy even asked me this question once he would be gone.

Answer 8

WELL..I had the same problem.Let me tell you first hand it is not worth it .If you love someone you are faithful to them.I think the reason these things happen goes back to the beggining back to Adam and Eve.We all have these things happen it's a test of our Faith.Love is hard to find now days and comes once in a life time so stick with who you got and stay Faithful.

Answer 9

as a guy, i say let's do it! but most guys have the double standard of only wanting a threesome with two girls and a guy. tell him you will do it with two guys and a girl if he's willing then two girls and a guy. if he says no to the first scenario, then his motives are truly selfish and he has no thought of pleasing you but only himself. if he is willing then you would know that he really cares about you and you would not have any worries about him "wanting" the other girl more than you! and then you could just say never mind about the 3-way with two guys (unless you really wanted that too!) and give him his desires and your fantasy without any worries or regrets!

Answer 10

I heard stories about people having threesomes and then the person who wanted it wound up seeing the third person involved on the side. Think carefully before jumping into this one.