I met the guy of my dreams (or so i thought) when I was about to get married. At that time I had been through many bad relationships and believed the person I was going to marry was the one for me. But then this other guy came along and even though i never wanted it, I got into a relationship with him. I couldnt stop my marriage from happening and I thought somehow it wud work..but it never did. I could never forget the guy I had an affair with. I want to forget about him because it is ruining my marriage, and because I know I probably dont have any future with him. But i cant forget him no matter how hard I try. I dont know what to do in order to forget the other guy so that I can make my marriage better. He is always on my mind 24/7 and I have tried so hard not to think of him. I dont know what to do to forget him.
2006-08-25 04:44:16 · 8 answers · asked by WantToForget 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Its been over 4 years since I have been trying to forget him. Initially I did beleive time would heal all, but now I am not so sure. Am i obsessed? Or crazy?
2006-08-25 04:54:08 · update #1
I did tell my husband about all this. Yes it was a mistake for me to get into the marriage but at that time I didnt know what to do and thought I would forget about the other guy. My husband is a great guy and I want to be with him, but I dont know how to forget and its making us both miserable. If I was single, I dont know what I would do. I dont have it in me to go find someone new, and i dont even want to do that.
2006-08-25 04:56:54 · update #2
We have tried counselling, both as a couple and by myself too. It never worked. Most of the counsellors i went to said I should get a divorce. Yes my husband and I dont really share much in common, but he is a wonderful man, he truly is. I want to make our marriage work, but I dont know how to forget. I even tried to commit suicide once, but I realised then that was a very big mistake only because of how upset my loved ones were, I would never do that again.
2006-08-25 05:06:27 · update #3
The only way to forget one love is to replace him with a new love. In your case I would like to suggest your trying to find what you originally fell in love with in your husband.
First off, if you have anything at all from the other guy, get rid of it. That means pictures, gifts of any type, phone numbers whatever. All of it gone! Next, start doing little romantic things for your husband like you would have done when you were first dating. He is, after all, the man you vowed to honor and cherish, so it's time the poor guy got some cherishing.
If you find it hard to bring back the "zing" into your marriage, there is always the one thing that always can bring a woman back around to her man. Jealousy. Take him out to a club or wherever there will be plenty of other women and give him enough space so that others may approach. Nothing gets those old feelings back like that green eyed monster and while this may sound like a strange, juvenile game, it is but unfortunately you did something drastic to end your marriage before it even began so you are going to need something drastic to get it back.
There is always the other choice if you don't want to play this game. Tell your husband the truth and see if you can work it out and start from scratch. Good Luck!
2006-08-25 05:10:10 · answer #1 · answered by Chaddy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You met the guy of your dreams and you are married to him now. The other guy you had an relationship with, was not the guy of your dreams, he was only an excitement to you. You should get him out of your head, because his character sucks. He got involved with a girl who was about to get married. He has no morals. This should help you get him out of your head. Sometimes you just want something so badly, because you can't have it. And believe me, the grass on the other side is not greener. Just think of this guy, that he helped to almost ruin your relationship with your dream guy. Maybe to him, you were just a challenge to see, that you would drop you fiance for him. Forget him, he is a total looser. By the way, I am sure he has had his share of girls in those four years. How well do you really know this guy? Has he asked you to leave your husband for him? Are you still having contact with him? I think its an obsession. If you don't love your husband, you should divorce him and let him have a live and love he deserves. Wow, you are adding on stuff to your question every time you get an answer. I am surprised your husband still wants to be with you after you have told him. Maybe your husband will make a decision for you and than you are are all alone like a rolling stone. You need to go counseling by youself and find some closure. Nobody is worth killing yourself. GET A DIVORCE!!!
2006-08-25 04:54:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is this guy really really the person you want, is he everything you want to so much as to probably wreck your marriage ? If he isnt, then put him out of your mind, not easy, but maybe your view of him is a false one, you did not have enough time to really get to know him, you still got married as well to add to the confusion,
best give your husband, yourself and your marriage time to grow ? You married your husband so there must be something that he has of value to you, if you really did not want the marriage, you could have got out of that! I know not easy in the cold light of day but yes you could have not married at all ! Its all about time and how you truly think and feel about situations.
2006-08-25 05:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by Latin Techie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The main thing to do is to put all your energy and focus into your marrage. Do your best to forget this affair, It was a fling and thats all it was. But, you are still married, and if there is anything with this, then you need to try to save it, great marrages are few and far between these days. Be greatful that you have someone that will be there, being alone when you are not dating or being with someone, isnt all its cracked up to be. Good Luck.
2006-08-25 05:00:25 · answer #4 · answered by tennman012000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your marriage is already shot and by having the affair put the icing on the cake. Your either going to have to go with him or you going to be miserable and your husband will eventually catch on and you will be divorced because I don't think your going to forget about this other fling
2006-08-25 04:55:04 · answer #5 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you told your husband? so he knows that you still feel this way?
how tormenting. have you tried marriage counseling...or maybe counseling for yourself at first?
i don't know what to tell you. that must be painful for everyone involved.
a lot can happen in 4 years....that guy may not even be the one you fell for anymore...
you need closure. do what you need to do to get it
2006-08-25 04:54:00 · answer #6 · answered by lucky c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to...get over it with a bridge and leave your husband...You can always stop a marriage. two wrongs don't make a right.
2006-08-25 04:59:44 · answer #7 · answered by Tansey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time and patience.
2006-08-25 04:51:21 · answer #8 · answered by Fleur de Lis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋