2006-08-25 04:18:29 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hello and Hi,
Speaking from my own personal experience, I think that he will eventually forgive you but, you cannot go on day to day beating yourself up on whether or not he will forgive you. You have a life that will go on with or without your husband. I was walking your shoes a year ago and yes, my wife forgave me. The advice I am giving to you, you can take, to the bank. Your husband has to first come to grips that we are all human and that we all make mistakes, hoping that we learn from them. I have learned from mine. I hope that you have learned from yours. When you and your husband said marriage vows to one another I am pretty sure that he said he would take you for better or for worse. It is time for him to consider that. He will forgive you.
2006-08-25 04:25:48 · answer #1 · answered by voski23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually an affair is because you are not getting everything you need from the marriage. If you now have it, tell him so. Show him in little ways that you love HIM. He will probably forgive you, and he should. Every one makes mistakes. But it may take awhile. Just don't let him go over and over it, trying to rub it back in again. It is over and done with, or should be.
2006-08-25 11:24:53 · answer #2 · answered by oddbutterfly1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are different from us on this issue. If he has never cheated and has always been loyal, and really loves you, he will say that he forgives, but over time he will resent you for it, he will always be wondering if your cheating, and what your doing and who your with when you are away from him. That is no way to live, for anyone.......... I was on his side of the world and my nerves and my mind were always wrecked. I think it is cool that he and you are willing to try and bring it back together. But the trust is already damaged and this is not going to be easy. I think you need to figure out why you want him back. Do you love him, and know that you were wrong and made a terrible mistake? Or are you going back to what is comfortable to you because your lover didn't work out and you don't want to be alone? You need some soul searching and I hope you are fair to yourself and your husband, because if you are not going back for all the RIGHT reasons, then its not going to work and you will be divorced within a yr or two. blessed be.
2006-08-25 11:30:55 · answer #3 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he knows, be prepared to be accountable for yourself every minute of the day for a long time. You can't get mad if you feel like he's watching you like a hawk, he should be.
You just make sure that every thing you do is honourable and worthy of trust, and eventually it should work out, but be aware, than any little lie, even about how much you spent on a pair of shoes, will bring back a whole flood of trust issues that will be very hard to deal with.
2006-08-25 11:24:48 · answer #4 · answered by teachinmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is within everyone to forgive, it is a choice that the individual has to make though. You can not force him to forgive you and you may have to live through a lot of grief. If he can not forgive you be prepared for the mental strain he will put on you.
Forgive yourself for what has happened because you don't need to live with the guilt he will put on you and the guilt you put on yourself.
If your marriage is going to work, it will take a willingness on both parts.
Good Luck to you.
2006-08-25 11:25:32 · answer #5 · answered by Andrea T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is probably not a question of forgivness as much as it is a question of TRUST. How can he ever trust you again? It will always be there in the back of his mind. Whenever you are not there he will wonder what you are doing or who you are doing. Something like that usually destroys a relationship.
2006-08-25 11:23:34 · answer #6 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from experience, if he loves you he will. But you have to remember that the line of trust is broken. Time only mends it. You need to be upfront with him. When you go out, when you leave work, ect... He must know where you are at all the time. It sounds crazy but thats how it is. Go to couseling by yourself. If he wants to come, then allow it. The only way to heal it is to show him it was a mistake and you mean buisness.
2006-08-25 11:58:15 · answer #7 · answered by scott l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a cheater always a cheater, and it would be difficult to trust you again. He might forgive what you did but not forget. The glass ball has been broken and now mended with super glue... will it be as it was before?
2006-08-25 11:26:57 · answer #8 · answered by trushka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like anything it takes time.Healing is not done over night.You both now need this time together so you can bond and get to no each other again.Relationships take patience on both parts and if you take the time to rebuild and make it work this time you both will be rewarded later.Best Wishes!!
2006-08-25 11:22:32 · answer #9 · answered by endigogirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you forgive him? There's no bouncing back after someone cheats, it just ruins everything. I know people change, or whatever, but there's just something detrimental about cheating. It will NEVER be the same...sorry.
2006-08-25 11:22:43 · answer #10 · answered by ossaciP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋