What do you think of this poem I wrote when I was younger?

Question

The day that all those people died
Was the day I turned and cried
Even though they didn't die in bed
They gaveth there soul to the dead
Close together everyone did come
Alot not a few, a couple or some
That day did change alot of things
The day those people grew their wings
Though there shouldn't be fighting anymore
The young and old went out to war
This day the people went to heaven
Was the day of September Eleven

I wrote this when I was in school back on the day the World Trade Center went down? Should I get it published?

Answer 1

i absolutely loved it!! it expresses all the pain of those who died. i think the American people would love it. u should definitely get it published.

Answer 2

If you were really young when you wrote it, then maybe
"Time For Kids", or another children's mag. might publish it. If
older, then probably not. The iambic pentameter is off in places... the "die in bed" and "souls to the dead", doesn't make sense...too many this, the, they , though, and that's, try to follow
a this with a this now and then..... for example, in the last two lines, you could have written something like this.....this day so many went to heaven, this tragic day september eleven....

Answer 3

It sounds like a rip off of Bye Bye Miss American Pie by Don McLean

Answer 4

I thought it was a heart felt poem. It was really great.. so why not share it? go for it, u should have no problem trying to get this one published GL = )

Answer 5

when you express the delicacy of your feelings
don't throw it out before the general public except
if you are strong and wise enough
to separate the see-ers from the sneerers.

Answer 6

Yes try and get it published.

Answer 7

I think very little of it. You are not a trained poet.

Yet, you express many feelings. Good fo you.

Answer 8

it was good >> go here and post it

http://www.poetry.com