help with my marriage?

Question

my husband will not come back to me, until my 20 year old has left home, they dont get on.dont know what to do. love them both.

Answer 1

Sounds like the 20 year old is a huge lazy @$$ and sucks up a lot of money just exsisting. Time to boot that brat out of the nest. Don't worry, they'll forgive and thank you later. If they don't, then you wasted your life raising a lump of useless flesh. and now you'll be without a loving man too. At your age, you could wind up dying alone, do you know how hard it is for a 40-something to get a new man these days?!

Answer 2

Not knowing any of the situation, I would guess your son is a "taker". I am sure he is a fine kid, but that is just it he is still a kid at 20. He shouldn't be at home, he should be out working, have an apartment, pursuing some goals. As much as you may still want to mother him the best thing for him is to be pushed into maturity. I don't agree with your husband trying to force your hand by moving out. I tend to think that is childish as well, but it is time for your son to become independent rather then living off your kindness.
Take all of that with a grain of salt, because like I said I don't know the details and am only speculating from similar stories that I know of.

Answer 3

You have 2 men in the house both trying to be the head of the house... why does the 20 year old still live with you? Are they in college? Do they work?

Answer 4

I have a twenty old step daughter. she does nothing but stay on the computer all night and day. unless she is out ******* some loser. she doesn't do a damn thing around the house. and yes it pisses me off. I have kept her clothed and fed for the last five years. bought her gifts and given her spending money. taken her places she need to go. and i am tired of it and thinking about doing the same thing. I love my wife but i tired of taking care of her worthless daughter. I think I should do the same thing. tell your husband thanks forgiving me the courage. I hope my wife decides to let her daughter go. cause i am ready to let them both go if she isn't. I would love to spend the rest of my life with my wife but no her lazy *** daughter. I was working and out on my own when i was 18. bought my first house when i was 20. this lazy as daughter is 20 and ain't even had a job yet.

Answer 5

Your husband is older than the 20 yr. old, so whatever they can't agree on, they should compromise about. You are the strong one obviously because you don't have a problem with neither one your only problem is that they are leaving and hurting you. Dinner in my family always work, so get both of them over some dinner and have them discuss their differences. If a stubborn attitude should approach, put it in the hands that can take care of every need....JESUS!!!

Answer 6

Where is he all along? Is he with some other woman?

If you love them both then wait til your son leaves home for your husband to come home. It's never too late.

Answer 7

This is so common. Be very honest with yourself. Are you still babying your 20 year old? Is your child disrespecting your husband? Why don't they get along? 20 year old men are mostly immature, disrespectful punks. Do you defend this punk as though he were still a little baby. DON'T.

Answer 8

First of all it is his child? If no then let him know straight up ur child comes first dont matter how old he/she be. Is either he stays with u n work things out or get the hell out of ur life. Maybe he's just looking for a way out of the relationship

Goodluck!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

Sounds like a baby to me. Help your son move, keep in contact with him, have a good relationship, etc., and maybe you and your husband will get along then, if you don't resent the hell out of him.

Answer 10

Read the book "Love must be tough" by Dr Dobson, it will open your eyes to an answer. Its a fast read and helped me stand back and look at my situation and helped me wake up..
Good luck!