marriage? We have gone to counseling, the couselor believes I am emotionally and financially abused. My son hates my husband and I feel it is time to make a decision that is best for my son and it is to stop letting my husband put us down and get out. But is this the best solution? My husband just does not know how to be a father, let alone a husband. He is very controlling and when I ask him for $10 to pick up some items at the store he gets very angry. He won't let me work, have friends, checks the mileage on my car... and then there is my son who is blamed for everything. He has his own son from his previous and when the children argue, my son is punished. I have tried talking to him and it is ok for a day or 2 but it goes back to the same situtation. I also live 800 miles from family. I only have friends out here, would it be okay to stay with them???
2006-08-25 02:35:19 · 16 answers · asked by jewel 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, stay with friends and then file for divorce. And whatever you do DON"T go back! No matter what he says or promises - don't go back.
2006-08-25 02:38:23 · answer #1 · answered by doc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a no brainer. Why have you given this bastard so much control over your life? You are not his slave and neither is your son. I hope you wrote this message on a laptop as you were leaving on the bus or something. If I were 8000 miles away from people who loved and respected me and my son, I'd find a way to get out.
I'm sure that so many women are in this same type of senario. They're so afraid of being alone that they put up with all kinds of abuse. The marriage vows say , "for better or worse"..."forsaking all others", yata, yata, frickin' yata!. I've always thought that was complete and total bullshit!
If you wanna stay and endure this type of abuse, fine. Just don't allow your son to be abused by this toad.
2006-08-25 03:02:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a sad situation, I feel you. It may seem drastic to divorce him and move on but you have to do whatever is in the very best interest of your child. The experiences he has now are going to groom him for the man he will become when he gets older. If this abuse continues it will reflect on his future behavior as a father and husband. If counseling was tried and nothing has changed...I would suggest talking to your family ad probably making arrangements to move back temporarily until yo get your feet ack on the ground. It is going to be a struggle and I would think family would be of great assistance in such time.
Best of luck to you and your child!
2006-08-25 02:51:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already answered your own question. After all of this you have told us you still think it is ok to stay with him? Get out while you still can. Find you someone to respect you and your son. Find someone that can be a father figure for him. You both deserve better. He sounds like a a** hole. We are not all like that. He dont trust you is the reason he does all of this. It will only get worse as the years go on. Good luck. I hope everything works out.
2006-08-25 02:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by bigdog_0032 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do WHATEVER it takes to get out of the situation. My husband comes from an abusive homelife with an "evil" step-dad. He resents his mom now because she stayed with him and let the abuse continue until my husband couldn't take it anymore and left the home at 16. Nothing is more important than your child and you so leave. I know it won't be easy but it will the best damn thing you did for your son and yourself. Please...get out of there a.s.a.p. Good luck!!
2006-08-25 02:39:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. He is abusive and controlling. He is not good for you and your son. See the danger signs. Stay with your friends no longer than a week. Get a place of your own by then.
2006-08-25 05:49:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Defiently get rid of this man. Move out, and file for divorce. My mother was engaged to man, and thankfully, before they had a chance to marry, he totally blew up on my brother. He also treated his own daughter better than my brother. He hated him, and my mother ditched him. She's back together with him now, and I've moved out because of it. So don't run the risk of losing your son when he is an adult. Do the right thing now.
2006-08-25 03:01:38 · answer #7 · answered by the_umbrella 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Contact a Domestic Abuse Crisis Center in your area ASAP. The issue is MUCH more damaging and serious than your son not liking your husband. This is abuse. If I were you I would look up all my resources and I rather be couch hopping for a while than put up with abuse for another minute.
2006-08-25 03:16:06 · answer #8 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not stay with a person like this they will only waste your life.I have a stepdaughter i don't care for her much but i would never give my own daughter special treatment or treat my stepdaughter bad thats wrong and kids don't deserve that you should not put your son thru that.Screw that man you don't need him he is just a controling,bossy, asshole he won't change i promise you they never do.good luck
2006-08-25 03:50:05 · answer #9 · answered by samwise25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you even put your kid thru something like that. I mean if it was just you it would be fine and all b/c it is your choice but you have a kid to raise and you can't say oh well I am doing my job b/c your not. Protecting your kid and not letting him see you being treated this way should have been your breaking point. I am not being mean but to me you are the bigger blame here for just not even thinking about your kid to feel he doesn't need that crap. Never wonder how men grow up to treat women sorry when they grow up seeing things like this. For your kid and any woman that may end up in his future please be the one to show him how a woman is to be treated. that is all.
2006-08-25 02:55:34 · answer #10 · answered by BettieRulz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋