Depressed Wife?

Question

Wife frequently threatens to kill herself, leave, or just says she is going to do "something". Anyone that is close to her (our son, her mother and myself) are subject to an outburst at any time. We are all very frustrated with it. On many occasions even her mother asked me to get her help, but we both know she will not admit there is a problem, let alone get help.

Answer 1

Whether she wants to admit it or not she has a problem and needs help! The fact that she threatens suicide is a major cry for help, even if she would never do such a thing, just her threating to do so is her way of getting attention, so it's up to you as her husband to give her that attention.

Most people in this frame of mind won't seek professional help so that is also up to you. You need to contact her Dr. and let him know what is going on and see what he recommends then follow his advise. As for your part, I know how frustrating and aggravating she is being to you when she gets like that, but please try and be patient and tolerant with her.

Maybe you can arrange for just the 2 of you to go away for a nice, quiet, romantic and restful couple days while Mom watches your son. That would give you time to talk with her and maybe give her a chance to unwind a bit. It doesn't need to be an expensive trip. Just a weekend get-a-way, something like we all use to do when we were younger and dating type thing. Just try not to be confrontational with her. Let her get her point across and maybe if she sees that you are not fighting back she will mello out and not be as difficult so you can actually find out what is going on with her.

Just remember, depression doesn't have to make sense or have a specific cause, you can have everything going for you in life and still be depressed. Sometimes, especially with woman, it's hormonal and can't be helped and all that is needed is a sympathtic ear to listen quietly to our irrational venting.

Good luck and do make sure you contact her Dr. though because suicide threats are nothing to mess around with. It's much better to be safe than sorry on this one.

Answer 2

She's holding you all under an "emotional" hostage situation... this is how she gets her way. Honestly, she may have a depressant trigger within her, but she's using that as a leverage.

You MUST get her into counseling; go as a family until she's comfortable going by herself. She's going to have to realize that her frequent threats are not just a sign of depression, but it's also hurting the ones who love her the most.

I've been exactly where you are now, and counseling is the key! I believe it's also medically related and can be charged to your medical insurance.

Good luck

Answer 3

If her depression (or, it may be bipolar disorder) is bad enough, she can be hospitalized. Is there any way you can get her to go to a doctor? A general practitioner or even OB/GYN could help her get started on the road to recovery.

I was recently diagnosed with postpartum depression, and was very resistant to the idea of taking drugs. It helped to have my husband and doctor explain to me that this is a hormonal imbalance, it's not my fault. It's a physical thing that's wrong and I need a drug to correct that thing. Since starting Zoloft, I have been doing so much better.

Answer 4

Why ask a question when you have already ruled out the answer? She probably is depressed, maybe suffering from menopause symptoms. Either leave or force her to get help. If everyone who had issues waited until they acknowledged they need help, it wouldn't happen. Talk to your family doctor and see how you could get her transported to an ER for evaluation. Telling the EMTs that she has chest pain is one way. When she denies it, they will think she is nuts anyway.
Don't just sit there whining. Figure out how to get her help whether she wants it or not.

Answer 5

Schedule an appointment with the doctor, without her knowing. Tell her you are going to go somewhere special and take her. If she will not admit to the doctor what is wrong, you tell him, you are the husband. If you love your wife and you want to see her healthy again you need to take some initiative on this situation.

Answer 6

You need to go to a therapist and have him / her help you stage a family intervention. If she's not going to admit that she has a problem then you guys need to make her aware of it. By having a therapist there while you do the intervention she will less likely ignore you and start screaming. Good luck!

Answer 7

Sounds like she has unresolved issues, or perhaps a chemical imbalance. Either way she needs professional psychiatric help. An anti-depressant or mood stabilizer might help her. Talk her into checking herself into a facility for help. It will improve your family life a great deal.

Answer 8

You can't live like this forever. If she will not get help you should take your son and leave until she agrees to it. I have issues from my childhood that have been effecting my relationship I got help because I knew I needed it. Good luck

Answer 9

It may be chemical- she may not be on a birth control that agrees with her. I was on several different pills that really messed with my head- like my best friend being afraid to leave me alone because I might do something drastic messed up- and it may be more acceptable to her to just change a pill....

Answer 10

You may have to use tough love on her. You may have to tell her if she wont get help you'll get it for her. I went thru something like that, not only was I suffering from depression, I was dehydrated, blood sugar was high. She needs help NOW!! You love her get her help. also if your frustrated with her, you have no idea what she's going thru.