guys, i need your help on this. please?

Question

my exboyfriend used to hurt me a lot. he verbally abused me and told me really degrading things. it really lowered my self esteem and i lost a lot of weight. and to think that i was pregnant. all these continued until after i gave birth. when i left him six months after my son was born, he never gave any support to our son. he would come by once in a blue moon. and whenever he comes to our house, i have panic attacks. i tremble and i feel really cold all over. can i file for a restraining order against him? we were never married and i never asked for his support in raising my son who is now 2 years and 6 months old. please i really need your advice. thank you.

Answer 1

You can go to family court and ask for a restraining order, you have enough negative contact with this guy the court would probably grant it. Contact a family law attorney and have them present the petition to the court. If I was you I'd ask your attorney to prepare the documents having him sign away all parental rights to the child while you're at it. Tell him he's going to have to start paying support otherwise.

It's in your favor he's not paying child support or pursued joint custody in the court already, that shows he's not an involved father. Good luck, hon, pick a better partner next time, someone that will be a positive role model for your son.

Answer 2

You actually have more problems than are being addressed by most of the prior responses. You must consider both your legal rights and alternatives, and your health alternatives. I am an attorney and most of the other people are correct that the ultimate response will depend upon your jurisdiction (state where you live), but there are some things you should be aware of.

First, let's talk about your mental health. Although you left the bum 2 years ago, you still get panic attacks when he comes by to visit. Is he still abusive? Has he been both physically abusive (hitting or threatening) or just verbaly abusive? If he has demonstrated ANY type of abuse, you would be entitlted to a protective order, either from the local criminal court or a family court. If you are having these attacks and he has not continued to be abusive, then you must address the self esteem issues. For this you should consider counseling to take control of your life, and that of your son.

As far as a restraining order is concerned, do you want to stop all visitation? To do so, you must have his parental rights terminated. You can do this if you can prove that your child is being endangered by his presence (such as he is violent). If you can't prove a dnager to your son, then you probably cannot get a restraining order, but you have alternatives. You can demand child support from him. He would then have to pay a specified sum every week or month. Failure to pay, if he is working, can be viewed as a voluntary neglect of his parental responsibilities and may result in a loss of his parental rights (including the right to visit, seek custody, etc.

Many ex-es, try to intimidate the custodial parent by threatening to seek custody, expanded visitation, etc. Don't be intimidated! The child has been living with you for the past 2 years, do you really think a court would take the child away? (Well, if you present a danger to the child - drugs, violence, a dnagerous new boyfriend, then yes, but otherwise you're OK.)

In the long run, if it can be done, it is probably in your child's best interest to have a HEALTHY relationship with you (as custodial parent) and his father (as non-custodial, visiting parent). This will help your child with questions that always come up in the future. He will learn to respect you and his father and understand why you are not together. If one of you bad mouths the other to your son, it will almost always back fire as he grows up. The best alternative is if you can compromise on some support and visitation arrangement. remember the safety of your son is paramount. If he is safe, then allow the visits. If not completely safe, allow supervised visits (whether it is you doing the supervision of someone you trust). If it is not safe, remove yourself and your son from the situation, either by getting a court order or physically moving away from where your boyfriend can find you!

Answer 3

I am pretty sure you can get a restraining order because he does not support your son and he verbally abuses you. Someone does no have to physically hurt you to get a restraing order. You can call the police if he comes over again and is mean to you. If he is not at your house at the moment, you can go to the local courthouse to file for a restraining order.They can try to work it out, and they could give you a restraing order to keep him away if you demand one. Depending on where you live, they should give it to you. If he makes you panic every time he visits, and he is mean to you, they have to give you the restraining order, as long as you tell them you feel he threatens you every time he visits. Harassment is one thing you can always get a restraining order for. That and physical abuse are the most common reasons why people get restraining orders. A restraing order is always temporary though, until you can go to a hearing for the case. If they don't give you the restraing order for some very odd reason, you can go to court and ask for one again and you could also press charges against him, although they would not be serious, as long as he has not physically abused you. The cops or the court almost never deny a restraing order. He will stay away from you if you have a restraining order though, or you can call the cops. You can also try going to a psychologist if all else fails, which it shouldn't. Your ex-boyfriend will have to start paying child support if he is hardly around. You can bring that up at court also. I am sure they will order him to pay child support. You have to bring up the fact that he does not support your son at court. I wish you good luck and I hope I helped.

http://www.letswrap.com/legal/hro.htm
http://incestabuse.about.com/cs/restrainingorders/ht/OFPHRO.htm
http://family-law.freeadvice.com/domestic_violence/restraining_order04.htm
http://www.larcc.org/pamphlets/children_family/get_restraining_order.htm

Answer 4

1. File for child support. You didn't get pregnant on your own.

2. The first time he gets verbal or lays a hand on you, call 911 and file a report. Without it being in the system, there is no way that they can help or protect you.

3. If he wants visitation, which he may if he has to pay support, it has to be scheduled and in the presence of someone who is neutral in this situation.

Don't let someone control you and that is all he is doing. If he knows which buttons to push, rest assured, when he wants to irk you or upset you, he will know exactly what to do. Show him that it effects you and he will always have the upper hand.

Answer 5

Hell !!!! Yea !!! report that dog ,
And make it sound like you've been trauma.tized , your in fear for your life . Also tell him it's not his baby. He's got low sperm count and couldn,t bus a grape.
Get that restraining order and watch out for retaliation, cause he's really gonna ta try and kill you

P.S. If you don't want him in your life, don't file child support. cause
Then he will insist on visitation . ( you don't want that)
Just tell the police and everyone else it's not his baby
I doubt he'll pay the $ 600. 00 to prove that your not telling the truth
If he beat you he'll beat your baby .

Answer 6

I agree with ralfcoder but I know from personal experience that you can have a restraining order put on him.
It may not even go that far, a stern letter from a lawyer may do it.
There are places you can get free legal advice, I would go there if I was you.
Oh, and if he wants to see his kid there are special contact centres where he can visit without you having to see him.

Answer 7

Asking here is like taking your cat to the florist for medical treatment. You need an expert. Contact a lawyer. We don't know what jurisdiction you're in, most of the people here aren't lawyers, either.
Look up your local state or country bar association for a recommendation, if you're in the US. Ask friends if they've used lawyers they would recommend, too.

Answer 8

Has he ever paid any kind of child support? In some states, if you have no records of him supporting your child, it might give you an advantage.

I'm not a lawyer so my best advice is seek legal advice. Look up legal counsel for women or go here-

http://www.snbw.org/

Answer 9

For a restrainig order, you need to show a recent belief that something may occur.

You owe it to the child to file for support, and get benefits. He is your whole world!

Answer 10

you can get your restraining order but you need to go to the shrink and have him/her say it is best if he not come around i would also look into taking his parental rights away he rarly see the child so it will not be hard to do this good luck