next step? Leave? I feel really hurt deep down and I am not sure it can be repaired. I am soo confused and scared and don't no what to do!!!
2006-08-25 01:37:08 · 12 answers · asked by jewel 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do what you feel once you had enough you will decide
2006-08-28 13:11:49 · answer #1 · answered by marrissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a marriage that is ROCKY at best most of the time. Every time I think about leaving, I remind myself what I said when I said my vows..... "for better or worse".....
Sounds like right now you're going thru the worse part... If you love your husband, and Im assuming you do since you have sought marriage counseling (which my husband and I are doing also), I think maybe you should ask your husband to go with you......
Marriage is hard work, and I know because mine is definately not what I signed up for when I said I do!!!!!! My pastor is the one who is couseling my husband and I, and i have suffered physical, emotional, and deal with drug and alcohol abuse. Not to mention, the fact that he pretty much treats me like a maid, and a door mat.....
I love my husband, deep down I know that there is a good man inside him, cuz I have seen that person before.... Besides, I would never have married him if he wasnt a good person.... Counseling together seems to make a difference..... If you still love him, that is what my next move would be if you havent already tried it that is.....
Either way, if you love him, DONT GIVE UP!!!!!
Its hard, but it is worth it.......
There are days I would love to say forget it all and just go about my merry little way, but I wouldnt be truly happy unless I knew for a fact that I did all I could to work things out first!!!!!
I wish you and your husband all the luck in the world!!!!!!
2006-08-25 09:06:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have to decide what it is you want? If you want to try and make your marriage work keep going to counseling, take your husband with you. He may not realize the way he's treating you. (If he's the kind of person you should be with he will change his destructive behavior) If he doesn't change, and I know it's hard, leave him. No one should have to suffer abuse. Beware though, people who get out of a bad relationship will often jump right into another one because they are use to being treated badly. If you leave him you need to get counseling on your own. When the next person comes along make sure he's the right one. Take him to counseling with you, I know it sounds funny but when I was getting married I had a lot of issues to work through. My fiance went for my sake, and they taught us how to be a normal healthy family. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. (I wasn't taught the way to be normal, normal for me meant suffering other peoples abuse). Sounds like you may have too.
2006-08-25 08:47:23 · answer #3 · answered by Jes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are paying for this counselor, then why are you asking us?
Didn't they tell you what to do, or at least give you any suggestions? I am a counselor, and there are many times that there is too much damage to repair in a relationship, and it is better to move on.
So you need to ask yourself are you willing to do the work to fix this marriage? Is he willing to do the work and own his short comings to fix this marriage. My only advise is, if you both are willing to "own" the damage each of you have caused, and you are both willing to work on your relationship, then it is worth working out if you really love each other. If not, then start putting you life in order so that you can move on. Please continue in some type of counseling to help you repair this emotional damage that has be caused.
God Bless and good luck
2006-08-25 08:46:46 · answer #4 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a therapist for some years now. both of you should be working together as a goal for your treatment. somehow specific concerns that you have must be conveyed to your spouse. only you know the real extent of your fear, but a good therapist should be able to help you sort through real fears, and make plans to address them.
address your concerns with your therapist...not here. however, you must also look at other options ..like save money to move on.
2006-08-25 11:21:10 · answer #5 · answered by rwedifferent 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then leave. I mean if you feel the theraphist is correct, then you can be better off with out the marriage.
I would continue the counseling to help the break up go smoother.
2006-08-25 08:40:46 · answer #6 · answered by B V 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please do so as you were advised before its too late . You can find plenty nice human who will take care of you . You must believe in Almighty . You are going to get nice one as soon as you start living independently .
2006-08-25 08:46:42 · answer #7 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your conselor is supposed to help you work through those feeloings of fear and confusion if this one isn't doing that find another counselor.
2006-08-25 08:44:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds as if the counselor knows whats wrong, dump the s.o.b. and call my friend debbi carroll 1-866-471-3782 or if you have the web, go to www.debbicarroll.com, tell her mark told you to contact her . good luck
2006-08-25 08:44:40 · answer #9 · answered by Mark 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I basically think it take two to have good marriage.
2006-08-25 08:52:15 · answer #10 · answered by zion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋