hi im with a bloke who i love to bits,trouble is i can only see him 1 day a week..he works away during week and has his kids on weekends and because of pysco ex misses im not allowed anywhere near them..know we have no future together cus he has to live 2 seperate lives(1 with me and 1 with kids) yet i still cant tell him its over...well i have but always fall for it when he says it will work,things will change and loves me..im nearly 30 and dont want to be just a 1 day week girlfriend want more than that so what do i do?i cant move on with life cus love him and cant let him go even tho i know its pointless...stupid!!!!
2006-08-25 00:59:20 · 20 answers · asked by shell 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You have answered your own question .. because you love him to bits.
However you do have to be realistic .. if things stay as they are you are going to suffer a lifetime of pain. The question is ...does HE love YOU.
If he does then he will start making steps to change things so you can be closer together and more often. In the long term his situation must change to make life better for you.
If he is not man enough to make the changes required then he doesnt love you .. if he doesnt love you then he doesnt deserve you or your love ....and you will need to move on.
I know this might sound harsh but I am thinking of you and your feelings, the longer this goes on, the more painful it will be if and when it ends so be strong and make the decision ..
it is really in his hands right now, if he doesnt take it on then you will need to put it back in your hands and make the decision for him.
You know where I am if you need to chat ...
2006-08-25 01:07:20 · answer #1 · answered by enzuigiriuk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve someone that can give you his all. Not 1/7 of his time. Why don't you suggest a meeting with him and his ex (though that depends on how psycho she is). Tell her you have no intentions of replacing her as their mother. Tell him you want a normal life, so something has to give and if he can't meet you half way then someone out there will love you the way he can't.
Maybe a scare tactic will work. If all else fails, tell him you need time to think and stay away from him for 1 month (that's all it will take because 1 month away from the one you love feels like a life time!)
Good Luck pet
2006-08-25 01:22:23 · answer #2 · answered by mother knowledge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would let him go cos its not fair on u, u want more than 1 day a week, thats not much of a relationship for u most people have settled down with kids at your age start again u will find someone who will treat u good , i no u love him but think about it do u want to live like this cos hes not going to change x
2006-08-25 01:10:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walking away from someone you love is never going to be easy, but you have already admitted to yourself that it's what you need to do, so you should just be strong and get on with it. You'll likely be miserable for a couple of months (well, I'm not going to pretend otherwise!) but you will of course get over it and then you'll thank yourself for having the balls to take control of your life and doing what you needed to do to secure your future happiness.
Before long you'll meet someone else, someone who can give you what you want
2006-08-25 01:09:02 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the initiative and assert yourself... tell him that, although you cannot change him or his past, he can affect your future... together. Express your wishes clearly without ultimatum (jot them down and practice in front of a mirror), and deal with what you can affect in yourself more than his "shortcomings" (pardon the rougish pun). If he still insists on keeping you at arms length then you backed the wrong horse and it will only sadden you further and deepen your misery. You will rue the day you ever met and quite possibly despise yourself for being gullible. Set a schedule for him to pull his socks up (KEEP THIS TO YOURSELF) and most importantly.. stick to it... best of luck
2006-08-31 06:57:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you the cause of the breakup of the marriage? I don't know why but ex-wives really do hate the women who broke their marriage and it does make them psycho. She probably loved him to bits, too.
If you're not, then there's no reason to seperate you from the children.
Either way, its up to your guy to sort it out. He's having his cake and eating it too. Maybe he's a good dad and wants to be with his children? And it's up to you to be strong enough to say "enough is enough".
This half and half is stealing your life. If he won't do it, move on.
2006-08-25 01:11:24 · answer #6 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u answered ur own question!the relationship is stupid an pointless u have to b strong an walk away now!u know u deserve better how do u know he doesn have some1 else on the go wen hes workin away?if he really loved u he'd make more effort.sorry but its true,sounds like he jus usin u for a once a wk shag
2006-08-25 01:04:13 · answer #7 · answered by janey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.k. admit it, he's good in bed...I don't think you can give up the sex ? You know in your heart he's not going to commit to a relationship. The decision is yours. He's have his cake and eating it to. Down deep inside your just a piece of *** to him, that's all. If your not hurt and still like the situation. Keep it going but when the party starts , you know at some time it's going to end.
2006-08-31 18:47:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many times has he told you it will change??
If you're nearly 30 you need to think what you really want out of life - just a part-timer or a genuine committed boyfriend who adores you and wants to be around you all the time.
I think you have to say goodbye to him, though it will hurt like hell.
And hey - you aren't stupid, you're just human like the rest of us. I hope it works out for you x
2006-08-29 09:51:43 · answer #9 · answered by Kat69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep - answered your own question.
WE can't tell you which is MOST important to you - only you can. What I mean is your LOVE for him, or the relationship being POINTLESS? Which is BIGGEST in your head/mind/space? Only YOU KNOW!
My suggestion is to go for it, even if it means a few months of hardship. She won't be like that for ever - you never know!
Time will heal all.
2006-09-01 14:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by Gazza Bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋