married women ??

Question

I have been living with this guy for 16yr. and he only wants sex when he is in the mood(only every 3 to 4 weeks, 1 or 2 days on the weekends only).
im 43yr ; he is 50yr. dont understand why he dont want sex more often or with me?
no he is not seeing anyone else. and has no health problems. and when we do have sex its"just ok".
then next day after sex, he fights with me.
just want to know if any other married women go through this? every time I talk to him about I feel about this , he only says "I dont want to talk about it, or I dont want hear it" if you dont stop talking about it, im leaving.
what should I do? I want sex more often than just every 3 or 4weeks and only 1 or 2 days only on weekends. is there anything I can do to get him to "want" sex more often?
I have tried all the "sex techniques".
im about to look elsewhere get myself some satisfaction.
I feel like im living with a roommate,
told him last night that I should get someone else to satisfy my needs since he dont.

every time I try to "explain" to him that I am in the mood, he says: im tired. im not in the mood.
he dont want to hear it from me. and he dont want to talk about it.
I have tried to get him interested, i have tried:
1) touching him
2) kissing him
3) go down on him
he only says: stop. im tired. i need my sleep. leave me alone.
what to do now??

how do I get him interested? and want more sex more often?? what to do??
I have talked, tried the toys, tried the techniques.
now what?
have no money for professional counceling and he says no.
now what??
what do other married women do that I havent tried.???

Answer 1

wat u told him yesterday, dont repeat it any more by words. u say u have applied all sex methods , his health is normal, but dear in 50s male become physically weak and try to avoid lots of physical action. so u try to be the active one in making sex. i mean u play the whole show of intercourse in other words u ride him instead of making him ride on u. try to keep him happy even if u dont get proper attention from him and give him sex to his satisfaction without complaing him abt his mistakes in domestic or sexual behavior. i hope all will b ok in due corse.

Answer 2

I've been practicing as a Marriage and Family Therapist for some time; and of course, I'd done my share of sex counseling. You simply must disregard any information that you've received about leaving him or getting satisfaction outside of your marriage. Keep in mine that ur society general has become lewd, and moral are thrown out of the window in the name of sexual satisfaction.

You are understandably frustrated. However, seeking understanding remains a course to follow. You both are going through a cycle of life that can create different level of interest. And yes, physical energy is different; as well as views of life, death and relationships.

The true issue here is this......How committed are you to him - and vice versa. Truly committed people will find a means to resolve their issue even if only one goes to a therapist.

Some how - someone has to approach satisfaction in this relationship with pure seriousness....seriousness hat suggest we must seek to fulfill each other. This can only be done through discussing your concerns. Since he's low in patience, write down your concerns and ask him what you can do to help improve your relationship. I need to add this...sex is usually one symptom of a relationship where problems may exist. AND, relationship without high sex activity does not mean that something is wrong with a man or woman. People's interest decline for various and appropriate reasons.

I did not see that you guys are married. Marriage does signify a committment that says "I'll work with you until we get this resolved". But, both must work together. Do you work? This also means that you have more time to ponder your interest and desires.

Do not get stuck on any one thing that I have said. You must first find a means to discuss, or make known your concerns. Then agreements must bemade and carried out.

Answer 3

I go through almost the same thing as you do, with some differences. My husband gives it up about once every three to four months. At times he will give it up a little more, but very rare. Over the last 5 years I have tried everything with him from wearing sexy lingerie, doing lap dances, strip teasing, etc. Nothing seemed to work. I have b*tched for it and if I did get it after throwing a huge fit ti was sympathy sex or just to get me to shut up. His excuses are similar to what you hear, 'I'm tired', 'My back hurts', 'I have a headache', etc, etc. There are no medical issues or any sort with him either like your man. My man is only 40. I have no clue to what will help with you. I wanted to let you know that I know some of what you feel. If you want to bs about it with me, want someone who can understand, send a message to me. I'll be more than happy to listen to you girl. I apologize that I have no advice on it.


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Answer 4

Well darling... here is one pointer for you when you try to talk to a man about the needing of more sex please realize this that he may feel like you are attacking his manlyness. I would encourage you to try a kinky night of make sure you are home 1st... clean up house have dinner ready... candle lite.... try "changing into something more comfortable" and then feed the man! Try satisfying his other erotic senses. See if that can spark a moment of passion.

Answer 5

well u must check again and make sure if he has health problems . also its not about the health but maybe its about feeling . in other mean : he got bored from u O.o
by this way u must re new ur life with him like : if u can return 20 years back ... u know what i mean ?

Answer 6

I am a very satisfied male partner ....my wife gives it up every night nearly and i love it that way. Saying that my previous marriage is what you discribed......and well ashamely i looked elsewhere.....i think you do what you have to do hun. good luck I think all men like it more regularly than what you described.

Answer 7

So explain to the man he has to give you some at least twice a week!!! Geeze....I think it's normal for an older man; but my man is 56 and wants it all of the time. So....motivate the man, honey!

Answer 8

Does he have an erectile dysfunction problem? Does he take medication for high blood pressure that would effect his performance? It could be a medical problem.

Answer 9

No I have never gone through that kind of situation, there's something wrong with your situation. It seems like he isn't fully interested in what you guys have going.

Answer 10

Dont do sex with him for a week.
And React as you dont want
He will come after you.
If he dont then dont be nurves
One Day he will be with you