When I first met my husband he was the most caring,gentle man you ever seen,as soon as I said "i do" everything changed,I know live with a total monster.He is so imature,I keep thinking he will grow up and change but I have waited 8 years and he is a bigger baby then ever,he takes no responsibility,should I give it up or do you think he will ever change
2006-08-25 00:08:13 · 13 answers · asked by TAMMY M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As for changing, not unless a MAJOR life experience came down and hit him on the head........... In my experience most men never grow up, they only get worse....... Have u tried talking to him about it...... Usually doesn't work, what I did was started acting like him and when he noticed the change in me I said see this is what I have been putting up with, still didn't change anything and not saying u should do what I did but after 8 yrs myself, I finally had enough and packed up and left...... Of course after all of his freedom, going out with new women, going out with the guys and not having to answer to anyone, he realized after about 6 months that I wasn't so bad after all. Then when I found a new man, older but still not completely grown up, he wanted me back.... FAT CHANCE! Life is to short to be miserable!
2006-08-25 00:17:03 · answer #1 · answered by fox69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you're husband is comfortable with how your marriage is right now... when people get comfortable, they get lazy.
Everything with him is routine and he takes it all for granted. He's not going to change and as everyone has suggested... YOU are going to have to change.
Start with counseling. If he doesn't want to go, go anyway... you need to vent this with someone outside your family.
If he takes no responsibility, such as work outside the house or not doing anything around the house, CHANGE your bank account to where you only have access to it and change your habits around the house... don't pick up after him, don't wash his clothes, don't cater to him!
Or... give him the ultimatum. You are DONE, and the only one who can save your marriage is him. Give him a time-frame and then start comparing attorneys in the process. When the time-frame has ended, he will have either met some of your expectations or you will be ready to proceed with the hearing.
Good luck...
2006-08-25 01:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry no change here. After 19 years of marriage and realising he wouldn't change, am still wondering what am I doing here? I try talking, he doesn't do talking, I try not talking - he gets huffy because I'm quiet, infact I am quite sure he has autistic tendencies. His father is the same and I can see the gap closing as he gets older - get me out of here: I'm so miserable!! There is such a wonderful life out there to try go give it a go. Have no regrets and don't end up being bitter. He won't or can't change. Good luck!
2006-08-25 00:35:50 · answer #3 · answered by Sammy J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he wont change. you need to change and that is to change your marital status. You deserve to be happy. As they say don't judge a book by its cover. You like millions of other women in the world were tricked by the charm of the cover to find out that it was a total different story on the inside. Not your fault, men like this need a lot of therapy and they have to be receptive to the intervention. Also change takes a long time. Move on this is an unhealthy relationship and you could be siad to have a domestically violent marriage
2006-08-25 00:19:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just had to reply to tell you that I hate the people that put on the dating 'front' and don't show their true colors until after the wedding. I married one, and mine is what I call the 5 year old. If you have no children, LEAVE... run.
If you must, do counciling, talk to him, give him a taste of his own medicine, but if it does no good. Find someone that you will be happy with, not complain about. Best of luck.
2006-08-25 00:41:01 · answer #5 · answered by Valeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should he change? You have let him get away with it for 8 years. You should have put a stop to it at the begining. The answer is no he won't change, and you'll have to either put up with it some more, or get out of the situation.
2006-08-25 01:51:55 · answer #6 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is too tough to answer without knowing all the details. You're best bet is getting counseling. If he won't go then maybe there is no hope. But if he truly loves you, he'll want to work it out. Good luck.
2006-08-25 00:17:04 · answer #7 · answered by whcastle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Tammy, I think you should change, you should be happy after 8 years. Go find an older guy who is stable, financially secure, and single. You could be much better off. IM me for further discussion.
2006-08-25 00:15:12 · answer #8 · answered by captcruzer 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What caused him to change for the worst in the first place?
How often do you verbalize that he is immature and a monster? It could have a lot to do with his demeanor.
2006-08-25 00:20:24 · answer #9 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you've just about had enough, 8 years is along time if has hasnt grow up now and taking responsbility he never will. all the best, follow your heart
2006-08-25 00:16:00 · answer #10 · answered by bec81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋