Am feeling soooo low to day...., i know he's weekness is communication and he's an accountant with load of work, i have been playing a low profile over it but yesterday i BUST out on the phone, i called him at around 11.pm and he was heading to his house, i complained to him why he never gets back to my text messages and mails and insisted its bse he's busy,he says he loves me,shld i buy it? after the phone call since last night he hasn't communicated to me, am dieing inside, what can i do to make things better? he wants me to have he's baby, how will he care for the baby when he has no time for me???!. please help with geniuen answers! thanks alot.
2006-08-25 00:03:47 · 12 answers · asked by kiss me. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
move on with your life... it is best for you...
find someone else that will love and respect you and will give you the time you both need to make a success of a relationship...
2006-08-25 00:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your smothering him.
If you dot give him some room to breath you will lose him. Remember how well he got along without you? You know before you met?
Try this: go buy a plant, fertilize and water it every hour and watch what happens, do this for a week. Besides averting your attention from him for a while and giving you something to do besides obsessing about your relationship you may learn something.
What do you do when your not testing and e-mailing him 24/7? You want him to respond to you? Let him be for one day, no calls no text no e-mails, can you do that? He'll rush over thinking your dead, then when he arrives you can both give your plant a nice burial because you will have killed it, with kindness.
Don't do the baby thing until you get married, some men pull the stunt that they don't believe a woman truly loves them until they have their baby, then what? Don't get married until I find the one who loves them best, by that time they have babies all over the community and father none of them.
This may be a blessing in disguise, don't call, don't write, if he gets back to you before the plant dies then their may be hope for you both, nurse the plant back to health together as a project if it lives you are nurturing if it doesn't well it's not a baby.
2006-08-25 00:21:23 · answer #2 · answered by dhebert244 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a man, but had to say something. It may be true, he may be really busy, I'm an accountant and some days I don't stop all day, even for a drink, but I do leave the office to go home and he could text then or first thing and let you know how busy he is so you don't feel neglected, surely he can call you whilst travelling - walking or hands free driving.
As for a baby, alarm bells are ringing...don't have his child and be saddled with it until he shows you more committment, consideration for your feelings and spends some time with you or you know yourself, you will be stranded and left to cope alone. Which will make it all the harder on you and the baby to start afresh with someone else.
2006-08-25 00:10:58 · answer #3 · answered by Lee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him alone. No one is THAT busy! A relationship has to be nurtured if it's going to work out. All the signs show that he's just not that into you. This is not going to be easy, but you need to do this to find out. Stop calling him. Don't see him. If he does contact you, tell him the same thing, you're just busy. If he really wants a relationship with you, he will change. This is going to be very hard to do, but MUST do it. That way you don't waste your time with him, let alone have a baby with him. You will be miserable in the end. Better to find out now, then to regret it later. Straigten up, pick your head up and move on. You might just let the guy that will make you totally happy get away if you waste too much time here. Good luck.
2006-08-25 00:14:20 · answer #4 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know somewhere inside you are doing the wrong thing by calling. Its not easy to 'not' give in to your insecurities at this time but its the only chance you have right now. He will be feeling smothered by you and when that happens its hard to see what you love in a person, so consequently you are actually pushing him away. Is this a trait of yours' in relationships? That's a question for another day. The best thing you can do to stop yourself ruining this relationship is, when your mind starts going into the insecure place we all have and you feel like calling him for reassurance (which is really what you are doing), tell yourself you WILL call him BUT not right now......Say in your head, I will call him but in 10 minutes, in 20 minutes, in half an hour, leave it until after your lunch....after you watch this programme....after your shower.....after you come back from a walk to clear your head etc....This is a good exercise for you in self control as these feelings will pass if you stop giving in to them and it will also give him the space he needs to see more clearly how he feels about you and miss you also. Hopefully what will happen by practising the above is, you will no longer need to call when you feel that way you will cope with it and in turn you will have allowed him to show you how he feels and as a result you won't feel as insecure. Jump of merry-go-round and take control. Good Luck
2006-08-25 01:13:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you, he will tell you and find time to text you. It only takes a few minutes, and less then a minute to text you, " i love you". I hate cutting the guy down, i haven't heard his story, but if this is all true then he doesn't know how to love you the way love should be. I think loving is wanting to know everything about that person and communicating with more then anyone in the world.
Don't have a baby until things change, if they do. Don't be his Baby Sitter.
2006-08-25 00:26:59 · answer #6 · answered by Terry 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is someone who is messing with you. If he says he loves you but doesn't even reply to you, then there is something wrong. 11pm and he's on his way to HIS house? Not yours? you are not living together obviously - and thats the best thing for you as you can move on. Some men are not good communicators - it's true (guilty party writing now!) but he sounds just a bit too far down that road to be any good for you. As for children - FORGET IT with this guy - it will be the biggest mistake ever!
You are worth more than he is giving, so don't accept it. Hold your head high and socialise a bit - someone who cares will soon find you. Take care and good luck.
2006-08-25 00:16:48 · answer #7 · answered by pyronaught2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have his baby, are you crazy?
If this guy loves you he would make the time to contact you .. it is RUBBISH to use work as an excuse .. I work all the hours god sends and yet I still make the time to speak to my partner, even if its just a little text to tell her I care and what time I will be home etc.
If your relationship is struggling now the pressure of having a baby will destroy it and I would imagine that as you seem to be doing all the work it will probably totally annihilate you as well (in terms of health, sleep, emotional strain) .. I think you seriously need to consider whether this guy is worth it at all before you go any further ..
if a man cant look after his lady .. he really isnt worth your time ...
2006-08-25 01:53:06 · answer #8 · answered by enzuigiriuk 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you married, or dating. Maybe he is working hard to make a good life for yhou both. You need to be patient and not call him too often. When you do get to spend time with him tell him how you feel. Later in the relationship you might not need to hear from him so often.
2006-08-25 00:08:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is quite simple, having read your previous questions... you are way 2 needy, either change, or go find yourself a guy on benefit, who will allways be around for you. maybe if you found something to do like charity work, you wouldnt be so needy..
2006-08-25 00:12:23 · answer #10 · answered by yeah well 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋