2006-08-24 22:56:00 · 19 answers · asked by prince a 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i married a woman with a son and a daughter, they have nothing to do with their real "father" they call me dad cause they wanted to. I think of them as my kids. if you love her you have to love all of her, that includes her children. don't (and i am not saying you are) but don't be the wicked step-dad, be a loving dad. listen to them as whatever their saying is the most important thing there is btw i have the honor of walking my daughter down the isle in 2 months.
2006-08-24 23:09:52 · answer #1 · answered by strummersworld 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent guys will wish to marry a lady who is type, clever, self-sufficient, expert, confident, funny, and completely happy. They is not going to care if or why you are divorced. Simplest a real creeper would demand to look the forms. Do some soul-shopping and ask your self why the divorce happened. If a few of it came from you, then ask yourself how you can work on those matters (perhaps you obtained married too young, the 2 of you failed to control cash accurately, there were communique issues, and so on.). I wouldn't care if I fell in love with a divorced guy, however I admit that i might be further-definite that he wasn't making the equal mistake(s) twice. I might by and large be very reluctant to marry him if his first marriage failed given that he was unfaithful ... But when the crisis was without problems that he obtained married too younger and so they weren't particularly right for each and every other, then howdy, stuff happens.
2016-08-09 12:33:09 · answer #2 · answered by capoccia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the father is still involved then give him room to be the child's father. You can be the 'father' in the home, but you can't ever replace the relationship that the child and the biological child has. Make sure you know what you are getting into! I have been a step-mother for 22 years and it has its joys as well as its problems. I must have done something right though....she asked me to be her matron of honor at her wedding....that was quite an honor for me! Give the relationship time to grow.....it will be an adjustment for all of you. Find out how far the Mom wants you to go with discipline, etc.....then take it from there. Make sure you show the child and the Mom lots of love!
2006-08-24 23:02:54 · answer #3 · answered by cornerstonefaith1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Treat them as if they are the world to you. Try your best to treat your new stepson/daughter as if they were your own. Just remember, the mother will have more control over the kid because they both know that you are not the father, but if you are willing to be there and help them, then everything will be fine. It is not that big of a deal, just remember that the kids other father will be in the picture and the mother will have to talk to him, so it would be best if you could develop some kind of civil relationship with him to show him that you are there to love the child, not replace him as a father. Just take it slow and be happy!
2006-08-24 23:34:52 · answer #4 · answered by ceecee_41004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you truly love each other. It is not effecting just the two of you, but the life of an innocent little child also. If you marry, work hard at it and stick it out when the times get hard. They will get hard,there will be issues at some point that come up with the ex, and you need to be able to communicate and work through things. A blended family is very complicated and takes a lot of work. Make sure you know each other well, before you say "I do".
2006-08-24 23:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by Tina G 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do your homework and ask why her first marriage failed. Then make sure you don't throw it in her face when you two have any type of disagreements. Make sure you understand that her kid will be fully your responsibility and don't act up when the biological father wants to spend time with the child as long as it's not causing problems in your home. Extended families are hard to manage but through love it's very fun and loving. Just pray and everything will be fine
2006-08-24 23:20:38 · answer #6 · answered by Ms. Essential 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
always remember that you are not the childs father and so don't act like it. You married the woman but she came as a package deal with the child, so love her and her child, but let the father of the child be a part of your family only for the good of the child. If you try to shut the father out of the picture the child will resent you and your marriage will be hard. Be a bigger person and a better man.
2006-08-24 23:02:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congrats. But discuss how this child will be disciplined BEFORE you marry. You didn't say how old the child is, but if he/she is not an infant, than matters of discipline could create a problem in your marriage. You don't want "you're not my Dad" constantly thrown in your face. Also you'll need to know how your new wife would feel if you spanked or grounded,( depending on the childs age,) HER child.
2006-08-24 23:06:36 · answer #8 · answered by sparkie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Presumably you know them both well and have spent time with them as a 'family'??? If so and you still want to get married you must be happy with the situation. If you are not happy or do not yet know the kid/mother that well then slow down. If you rush into marriage you and they could very easily live to regret it.
2006-08-24 23:00:13 · answer #9 · answered by patti_felz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't expect to step in automatically assume the role of 'Dad'... allow your wife to deal with discipline issues from the start.
At first, approach your stepchild as a loving and supporting adult and eventually, your relationship will develop to that stage where you can discipline (not beat) without any drama!
2006-08-25 02:57:45 · answer #10 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋