Is flirting really unacceptable when you are married?

Question

I admit I am a bit of a flirt, always have been, but my husband gets so angry about it, but that's what I was like when I married him. Why cant he except me the way I am? How can I stop being me just to please him, its not as though he would change any thing about himself that I didn't like?

Answer 1

Flirting is healthy, if it is part of who we are we cant just switch that off to suit another person you are denying part of who you are by doing that and he fell in love with you as you were. Just make him aware that flirting is all it is, there are no reasons for insecurity because there is nothing beyond the wordplay. Flirting makes us feel alive, engaging in it boosts our self confidence and enhances our feelings about ourselves. Its when the flirting becomes more that the problems start.... And if you still flirt with him then he should have nothing to worry about.

Answer 2

I flirt all the time and so does my husband. But that's because we have an agreement, we flirt we go home we are together. If your husband doesn't feel comfortable with you flirting, tone it down. Before you leave this world your husband will have given in and made many changes for you. It may be nothing but wiping up the sink when he get finished shaving but he will. That is what a marriage is about. Doing things for each other that make the other person more comfortable, even if you wouldn't do that if they weren't going to be home. Marriage is about compromise, and if neither one of you is willing to compromise the marriage will not work.
Talk to him find out if it is more than just the flirting. It may be a certain thing you do that bothers him, and if so stop doing it. And when you complain that he is doing something that bugs you, you will have a little ammo. "Hey I stopped _________ for you." Try the compromise I bet you'll find that it works. Just remember compromise goes both ways.

Answer 3

I look at it like this. If a woman flirts but is not available, then it's false advertising. If you are off the market, then you should not be too serious about flirting. A little may normally be ok, but if you married him, then perhaps you should have known him better and known that he would not like you to be a flirt with other people.

Now, if you were a swinger or had an open marriage, then it'd be different, but it sounds like your husband wants you to be exclusive to him. If you do not want to be exclusive to him then why did you marry him?

Answer 4

a little bit is ok, but not a lot. If your husband did the same kind of flirting that your are doing with a women would it bother you. If not then its probably ok. However, if it bothers him than you could try to change a little, its not like he is asking you to change jobs or religions, just stop flirting so hard core. Or flirt with him even worse so he does not feel so jaded.

Answer 5

Flirting is just a way of making interaction with other people more enjoyable. It's sad that your husband feels intimidated by your flirting, though I'm willing to bet he flirts when you're not around. Does he believe that he is unworthy of you and that your flirting might result in his being left behind for a better model? If that's the case maybe you can reassure him and help boost his self-esteem in other ways?

Answer 6

You shouldn't flirt when you are already married. Single yes, but married no. I can understand why your husband gets angry, I would too. Who would want your wife to be flirting with some other guy? Would you want your husband to be flirting around with some lady?

Answer 7

It depends on how you define flirting.

But generally, flirt is something you do or say to lure and court someone you are interested in "sexually".( whether you end up doing what you say or not is entirely another story) so based on this , do you think anyone would be happy if they found out that his or her spouse is saying something of a flirt and luring attention to somebody else sexually?

And based on the above defination, Would you be happy if you see him flirting with other women ??
Yap, you flirt before you married him, but lady, at that time, he doesnt has the right to be angry because he was not (yet) your husband, but now, be in his shoe, I dont blame him for feeling not happy if he found out that you, as his wife, flirt with someone else, he will be hurt and green with jeoluosy......so if you care about his feelings, at least, dont flirt when he is around, it is just not acceptable by any husband in the entire universe....

Hope you understand the difference. ..... God bless and think about the difference before you decided to flirt in front of him.....

Answer 8

I'm a male nurse in a predominately female orientated occupation. I have a great time with my female colleagues and flirt all the time, but it is all in fun and ends at flirting. I love my partner very much & she often comes out with me when the staff have a night out. I openly flirt then too, so it's not as if I am doing it behind her back. I feel I am a fun guy and its's all harmless fun....As long as you DO NOT step over the mark!

Answer 9

It is unacceptible anywhere especially for married couples. Once married, you do not have any reason to flirt. By the way what do you want to achieve to have other men admiring you when you have your husband? Is it just to satisfy your ego or to make up for something missing in your life?

If you see your husband flirting in public places with your friends around, would they hail you or desire your kind of marriage? What would you teach the younger ones morally?

When you are married, it is no longer "I" but "We" . Be happy and enjoy each others attention.

Flirting is TOOO DANGERIOUS. FLEE please before you destroy your marriage.

Answer 10

If you want to be married to him you might have to flirt a little lighter, not so heavily. To some degree, flirting is OK. Find out from him what is OK by him. Do no more than that.

You say you can't change yourself, but you expect him to change for you and accept your flirting. You should find that border - what is OK with both of you.