My mum had a stroke recently. She is immobile and dementiative from the hit. She is still on a feeding tube. Only my sis is available to care for her. But she is now pregnant. Nursing home is an idea I have right now. Not coz I like it but there is simply no one to care for my mum. Between getting a full time maid to care for her and a nursing home, I tot a home would be better. A maid would also be more expensive and I am currently financially constrained. But frankly, my heart bleeds thinking of my mum in a home rather than at her own home. And thinking of my dad without a companion who have been wth him for 40+ years makes me inhumane to say the least. Wat should I do?
2006-08-24 20:28:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ General Health Care ➔ Other - General Health Care
Seeing that your father is incapable of taking care of her, it's the only choice left. I know it breaks your heart to send her there, but that's the only place where you know she'll be taken good care of. You can visit her every week and that way you won't feel so bad or miss her.
2006-08-24 20:32:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like that is your only choice. I would suggest you go and visit one and just sit there for awhile, like an hour, and see how they take care of the. The nurses are few, and busy writing reports, the ones taking care of your Mom would be those that are not as trained, and make litte money. They do not have a lot of time either. People like your mom can get dehydrated, because they cannot ask for water. If the feeding tube has water too, then that is better. If they do not get turned very much, they can get bed sores, which can kill them. It might be that you could get a helped to come in some oif the time. It costs a lot for nursing homes, and you feel that you have to be there all the time to see how she is doing, and you still do not know for sure. They just do not always get the individual attention that you think they are getting, but, sometimes that is all you can do. People do not live very long in the nursing home. They can pick up germs also there, and such, viruses run wild. I don't know honey. My mother was in one to learn to walk again, but she did not last 6 months and died. Investigate the expense and the care first. Unless she can get on some kind of aide, it can be as much as $5,000 approx. per month. This is Calif. prices, so it might be less in your area. Good luck. The hospital put my mom there for rehab. to learn to walk again, but she went down very fast. It was her time, I tell myself, but I would love to have her back. If their home is paid off, they could get a Reverse Mortg., call a mortg. company that specializes in this. Even if they still owe some, they can still do it.
This would give you income monthly, that could be spent for a home health care person. Also Hospice is good, as you do not have to be dying for them to help you. Call them up and ask about that too. The nursing home would be on the bottom of the list. The Reverse Mortg. is for senior citizens and regulated by the Government. It for seniors that would not have to sell their homes to get money from the sale of their home, they can do this, and get the money. Someone can explain it to you, but please get someone who specializes in this, or they will not know what they are talking about. For each county there is a limit, and depends on the age of your Mom, if she is the younger. Also the value of the home. It is all about the home, and not the credit or what your parents make. Just go over the options. Especially if you heart bleeds over this, and your Dad wants her there. You could loose them both very shortly, if split up. Good luck. You have to do what yo have to do, so don't blame yourself. They will be called home no matter what, and be in a better place. When it is our time to go, we go to a wonderful and beautiful place.
2006-08-25 03:46:13 · answer #2 · answered by shardf 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do what you feel is right. If the money is absolutely so tight right now then go for the practical way. But like you said, it would break your heart for both of your parents. Money isn't everything, sometimes the only way is the right way and the right way usually costs more. Think of what you would want when you got to be that age, research the home well. There are too many horror stories of neglect in the nursing homes. If you can afford it right now, I would do a home nurse. Familiar places with familiar people usually does a person good.
2006-08-25 03:34:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry ur facing this. I really think the family should pull together and hire a nurse and alternate care with family and friends. If u attend church, maybe a few parishioners would be willing to assist a few hours a week as well. I really think a nursing home should b the LAST resort, but if that is what u have to do. Make sure to check on her on a regular basis and like on Answers-ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS!!!! good luck ;-)
2006-08-25 03:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by Di 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put her in a home, she will get medical care there. There are some places that will take the partner too. Dad can play shuffle board and hang out with the boys and still spend evenings with his wife. Not a perfect solution, by far, but is necessary.
My Gramma had home care come in a few times a day to help with my Grampa, but she was able to care him a little.
2006-08-25 03:37:12 · answer #5 · answered by Nicky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi
Don't wory! You should send your mum to nursing home. At least in the nursing home, there are nurses and doctors to take care of her. I give you a few recommendations of nursing homes you can look into it.
1) Ju Eng Nursing Home,
2) Munt Fat Thong Nursing Home
3) Evergreen Nursing, etcs
From a Kind Nurse
2006-08-25 04:35:51 · answer #6 · answered by Happy Gal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off...think of it if you were in her shoes...she would quit her job to take care of you and your gonna put her in a home? no no hire a nurse...you know how badly some of the homes treat people? you do what you have to do in order for her to get a nurse in her home...don't treat her bad...she deserves the best....and the home is out of the question don't disrespect her like that and don't be selfish with the whole $$$ thing just do it...it's for your mom
2006-08-25 03:33:30 · answer #7 · answered by kawika712 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If in home care is medically feasible, and you can at all manage to afford it while keeping yourself housed, do it. She might really NEED to be in a home or other long-term care facility later on, but for now give her and your father as much comfort as possible. Life and your time with her are too short to be overly concerned about expenses.
2006-08-25 03:38:18 · answer #8 · answered by emily_brown18 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
does your mum have health insurance? will it pay to have round the clock in home help like a visiting nurse where they would take shifts? or at least someone to come in at night? does your dad work? can he care for her during the day? if not see if a nurse can come in during the day and a different one at night so your mum and dad have early evenings free to spend together good luck to you
2006-08-25 03:35:19 · answer #9 · answered by oceanlady580 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try your best to get a full-time maid.
After my grandpa lost my grandma, he was the saddest man in the world. It broke my heart to pieces everytime I saw him.
I dont know, whore yourself out. Get some extra $$ for a maid.
(kidding about being a ho)
2006-08-25 03:33:21 · answer #10 · answered by tombomber27 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋