My gf got married, she is trying to get the divorce but she is not doing much about it. How can I make her?

Question

Before you start judging me, put yourself in my position and feel what I feel. I love this girl, plain and simple, and we have been together for about 3 years. Her parents got her married about a year and half ago because of me, hindu and she, muslim. About a month later she decided to get the divorce and to come back to me. Then her parents sent her back to our native country, forcefully. After she got back, she still wanted to be with me and trying for the divorce. Her parents took the marriage certificate and hide it from her. She wants to get the divorce, and asked about it from her husband back home. But I think she is not asking for the divorce as strongly as she is able to and the husband is not doing it as fast. According to her, he has decided to divorce her. How can I do to make her demand the divorce ultimately the husband to speed up the process? Please, reply back with a solution for my advantage.

Before you start judging me, put yourself in my position and feel what I feel. I love this girl, plain and simple, and we have been together for about 3 years. Her parents got her married about a year and half ago because of me, hindu and she, muslim. About a month later she decided to get the divorce and to come back to me. Then her parents sent her back to our native country, forcefully. After she got back, she still wanted to be with me and trying for the divorce. Her parents took the marriage certificate and hide it from her. She wants to get the divorce, and asked about it from her husband back home. But I think she is not asking for the divorce as strongly as she is able to and the husband is not doing it as fast. According to her, he has decided to divorce her. How can I do to make her demand the divorce ultimately the husband to speed up the process? Please, reply back with a solution for my advantage.
PS. She made the decision to be with me in first place, I didn't ask her to

Answer 1

First of all she followed through with the marriage to another man.
I understand your feelings completely & I feel for you. It sounds to me like this may be a very long process & that's even if she's able to get divorced. How unfair of her parents to think she should marry who they see fit, instead of who their daughter loves. Now she's stuck in a marriage of convenience,
which is usually loveless. It's up to her to make the next move. You can't do any more from where you stand. I'm thinking you'll find out fast how much it is that she really loves you. You can't MAKE her speed up the divorce. She needs to do that on her own. Be patient only guide her, don't force her, or you'll lose her forever.
AHH HELLOOOOO
Maybe I'm missing something here but I don't understand the woman that is a couple of comments before me said she was muslim & that you have to marry within your religion. But then she turned around in the same paragraph & said you can't force anybody to do anything against their will. SO I ask which is it?
'THAT YOU HAVE TO MARRY MUSLIM?'
OR
'YOU CAN'T FORCE ANYONE TO DO ANYTHING AGAINST THEIR WILL?????'

AND BY THE WAY FOR YOUR INFORMATION THIS IS AMERICA LAND OF THE FREE LAST TIME I CHECKED AND WE DON"T HAVE "NO MAN" DOMINATING ANY MARRIAGE IN THIS COUNTRY WE ARE EQUAL FROM THE WORDS I DO

Shame on you women who don't lead your own life,.. but you find the strength to tell everyone else how they should be living!!
Don't get me started,- here I go,- got another question uhhh

Answer 2

Keep this in mind, for what ever reasons she is married and your on the other side of the table with your arms high waving 'I'm over here", She ackowledges, but fails to report is a sign that a pressured Woman can not think clearly to make the right decisons.
You appear to me as one that is very dominant and impatient for the fear of lsing what you may or can not have and that idea drives you insane.
Be wise, patience, because if you force her to get things rolling on the ball, how will she repsect you later down the road when you and her end up in a smiliar situation where the guy is wanting her to leave you.
Mistrusted guided judgement by default means you both lose in the long run.
There is nothing better than having the patience...she knows yo love her so let her be and let her find you and maybe one day you will see her walk up to you with a big hug and be so happy that it is final and she will respect you so much more for being there for her and having a clear understanding of her situation, but by no means do you pressure her into anything. Let it be her will and you wait for your prize diligently.

Answer 3

You can not force her to divorce her husband if she is not ready to. Maybe her stalling is her way of telling you that she is not ready to end her marriage. I don't understand your religions, but how do Muslim's feel about divorce?
There are many things that may be keeping her from leaving her husband and while none of them may have to do with her loving him, they are still her feelings and need to be dealt with.
You should talk with her and find out what the problem is. There may be more going on than you know. She is probably terrified and could use some support and someone to listen to her instead of everyone just telling her what to do and demanding she do this and do that.
Maybe, for once, you could ask her what she would like to do and let her know that with you, unlike with her parents and husband, she will be able to make her own decisions on what she would like to do with her life. If you let her know this, I bet she will be much happier about making the decision to be with you.
But please be sure that you mean it! Remember, she is a person and not a possession and as a person she should be allowed to follow her own feelings. If you give her back her gift of free will, she should be yours again!

Answer 4

Im not too clear...is the Husband in Australia and she is in her native country? I will assume that is the case.

Its a really difficult situation. The woman you love is constrained by her parents. If her parents were able to move her forceably out of the country, then they have a lot of influence over her. There is no way, a person can be forced out of this country if they dont want to go. This woman needs some help. I dont think its a simple matter of making her ask for the divorce more forceably. I think this woman is is trouble. She loves you and you love her, but if she goes against everything her parents demand of her....what is she risking?

You ask us not to judge you and put ourselves in your position. You need to put yourself in your woman's position. Where religous beliefs are concerned, it is very hard to have a free mind. Your lady is controlled by religious parents.

I dont know if there is an answer to this problem. Your lady needs to get out of her home country first. She needs to get back to Australia. If she is already here, then she needs to get some counselling. She has to learn to break the religous constraints her parents are holding onto her with.

All you can do is to be there for her. Its a terrible situation to be in, and no easy answers. And, I think it is probably even worse for her.

Answer 5

I really don't understand how anyone can let religion interfere in their lives to such an extend that it makes them miserable. If you religion doesn't bring peace and happiness into your life then change it. who or what exactly is forcing anyone to be a particular religion. if you are living in America, enjoy the "Land of the Free" and do what makes you happy and brings peace into to your life. My suggestion: move to some cozy little town in Main and live happily ever after, divorced or not. There's no law that says you can't be together because she's still married to someone she doesn't care about. and if her parents are too much of an influence in her life, it's time to cut them loose. - leave the past behind you - no regrets! Go for it.

Answer 6

Assuming it is a real question(and I have a few reservations)

You are caught in the collisions of different faiths and different cultures.

What is the solution? Money. Lots of it. Because you will be breaking the ways of society(always expensive) and abandoning
support mechanisms(always expensive).

You two would have to become love refugees(money always needed by refugees).

Breaking the law(money again) to both flee to an undisclosed location(can't tell parents or friends).

Actual success rate can be quite low(money not there or lost on way).

Usually best idea is to avoid having gf's marry others...

But if willing to risk each other for love and damnation(by family, faith, and society) not a consideration... go for it(learn, earn, and plan).

Answer 7

I am not here to judge you but I feel for you because you are in a bad situation but there should be a way that she can divorce him whether he wants it or not and theres nothing her parents can do about it does she have the means to divorce her husbandor if she doesnt have the means she should try legal aid or try to find a pro bono attorney I wish you well.

Answer 8

Why would she need the marriage certificate?

If she is in a Muslim country, she as a woman has very little rights or say about anything.

If it won't get her killed, you could ask the husband what is going on in their marriage, and if he wants a divorce.

Answer 9

well i thnk that ur decision of marrying her is very wrong bcoz love always doesnt mean being together sumtimes it do mean loving the person even after being seperated.and thats luv. i am not gettin philosophical but practical.u wont believe i was in a relationship of 6 yrs and then my bf got married and now v dont hav ne contacts but that doesnt mean i hate hi or want him to divorce her wife bcoz he too was forced.rather i that it was my fate for luving him wout being 2gether,

since u wantd an answer of ur advantage trhen just tel her that ur family is forcing marriage on u and u cant deny them for ne reason or b straightforward to her and say that u wont wait ne longer and giv her a time limit to get the proceedings as early as possible.ask her to *** and liv wid u and her husband himself wud giv her divorce bcoz no man in this world can bear it

beside this just be prepared for everythng that ur relationship hav to go thru bcoz she was a married woman for a long ago

Answer 10

You cannot make a person get a divorce. If she does not want to get a divorce, then you need to go separate ways and wish each otter the best in their future.