I'm 27 and in California. I got a DNA test with this girl I dated. I"m the father of her baby 100%. I'm not ready to be a dad. I don't want to be a dad. Not yet. I can't handle my own issues and barely make rent. She's filing for full custody and support...i don't want to be involved but shes offering me visitation because she saids it's best for the child to know who her biological dad is when the child is old can make a decision about me. She constantly sends me emails and texts all the time like we are together and gets jealous when i talk to other girls! She saids she doesn't like me but why in the hell does she keep harassing me...can i bring proof to court she is harassing me? Will that tell the judge to have me not pay cs and give up my parental rights? Is it true in california if you give up your par. rights you still have to pay for cs?
2006-08-24 19:31:40 · 8 answers · asked by Mike B 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
if i bring proof she is harassing me and tell the judge i feel it's best the mom and child have little or no contact with me. Can I get out of the situation?
2006-08-24 19:48:06 · update #1
she won't give up the baby for adoption...i have a daughter who is 4 months old...i haven't seen her but i don't want to see her...i'm scared and i don't know what to do? I don't want to be a dad! I can't be! I'm not ready! I wanted her to have an abortion in the beginning! why should i have to be responible for this child when i didn't even want it!
2006-08-24 20:15:59 · update #2
dude! i wanted the ***** to have an abortion! i'm ain't ready to be a dad! i can barely take care of myself!i also wanted her to give up the child to a 2 parent household but she didnt and wont do that! why do the men have to suffer we we dont see the kid? i haven't seen her and she's 4 months, yet i have been invited to functions i just cant because i ain't ready to be a dad!
2006-08-25 07:32:34 · update #3
You don't have to see the baby if you don't want to. Tell the mom that your personal relationship with her is over, don't email, don't text, you will see other women, and she is free to see other men. You can file a restraining order if she persists. You will still pay the cs.
Accept the visitation offer. You will have the legal right, but you don't actually have to visit, until after some time you happen to grow up.
You will pay the cs regardless. There is no getting around it. Get a better job, or get a second job. Avoid dating for now -- you can't afford it, and you don't do a good job with birth control.
2006-08-25 11:51:02 · answer #1 · answered by jessc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, not wanting to be a dad and not being ready to be a dad won't get you out of paying child support. The mother is calling you and sending you text messages because perhaps she's in love with you (why else would she be jealous if you talk to other women?!) She says she doesn't like you because she's trying to save face - she knows you don't like her, but she's torn. And if you think calling and texting is harassment, you've got a lot to learn. Even if you give up your rights, you still will need to pay child support. If I were you, I wouldn't even think of trying to get out of that - you'll end up in jail. The laws have gotten VERY tough on men who won't pay their share. I must say, for 27 you sound like a little kid. I would have guessed that 15 year old was whinning about all of this. Ya know, it's just tough luck that you can barely make it. You're going to need to move back in with your parents and make sure you make those payments. If you're smart, you'll be nice to the mother and work something out so you won't need to go to court. If you do it that way, she'll probably be kinder to you and not demand as much money. The more of a jerk you are to her, the more you're going to end up paying, trust me. Be civil. You created a baby with her, you ARE a dad now, at least biologically. The only thing I agree with that you've written is that you don't want to see the baby. I don't think you should either. You're not a fit parent and there's just no reason for you to be her life. I'm sure she doesn't want you for a father either, not now and certainly not later. I feel sorry for that baby and don't feel too sorry for the big baby ...you!
2006-08-24 21:10:43 · answer #2 · answered by Answers to Nurse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest contacting a lawyer for some advice on this one. One of my friends and his girlfriend got pregnant and he, too, was not ready to be a father. He gave up all parental rights and does not have anything to do with either the mother or the little girl, who's now 5. But this is in the state of Iowa and most laws are different in each state.
As far as the harrassment goes, you need to document each time she contacts you and do not contact her back.
Most importantly, make sure that you are making the right decision, not only for you, but for the child. Best of luck!
2006-08-28 05:06:35 · answer #3 · answered by heatherle74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. A judge will NOT allow a father to give up his rights unless she was to get married and the guy was willing to adopt the child. It sounds like you just need to grow up and be a man and face your responsibilities. Get a 2nd job if need be. You made the decision, along with her, to have sex and now you have to pay the consequences. It is not the child's fault. The baby didn't ask for a irresponsbile coward to be her father anymore than you want to be a dad, but that is just TOUGH. You need to grow up!
2006-08-24 19:54:15 · answer #4 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should of thought of that before now it's to late you just can't run and hide. No matter what the mother is like the baby did nothing to you and wont do nothing but love you if you let her you are plenty old enough to take care of A baby there are single mothers and fathers who are struggling everyday and still don't complain and try to get out of A situation that they put themselves into grow up.
2006-08-24 19:40:25 · answer #5 · answered by honeygirland 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you had unprotected sex with this girl, you were asking to be a daddy.
Encourage her to give the baby up for adoption so the kid can have a two parent home. Otherwise, you're stuck for the next 18 years.
Use a condom next time!
2006-08-24 20:10:02 · answer #6 · answered by skydivemommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your the reason the word LOOSER was invented!!! Or here's another one ever heard of it DEAD BEAT DAD? Or how about YOU PLAY,YOU PAY???? Personally you should just off yourself there's to many DEAD BEAT DADS in the world as it is.
2006-08-28 06:25:52 · answer #7 · answered by none 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
QUIT YOUR BITXXING YOU WANTED TO PLAY NOW PAY.
2006-08-28 10:34:48 · answer #8 · answered by tysgrandma99 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋