I have dated the same man for the last 4 years and he keeps all of his financial stuff secret. We never discuss money. His ex wife does his taxes and knows all of his financial info. She also does everyone in his family's taxes. She works for an accountant, but in what capacity, I do not know.
I am not as secretive, but have decided if he is going to be this way, my money issues is none of his business. He asks me about personal information from time to time. I never kept things so tight lipped until I met him. I think if we ever combine as a committed couple, he should be more open about these things. I believe he spends increadible amounts of money on his ex and the kids. Its just crazy. They are divorced x 6 years and she is remarried. Its almost like he is afraid I am going to find out something. Sometimes curiosity gets to me, but I ignore the urge to snoop.
I didnt even tell him I bought a new cell phone because I am aggrivated over his secretness. How would you handle it
2006-08-24 19:14:08 · 7 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
I am not poor, or dependent on him for anything. I own my own home and my kids are raised. I work as an RN at the same job for many years. I cannot figure out what his issue is with me knowing anything financial.
2006-08-24 19:19:41 · update #1
I would never say yes to a marriage proposal unless I knew he was financially sound and not taking me for a "sugar mama". My finances are in good working order and I have substantial amounts of money in savings. He could screw me over big time!
2006-08-24 19:31:21 · update #2
Before you get any deeper, you need to find out what kind of financial situation your man is in. After 4 years you should already have a good idea of how much he makes, how much he is stashing away or has stashed away, what his liabilities and obligations are. I see a BIG red flag here and a BIG stop sign. IF he is not willing to share this info then it is time to rethink your situation.
2006-08-24 19:24:16 · answer #1 · answered by sukditup 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I'm to blunt to try to be subtle about something like that.
You have every reason to be concerned about finances if you should marry him.
I say be open about it. Tactfully tell him your concerns. Mention that since he is so secretive that you have been wondering if he is having money problems.
Or something like that.
If you find out that he does spend a great deal of money on his ex and the kids, you may have to deal with that personally. It probably won't change after this long. But, he should contribute his fair share, as you would, in the relationship between the two of you.
2006-08-24 21:16:48 · answer #2 · answered by echo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 years is a long time not to know about his finances... Personally, I wouldn't stay with him. It's not about the money, it's about trust, communication, sharing and honesty. Not so great finances tend to be a sore spot in marriage... if that area isn't good while your dating, it's not likely to clear up after you get hitched.
Life is too short to spend being aggrivated and disapproving.
2006-08-24 19:25:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm, something weird is going on. Personally I would have an issue with his ex doing his taxes...he should hire a CPA like everyone else!!
If you are considering marriage then you need to know what the real deal is now. He could be in deep debt and it could become your debt. Better find out everything now. DO NOT GO INTO MARRIAGE BLINDLY! Watch out girl!
2006-08-24 19:21:24 · answer #4 · answered by LadyK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is none of your business until he proposes. At that point you can simply tell him you will not agree to marry him until he reveals why he has been so secretive about his finances.
I've got a friend who started dating someone recently who has been all up into his personal finances. She left her husband and has chosen not to get a job and has made it apparent that she is looking for another sugar daddy to replace the one she is leaving. He has since cooled on her and started looking to date others.
2006-08-24 19:22:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think there are subtle ways to make him reveal his finances. like tell him to look at a expensive car and ask him if he could afford it. maybe he will reveal something.
2006-08-24 20:47:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i will tell hoim straight to show me his income, and that is only because you been dating for 4 years !
2006-08-24 19:17:37 · answer #7 · answered by destiny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋