My husband is a great man, but when his parents are around, they spoil him, he let's them do his house chores

Question

We have lived w/ my inlaws before, and it's always the same. Now they're going through a rough time and need a place to stay. I'm ok w/ them staying w/ us and all. They're great folks but it gets on my nerves that they spoil my husband and kids. She tries to go over my decisions. Like there's no rules! I tell my husband to wash the baby's hands and she goes and does it for him. We just bought our house, and I want to take my time in fixing the back yard, getting it to look the way I want, and my father in law is already making plans to do stuff to it. "She" is buying all kind of plants for the house, I want to get a chance to choose! I find it offenssive that my father in law wants to go out on my back yard and start cleaning inch by inch. What should I do? they are supposed to stay w/ us for a couple of months, Should I just keep it to myself, or let them know that it bothers me. They are going through rough times, i don't want to be a burden. Should I tell my husband to talk to them

Answer 1

Sorry, but you bought the in-laws when you bought the man. The fact is that they want to contribute to your lives and for that you should be damn happy. I see nothing but enormous positives in this for you and I would KILL to have in-laws like yours.

The first Christmas my wife and I were together we went to her mother's house, and most of her family was there. I endured hours of insults, mainly in the form of "fa--ot" and "loser", from a bunch of drunken, stoned, tweaking, and otherwise intoxicated bikers and wanna-bees. I endured it quietly and played a duck's back. As soon as we were out in the car I simply stated that I would never go back to that house again. She agreed. I've never been back there sinse.

Her father and sister are definitely nice people, so I lucked out in that respect.

Your in-laws of course have faults and he has the advantage of having had the time to get used to them. As long as they do not try to harm your relationship with your husband (or as long as HE is able to handle it if they do) I suggest you let them be part of your life. Try going with the flow. If I were you, I would get the father-in-law out in that back yard and try to do it with him. It would be a great way to get to know him. If your husband is a good man, and I'm sure he is, well, the apple probably fell pretty close to the tree.

Answer 2

Here's what you do....make your husband a to do list that includes every gross chore you don't want to do. They'll do it for you thinking it's for him. Then once they are busy with that, draw out your own design for the backyard, and over dinner or something, explain to them that you appreciate them doing so much and if they want to tackle the backyard, here's what you would dream of it looking like. More likely than not, they'll do your idea and maybe even add a little something extra for you.

Honey, they are bored and want to help to feel as though they are earning their keep. That's how they were taught back then. Use it to your advantage. Then send them out for dinner, errands or a movie once in awhile so you can have some alone time with your own family to keep control. Grandmas and Grandpas live for spoiling their children and grandchildren. If you try to take it away, it's going to make for a miserable experience for everyone. You have to find a balance. Because if you put your foot down, you are going to hurt feelings and make the stay uncomfortable. And if you say nothing, you are the one who's going to miserable. I say be creative. Get a few chores done, a finished backyard and keep your sanity. Good luck!

Answer 3

If they are going through rough times, they shouldn't be spending money on your yard. They are trying to be nice to earn their stay with you. Tell them how you feel and that they need not do those things for you. Also ask them how long more are they going to stay with you. What are their plans of having their own place. I have a feeling they won't leave if you don't make a fuss about it and your husband is hoping you won't mind their staying with you.

Answer 4

You are tripping. They just want to help so let them. Tell them what you want done and let them do it. If that's all you have to complain about then your life is good. I bet you are the kind of person who complains about everything even if someone is being nice to you.

Answer 5

You need to say something to either them or your husband because if you don't it will only get worse, so speak now or forever be miserable. Good Luck!

Answer 6

LOL this is funny. u should watch a show called EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND. i think u will find the family in the show to be quite similar to yours. hilarious

Answer 7

go away for a while, come back, thank them, and enjoy!


When they are gone, you undo anything you don't like!