2006-08-24 18:42:32 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let them go swing... and you go obtain a lawyer.
2006-08-25 00:44:28 · answer #1 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are so many answers here based on pure emotion and no facts.
First, you should be flattered that your spouse thinks enough of you, and trusts you enough, to even broach the subject. This is probably a fantasy of theirs. If they didn't love, respect, and trust you with their emotions they would just go out and cheat. You need to talk to your spouse about why they want to swing. The common misconception by non-swingers is that it is because the sex is inadequate or they want to screw around. This couldn't be further from the truth.
Most all swingers will tell you the biggest turn-on is not getting some "strange" themselves, but rather watching their favorite pornstar, their spouse, have sex.
Swinging is something you do AS A COUPLE and is very unselfish. Cheating is a selfish act that benefits only the one cheating.
One of the first rules of swinging is "if it doesn't work for either of you, then it doesn't work for both of you". Coercion and manipulation is highly frowned upon within the lifestyle.
Swinging is not cheating. Swinging is having sex with others WITH YOUR SPOUSES KNOWLEDGE AND CONSENT. Cheating is having sex with others behind your spouse's back. Swinging is honestly, cheating is lying. Big difference.
Swinging is not replacement sex, swinging is additional sex. Swinging is having such a great sex life together that you want to share it.
Swinging is getting over yourself and petty jealousies. Jealousy is a symptom of neurotic insecurity. It's control over another just so that you don't become uncomfortable. "Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive." - Havelock Ellis
You don't have to swing to not be jealous, but jealousy is often the biggest reason people make uneducated, emotional opinions about swinging.
Swinging is living-out fantasies.
Swinging is about honest and open communication between people. Imagine, if you can be honest with your spouse about thinking someone else is sexy, imagine how easy talking about money would be?
I could go on an on.
In response to the ignorant comment above " this leaves the horny, can't get a job to save my soul, down and out, large and toothless people." Swingers come in all shapes and sizes, ethnicity, and backgrounds. They are not jobless trash. In fact,the average swinger is college educated and has above average income.
In short, swinging isn't for everyone. Sex surveys have shown that as many as 40% of men and women fantasize about swinging, sex with multiple partners, etc. BUT, less then 1% of the population is actually swingers. For some, the fantasy is better left just that... a fantasy.
For others it is a lifestyle that brings them closer together and makes sex between them even better.
Don't listen to those with no first hand knowledge of the matter, they are just giving you an opinion based on fear and ignorance of the subject. Do some reading. Below are some links to information about swinging. Read it and make up your own mind.
2006-08-27 06:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Point out that it's not all it's cracked up to be. "Pretty people", who have their stuff together are not out 'swinging'. Which means that leaves the horny, can't get a job to save my soul, down and out, large and toothless people to choose from. Not such an enticing thought when you put it that way now is it? If he/she is still insistant upon it, visit a swinger's bar and see for yourself. The worst that will happen will be the two of you getting a good laugh. Then go home and rent porn like the rest of us do.
2006-08-25 01:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Couples who swing may seem like they have a ton of fun and a great relationship, but catch up with them 5 or 10 years down the line, and they will all be divorced. From older people I know: don't do it.
2006-08-25 01:45:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
My husband of 8 yrs recently approached me about swinging. I of course was very hurt and angry because I thought, Am I not enough woman for you? I am definitely not over that.Still trying to figure things out.
2006-08-25 01:57:10 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know! If you are even remotely considering it you should have a huge deeply emotional conversation about all of the consequences and actions of doing something like that. How you predict you will feel after that and realize that you are altering a relationship which isn't always a bad thing.
If you are a jealous type, don't do it!
2006-08-25 01:46:25 · answer #6 · answered by Beano4aReason 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well it all depends on if you feel open enough to try it if it were me, absolutly no! maybe your spouse wants to be with someone else and just threw that at you to see what you would say. i would get some counseling for the both of you and find out what this is steming from
2006-08-25 01:46:56 · answer #7 · answered by meljermel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex is sacred. It is a bond between a husband and wife that shouldn't be shared with anyone else. I would leave my husband if it was something he kept trying to persue. Sex is a bond meant for only two people, it ruins love, it ruins the heart, it ruins the beauty of the intimacy if other people are brought into the picture. The surest way of ruining how great your sex is, is to experiment with it with other people. :(
2006-08-25 01:46:39 · answer #8 · answered by Kendra 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO!!! Why get married if u want to screw around.....thats a deal breaker! Then people will get jealous and b4 u know if ur divorced! Work together on spcing things up, u dont need others.
2006-08-25 01:45:27 · answer #9 · answered by nicole 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well....i think that i would say swing on down to the lawyers office on the way to the party,,, We have something for you to sign.....
good luck
2006-08-25 01:56:56 · answer #10 · answered by eejonesaux 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋