this is embrassing but i have been married to my husband for 3 yrs this month and for the last six months..?

Question

he does not want to have sex with me.. he will not have sex with me unlesss we fight about it first.. i am a little over weight and when he gets mad he calls me fatass or a cow or lardass, but then when he ain't mad he tells me he is hurting in his back or something, and just don't feel like it i feel like it is me but he swears it ain't me at all, and tells me how good i can make him feel but he still refuses to have sex i don;t know what to do about this i never had this problem before with him he has just started this in the last 6 months we been together 6 yrs

Answer 1

If you were just dating, I'd say get rid of him. Since you're married it's a little more complicated. I think you should go to counseling to see what his underlying issues are. Maybe you can join a gym together? Obviously he is turned off by your weight, but he may be using that as an excuse for more serious problems. It might be an affair, like some have said (so do your checking around) but it might be other personal issues that he's dealing with as well. Counseling should help bring these issues out. It is very rare that anyone, especially men, loses interest in sex. More likely, they lose interest in the relationship, and losing interest in sex is just a symptom of that.

Answer 2

It is possable that he dosn't think you are attractive anymore. And that may not have anything to do with your looks. If he is unhappy in the marrage then he may focus on parts of you he finds unattractive and find it hard to see you as a whole person. Overweaight dosen't mean you are not attractive. And he has no right to call you those names. You should not stand for it. The facts of life are that you whould have no trouble finding sex elseware. Maybe you need to put it to hem like this. I am going to have sex, I want it to be with you, but if you will not give it to me i will seek it elseware. See how he reacts to that. It may help. Hope your situation gets better.

Answer 3

Are you comfortable with your weight? Is it compromising your health? Ask yourself these questions honestly. The answers will tell you what to do about it. In the meantime, your weight gain should not be an excuse for your husband to deny you intimacy. There is a deeper issue. Talk it out in counseling. If he won't go, go alone. The changes affected in you will change the relationship for the better one way or another.

Answer 4

Sounds like he may have some health issues. The drop in ones sex drive can be based in lack of the hormone Testosterone. It affects both men & women. & It can decline for many reasons.
Get him to get a check up. Men can be very goofy when things like this happen. His bad behavor may just be covering what he sees as a lack. But don't put up with it.

Answer 5

on my Gawd thats truly awful girl...
I say the seven year each came early for him..

Ive been with my man 6 1/2 years as well.. I got him under lock and key and we still have great sex. But I worry about the seven year inch I had a nightmare about it... Id be so heartbroken if my man stopped screwing cos he is tired of the sameol'sameol' Whats a girl to do :(

I say pocket some of his money and go shopping

Answer 6

Well i take it that your weight is bothering him and he only tells the truth when he gets mad!But when he isn't he acts like everyhting is okay.You should tell him to be more honest and if he isn't really happy with your weight you are willing to do something about it.And him calling you names isn't the way to do it how rude and disrespectful he is ,shame on him.That is cold and mean and shows no love towards you.And he needs to be honest with you resorting to names is so childish he needs to grow up.Like i said ask him and tell him to be honest with you and his name calling is going to stop you will not be treated no such way as that any longer.If he wants you to loose weight then he needs to be more understanding and perhaps help you out all he can.Good luck and i hope everything turns out the best for you!

Answer 7

Ditto.....YOU should not have to stand for verbal abuse!!! Let him know ASAP that his words hurt!! Maybe he has a problem with his own sexual functions and is afraid to tell you....Lot of guys have a harder time keeping it going or might be going impotent as they age....wherebys Women seem to reach the Peak as they get older! Have a heart to heart talk and be aware of the potential reasons that were listed by other people. For your marriage, I hope it is a problem that he is having a hard time relaying to you! Good luck!

Answer 8

when my men have started to put me down i have taken it as they have found someone else. start lying to him and tell him that hey guess what a guy flirted with me today or start looking for them to flirt and if they do let him know. some guys are so stupid that they need to believe that their woman is flirt worthy in order to appreciate them their selves.

also get a shower brush (exfoliate) and maybe some cellulite remover or take other measures to lose the weight a treadmill helped me, hula hoop etc.

Answer 9

i have been married too and we women have to accept it that long years of proximity and intimacy causes a lot of boredom to both parties.. i am glad that you still find ur husband desirable so i think it will be easy for you to spice up your married life.. there are lots of self-help books that are available in the market so i suggest you read one and follow their advise.. it will also help if you will learn the art of flirting and seducing ur man (remember those days when u are still dating??) and the first step toward it is to have a make-over, lose weight and believe that you are beautiful... good luck

Answer 10

You better start checking to see if he's having an affair. Don't ask, because 99% of the time they will never admit it. Start looking at credit card statements, changes in money spending habits, daily routine, etc., but if he thinks your checking on him he'll start covering his tracks, so be discreet.