Why do some married men feel there is a need to get attention from other women.?

Question

I caught my husband of almost 4 years, online chatting (sexually) with other women. He said it was only for attention. Then later said it was out curiosity, since he hasn't been in any other serious relationships with women, than ours.

Answer 1

WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, casually flirting, noticing a pretty woman, and loving attention from women is NORMAL behaviour that any attractive person will have whether they are a woman or man. I'm sure you have gotten hit on by a man and love every minute of it, even though you probably never wanted to actually cheat on your husband. However, what your husband is doing is crossing the line. To me, it is totally disrespectful to speak in a sexual manner with another person while you are in a monogomous relationship. No it may not be "cheating" per say, but how close does it need to be before he actually begins an affair?

Would he like it if you were on the chatline talking sexually to a sexy sounding man? I don't think so! Or maybe you wanted to have some sex convo with someone on the telephone-hey you are not CHEATING, but do you think HE would go for that? Hell No!

Stop it while you are ahead. Confront him on what is bothering you. If he realizes your side and agrees to stop then you can just chalk it up to curiosity. If he argues his side or believes there is nothing wrong with it and doesn't seem to care about your feelings, then you may want to start calling around for a good divorce lawyer, that is, unless you are the type of woman who stays with men who cheat lie and disrespect you.

Answer 2

Men and women want to feel attractive, so they will flirt or play around with the opposite sexto feed their egos (yes, women have some big egos, too). Tell him that you do not appreciate what he is doing and how it makes you feel. He may not be cheating yet, but it is heading there. But let's be blunt: What are you saying or doing to make your husband feel that he is attractive? Do you ever tell him that you appreciate what he does or just him in general? When he comes home at night, do you hit him with a kiss, and a time to relax or do you hit him with these bills need paying, and treat him as though his day was nothing compared to yours? Do you ever buy him special gifts or anything just because? Do you ever even think that men might like that kind of stuff? Most of the time when people do this, it is because they are getting this from home, so the first person they find that will fulfill that need will get their attention. Blow his mind by making him feel as though he is the most important and most prized thing in your life, and he won't want to look to anybody else to validate him. Don't BS him because if you don't believe in him, he will know it, and that is all most men want. Not an ego boost, or anything like that. They just want to be with somebody who believes in him. Guys, this goes for you, too concerning your ladies.

Answer 3

Some guys have low self esteem and need the constant boost of attention and face it -- it is exciting to get the attention, makes you feel good about yourself. And sometimes, when you are online, you can be that person that you wish you could be but are too shy to be -- but after that is all said and done -- it is still not right. There is no excuse for that -- its the same as cheating and dont let anyone convince you otherwise-- its emotionally cheating.

Answer 4

Because they need to have their egos massaged. Or their having a mid-life crisis blah blah. They seek validation from other women as is its proof that they've still appealing/attractive/whatever. But your husband shouldn't be chatting with other women sexually on line. That's a slippery slope. The next thing you know he'll want to meet her/start going to strip bars and god knows what else.

Answer 5

I hear this more and more and have begun to come to the conclusion that men do this to prove to themselves they still have what it takes to get a girl. It's like some sort of male ego thing. I don't think I'd take it personally, but I would tell him, out of fun, to try some of his best pick up lines on you that he's using on line and you could be the judge. I've also heard this to be addicting, so without over-reacting, simply tell him, that they are limits and you don't want to turn it into a trust issue with him. Then, without him knowing your game plan, start reassuring him with positive comments. If he hears them from you, hopefully he won't be so inclined to go online and need to hear them from someone else.

Answer 6

Insecurity, plain and simple. Maybe he feels the need to chat like that because then he will feel better about himself. The "I'm too sexy for my wife" bit. I recently caught my husband doing the same thing with his cell phone. He's thinking that he's not attractive or likeable because he's married. We go get our hair and nails done, they talk to other women. Honestly as long as it goes no further than that I wouldn't be too worried about it. He still loves you, he is just feeling insecure.

Answer 7

It's an ego booster, a adrenaline rush! Just like the same feeling you get when you first dated your husband and were nervous and anxious at the same time. Now you know what to expect from him, you know his every move and thought just out of habit. You met someone else and its a crazy rush even more so because you know that its "forbidden". thats why.

Answer 8

I guess we all feel the need for attention and to feel attractive. Also, most of us need excitement. And I guess we all get curious. Sometimes we'd like to kill someone too but, that doesn't mean we should do it. Would he like it if you did it? I don't like being judgemental but, I know it's wrong. Don't trust him. Ever. No go out or stay in and do what you want to do. : )

Answer 9

its a ego thing mostly or maybe the marriage is in trouble sometimes man not getting
what they want at home start searching else where. Men like sneaking around intil
they get caught.

Answer 10

Im sorry but if hes online chatting with other woman then you need to leave hhis *** because obviously if hes doing at home then hes doing them outside of the house also.