Everything seems to be my fault. Yesterday was a big moment in my childs life. She won a city level essay competition defeating students from as many as 240 schools some of whom were older than her because of the higher standard that they are studying in.She won amongst other things a Sony Handycam. On our drive back my husband said that she won because her expression is good, her knowledge of english is not so good.She would have been good in english if I had taken interest in her. He wants her to learn 5 new words daily.She does that on and off but that's not good enough for him. She has always been a topper but a finger is always pointed at me if if she loses a mark coz of a careless mistake 'u don't teach her concentration u don't make her practice enough' if there is sometrouble with boys then Iam not having a control over her. This is just the top of the iceberg,everything is my fault and no credit is ever given to anything I do or anything my child achieves coz of my training.
2006-08-24 16:50:09 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know that problem is some parents tend to wanna live their dreams thorough their children. Have you ever tried telling him about the way you feel, b/c i know women are great at puting up with mens crap, but evently you are going to get tired and could possible suffer a mental break down or depression..Believe it or not you are actually being abused b/c he is implying things about how you raise your child...personally i think you need'ta remind of who cared that child in them for 9 monthes....
2006-08-24 16:58:15 · answer #1 · answered by Jack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a perfectionist when it comes to your daughter. He wants her to be an extreme over-achiever and faults you when she isn't constantly learning.
This is actually an unhealthy obsession that is common in parents; where they become obsessed with competition of their kids and how much they learn, etc.
You should have a talk with him on how he need to adjust his attitude, that your daughter is doing very well and deserves sometime to be a kid. You should also let him know that you do have her practice but she needs to go off and be free and spend time being a kid just as much! She needs to have other experiences rather then constantly concentrating and competing in essays & such.
Inform your husband on your feelings; how you feel he doesn't credit you for the hard work that you put into helping your child achieve!
If he doesn't change after your talk or tries to over-power you with more of his ignorant assumptions that you aren't making your child practice, then I would suggest seeking professional help.
The reason I'd suggest professional help is because usually a counselor can get down to the bottom of these types of things and find ways to help families work them out and work together.
2006-08-25 00:16:48 · answer #2 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A husband who makes everything your fault is not worth of your love for him. If he can't have a healthy relationship with you, then he can't maintain one with your daughter. It will hurt your child to hear her father putting down her mother. Sit down with him and explain calmly that he needs to be more reasonable and he should not blame you for your child's mistakes. Try anything else and make a divorce your last resort. If he has a bad influence on the family nor does nothing to help your child, then take your daughter and leave.
2006-08-25 00:18:38 · answer #3 · answered by azngurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a perfectionist... everything's got to be perfect, according to his way of thinking... & nothing less than perfect would please him.
He's may be thinking he's mister perfect... & that anything your daughter does that isn't perfect, would have to be somebody else's fault, other than his own.
It sounds like he's in denial, concerning blame... & can't bare feeling guilty of there being anything wrong with himself... (it's easier on his conscience for him to blame somebody else).
He needs to face the truth about it.
You might want to ask him>>> since when did he become perfect, flawless... & without responsibility/blame concerning his daughter?
You may have to get the truth thru to him... reach him as best you can.
First, be sure to tell him that you're not attacking, not criticizing him, not saying it to put him down... the male ego/pride can be more delicate than many people realize.
So, if you decide to confront him with the truth>>> talk to him lovingly, tenderly, gently... in a kind & compassionate way.
Pride can be a hard & bitter pill to swallow sometimes.
2006-08-25 01:04:14 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband is a perfectionist you and your daughter will never measure up to his high standards. so don't try. Support your daughterand let her know how well she has done and how very proud of her you are. She won because they the judges felt she was the best. Your husband must be wrong!
2006-08-25 00:58:50 · answer #5 · answered by cin_ann_43 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
imagine how she feels.....i've been there my dad was the same way.......tell him he needs to lighten up on her or she will start rebelling against both of u!!!! i was always a good kid but nothing i ever did was good enough for daddy, to cut a long long storie short i ran away when i was 15 b/c i couldnt take it anymore! i didnt talk to dad 4 nearly 6 months and if it wasnt 4 mom setting him straight i probably still would not talk to him today!! so tell ur husband he needs to lighten up........shes a good kid.
also im 22 now and my dad is my best friend!
2006-08-25 00:08:43 · answer #6 · answered by SIS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry, but I had and the key word is had, a husband like that one time.. You need to tell him that it took two to make her, and it takes two to raise her, and not to complain, but to be the one to teach her what he wants her to learn if he thinks that you are not doing such a good job. And just walk away.. And that anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy... that will make him think... good luck sister....
2006-08-24 23:58:15 · answer #7 · answered by texas.okie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just really wants whats best for his child and I think he expects you to help with that. He sounds like he gets really competetive. Anyway, just talk to him, calm him down and see what that does for you.
2006-08-25 00:01:59 · answer #8 · answered by lady_ellie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
over driving and expecting to much is he like this with everyone?
Good Luck and God Bless!!
2006-08-25 02:28:18 · answer #9 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF HE IS GREAT WHY DIDN'T HE PITCH IN TELL HIM U ARE SICK OF HIS BETTER THAN U ATTITUDE SO GET LOST
2006-08-25 00:06:40 · answer #10 · answered by badbad_80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋