I am pro. firefighter. ex wants to take my daughter away. I have her every other day now. I try hard. Make some mistakes but nothing worth going to court over. Is it that bad to spend some time w/ my buddy and his family? Is it bad to have a little dr. pepper in the am? I love her more than anything. I do have a job. It requires me to be gone 24 hrs a day three times a week. When we are together it is awesome. Lawyer is helping, but this sucks. Help/ advice?
2006-08-24 16:38:44 · 13 answers · asked by good dad 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you love her, fight for her, because when she is older you wont have the chance to be as close to her as when she is little... and i think (from what you say) that you sound like a great dad, and you seem to be going about things the right way... Good luck ;)
2006-08-24 16:41:43 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of you needs sole custody and the other one needs visitation rights. This is for school reasons. But the other parent can have the child for the entire summer and every other weekend. You should get visitation regardless, but maybe it would be better to be the "good dad" and the "fun dad" and just try to get the child for the summers and the weekends. If you are gone 24 hrs at a time, then who will be with her? You must think of the best way to do things. You should be able to get visitation no matter what. Then when she is 14, she can come live with you on her own if she wants to. All this stuff also depends on how good of a parent that the mother is. If she is a good mother and you know it, she should be with her, I am sorry to tell you that.
2006-08-25 01:51:16 · answer #2 · answered by AveGirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from a divorced family, I would tell you to fight it.Your daughter will grow up one day, and all of this will be in her mind. She will know that you went through hell and high water because you love her.
I would try to talk to the ex, and come to an agreement if at all possible, and if not, then don't let her off the hook. Like the lawyer told me, don't do anything that your daughter can't go to, or see... and if you do go out, that is okay but make sure that whoever is watching her is respectable, and come in at a decent time. And believe me, nothing is worth losing her trust and her love. You might tell your ex that one day your daughter will be grown and she needs to have good memories of you both. She will question her own identity one day if it keeps on a constant fight.. good luck... never give up.. My dad did,, I never forgot....
2006-08-24 23:46:51 · answer #3 · answered by texas.okie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You would still have visitation with sole custody. Consider when daughter goes to school, she needs to good consistent bed time and home work time. It doesn't make you a bad dad at all. If you are trying to get out of paying child support thats lame. Lots of men hate to get kicked in the wallet...thats where it hurts the most. Dont' talk bad about her mom or that will make her feel uncomfortable to be around you. You will always be her DAD and MOM is mom. Parents need to get along for the kids sake. THANK YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL WORK AS A FIREFIGHTER.......
2006-08-25 00:00:42 · answer #4 · answered by c k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother is a police officer and went through this with his son. Because he couldn't take him set days of the week then his ex didn't want him to take him at all because it created problems with her. He fought for several months and didn't back down once even when his attorney suggested it and it paid off and the ordered read joint custody. He gets him the three days he is off, she gets him the four days he works, they switch like that. Your ex is just trying to wear you down but don't let her you have someone that means a lot more waiting.
2006-08-25 00:13:24 · answer #5 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just b/c ur male doesnt mean you dont have the same rights to see your child then your ex. If you think you can get full custody then go for it. If not, and you and your ex are on even playing ground then go for shared, I dont know why its assumed that the mother should be the soul custodian. I wish you luck and if you have family close by then you should have them be your baby sitter why u r at work. It just makes your case better, BTW where are you a FF at???
2006-08-24 23:44:27 · answer #6 · answered by another brick in the wall 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not fair to make a child suffer & not let her see you if she wants to. Your ex needs to lighten up and put her hatred (?) for you aside and think about what it's doing to your child. Just because she doesn't want to be around you doesn't mean she should keep your daughter away from you. It should be up to your daughter if she wants to be with you. If she is too young to actually tell you, and her mom, that she wants to spend time with you then you should be able to tell just by her actions, her smile & laughter when she's with you.
Every parent is going to make mistakes. We learn from experience.
Good Luck!!
2006-08-24 23:45:22 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi i am a mom and my friend with simuliar situation is going on . is she a loser? or a good mom? theres a difference. fight either way but if shes a good mom work it out for the kid as nice as possible
2006-08-24 23:46:15 · answer #8 · answered by mishy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had better fight tooth and nail for that little girl. So what if you don't do things HER way, you are her dad and she needs you. Good luck....
2006-08-24 23:43:34 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fight and keep fighting.
2006-08-24 23:41:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋