I wonder why my friends never take me seriously and treat me with respect. I was a nice, easy going person and doesn't treat people like crap. Why my friends often break appointment last minute with me and inform me the last minute and doesn;t keep their promise often?I will never do that to them because it disrespect. Are they taking me for granted, not important enought to show respect? When i ask for simple help from them, some didn't even make the effort to help me. I was left feeling helpless as i thought i was her best friend and she didn;t even care about me. What should i do?
Or is it me? Am i taking it too personally, too sensitive and petty? Too childish to behave such way (being jolly and nice)? How should i behave to change this situation in my life? How shall i convey the message to them to show respect to me? I definitely respect them. I am tired of being dissapointed...please help...
Your advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks.
2006-08-24 15:46:27 · 14 answers · asked by wishingforpeace 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
My dad once told me never to expect anything from anyone, that way, you'll never be disappointed.
2006-08-24 15:55:02 · answer #1 · answered by Moxie Crimefighter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line: A friend in need is a friend indeed. I have a short personal story to tell you. Recently I discovered a "friend" has her car and she did not call and tell me. Why am I mad, you ask? Well, my so called friends know that I am struggling, looking for a job with no car. Even when I hinted around that I needed a little help, she concluded the phone call by saying: "I think I took up too much of your time now." I asked her on her day off from work. She had a few days off and no call, no show from her. So, I don't think any of this is your fault. If you care about someone, you'll make sure you are there or let the person know way ahead of time that you can't make that date. Friends are supposed to be there for one another. I am glad to say I don't have many friends, maybe two if that,and you know what? I am fine with them odds. :)
2006-08-24 23:11:23 · answer #2 · answered by Golden Scepter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem and I started weeding out my real friends. I many not have as many friends as I did before but now the ones that I have don't bring me down. I meet new people pretty easy and I am so happy that I got rid of the ones that I was giving 150% and were giving me 30% back. Good luck!!!
2006-08-24 22:53:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know what causes disappointment? Are you aware that because of your expectation to reciprocate the things you gave to them, it caused you to feel disappointed. Many times, we expect people to return back the things that we give in which we need to change this kind of outlook in life. We cannot please everybody so I suggest that you try to lessen your expectations so you won't feel disappointed. Believe it or not, I always give, "I rather give than to receive" I feel great whenever I made someone happy in my own ways.
So I guess try to change for the better and you'll see the love and respect that you've been longing for. Of course, this is just an advise, the decision still yours to make.
2006-08-24 23:32:37 · answer #4 · answered by Heaven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you feel that you don't fit in with this group. Do you really want to fit in with them? Don't worry so much about how they treat you. Work on how you treat you. Do things that interest you. Get involved in group activities and personal goals. And be the best that you can be at doing them. You will find friends and acquaintances that share your interests openly and admire you for who you are. You have all that you need within you. Go for it.
2006-08-24 23:11:50 · answer #5 · answered by Paige2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can make you disappointed. It is allways your problem. Either you are expecting too much from your friends or you're putting yourself in a position where they will disappoint you. Either way that's a call you'll have to make but if you don't take ownership of this problem you're just going to remain a victim of their apathy. Either convice them they need to be better friends or get friends that don't suck.
2006-08-24 23:06:50 · answer #6 · answered by W0LF 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is because they don't understand the things you have been through. There is more to this question than the friends thing. Someone very important in your life has always let you down and you carry that with you to your other relationships.
2006-08-24 22:49:34 · answer #7 · answered by want it bad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can say from my own experience that it's your friends that have the problem. NOT YOU!!! I felt the same way. Still to this day i have people that i just met do the same mess. Then they call later saying that they were running late...OK then call me..don't leave me hanging. you need a better class of friends and that's it!
2006-08-24 23:45:16 · answer #8 · answered by poophead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I feel like there's something you are not saying. do you like your self? are you trying to be in the mix with people that's all about me me me my my. maybe you are to nice. back off don't deal with people that only need you around when they need a fall guy. maybe it's just you, be nice to yourself. maybe you are the kind of person if some one be nice to you, you just want go away. back off be nice to your self, respect yourself, can you read body language? try it sometime.
2006-08-24 23:19:38 · answer #9 · answered by zerrick_king@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try this, create a spreadsheet, even if its on a piece of paper. List the things that you did for them, and they did for you. If you did more stuff than they did for you, chances are your probably getting screwed.
2006-08-24 22:49:16 · answer #10 · answered by D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋