Why am i being dissapointed by people always? or is it my problem?

Question

I wonder why my friends never take me seriously and treat me with respect. I was a nice, easy going person and doesn't treat people like crap. Why my friends often break appointment last minute with me and inform me the last minute and doesn;t keep their promise often?I will never do that to them because it disrespect. Are they taking me for granted, not important enought to show respect? When i ask for simple help from them, some didn't even make the effort to help me. I was left feeling helpless as i thought i was her best friend and she didn;t even care about me. What should i do?

Or is it me? Am i taking it too personally, too sensitive and petty? Too childish to behave such way (being jolly and nice)? How should i behave to change this situation in my life? How shall i convey the message to them to show respect to me? I definitely respect them. I am tired of being dissapointed...please help...

Your advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Great answer from everyone..I am still figuring out what;s my problem though..
I think lots of people are so mature with their thinking. I am not strong enough to do those suggested,,hate myself for it..

Answer 1

i really wish I could tell you... I'm going through the same thing in my life right now... NO ONE will keep their end of a deal. I'll saw my arm off to keep my word, but I can't get the least bit of effort out of anyone else. I'm becoming convinced that my problem is that I'm nice.... and I'm taking steps to curb my "niceness"... I think you have to be careful not to swing all the way to the other side of things (where you are a complete jerk), but you have to make some small adjustments to how nice you are about things. I've made sure that all of my "friends" know that if i call them, and they don't answer or call back, don't expect to hear from me... unless I know that they usually would do that. If they break their end of plans, I'm not making the next plans with them. If someone is screwing me over, rather than making excuses for them, I'm trying to be more visible about the fact that inside it ticks me off. It's really hard for me to do though, because that's not what is in my heart. I think what we have to do is just take the initiative to come down on the people who are being crappy to us, let them know that it's not okay. We might risk losing a "friend"... but if we lost them over this, they weren't really our friend to begin with.

Answer 2

one of the best questions here!! OK..sounds like me many years ago..(I'm 50 now). ok remember the phrase..."nice people finish last" well many times in life that is true. People get used to a "NICE" person always being there, helping and so on...Yet in some ways they also feel they can get away with not recipricating because of course the "NICE" person certainly wouldnt be bothered by their inconsiderations...(note this is especially noteworthy in love relationships) In most relationships one person always is the "dominating" while the other is more docile and "NICE"...Mostly the dominating person takes the other for granted, expecting nothing to be made of it...since the other is sooo nice...(as they go out and cheat on you later on in life). listen.. bottom line is wake up now, speak up and say whats on your mind or be walked over all your life! thats the fact.Only then will others respect you and treat you that way. Maybe they all wont like you, but who cares? many will...

Answer 3

those in your life were post created. it was suppose to be. i realize how frustrating this is to you. what you do and say seems to not be seen or heard, on the contrary, please don't expect to be praised for your actions, you won't be immediately. you are probably another one of God' invisible beings. you are helping these people and creating a domino affect as well. don't be surprised if the credit not only goes unmentioned but entirely to someone else. you may think they've stolen your idea but in the contrary my dear, your message has gotten across. that's the ultimate reason you exist, you are in the wood works as oppose to the lime light. your impact on these people are critical, don't become so horrid, that you give into, the satan's theft machine. that's when you go off on a tantrum, they'll fringe inside and feel that their pillar has lost it. some will glorify in this thinking and saying; look our leader spirit's, it's been broken, and some will silently scream. it's the lonely route that you've chosen that is hurting you. continue your efforts, you are like an anibiotic, and some of them are immune, time for stronger medicine. God sees and hears all, please keep going. all the way over here, i am with you, and i cry and i pray alot ,because my post-life choice to be a martyr is no help to me at all. noones really taken much by our types, but they all seem to make use of us and that is, what it is. hug and play with a child believe it or not they know who you are, i feel it may be that kid, your siblings child. they are unconditional and that's because it hasn't been long since they've been out of heaven. we're in the middle in search of what we knew, and are getting further away from it as we get older, we forget but we are searching for what we know exist, someone who loves and knows us, and then we die and we smile, we found our way back,. have fun here my super being while you can and may God continue to shine thru you...

Answer 4

Let go. Trust is a pure thing. Disappointment is like a glass of water with a drop of milk. Suffering has many forms and sources, but it's your permission to feel pain that makes the suffering noticable. You have control. The world is chaos. There is synchrony in the universe. How much will you pound your head on the wall until you turn?
Some people live there whole lives in misery.
What's your choice?

Answer 5

there is nothing wrong with being happy all the time, if anything its a good thing! just try not to take everything to seriously. if your friends cant make an appointment then dont sweat it, if it something that happens frequently try talking to them and asking them if there is something behind their last minute plan breaking (hope that made sense). as for your best friend ignoring yourcall for help try talking to her about it, and if you need really important advice try asking your mother or father or close relative its always best to have a mature opinion from someone with experience and someone who only wants whats best for you. hope i was of help dont worry stay happy things will work out. you'll see. take care :)

Answer 6

there's nothing wrong with being a nice, sweet good person and respecting others. Some people was just not raised up as a child to be as nice and good as you. Try not to be so sensitive to everything that happens to you then, it will not bother how your friends act and if they can't treat you better then after all, they are your friends, why can you not talk to them? Or are they your friends? Try it pls for your own safety and health.

Answer 7

You need a new set of friends who will respect you and not take you for granted. Also, just be the way you are, don't change. If people treat you like crap, so be it. As long as you feel good about yourself in helping others, etc.

Answer 8

I had the same problem, heck I still do.
People are just plain mean & selfish, it's a sad fact I know, but yet so very true.
My advise? Drop your present company of "so-called buddies" and hang out with better friends.
Don't let this one incident get the best of you... stay strong & hold your head high. Continue to be yourself, don't let these people break you. It's their loss, move on.

Answer 9

Some people are disappointing & it also may be your problem. We all are sensitive at times. Try doing something for someone in a helping way without them knowing it was you. I guess you can try to help someone so they know you did it for them, but that is to get a reward for doing it. Focus on how you can not disappoint some one else that way. All the answers in yahoo are not rewarding are they? Ever hear or see "Paying it forward?" Try it & see.

Answer 10

We are disappointed in others because we expect them to act as we would or better than their characters are.To have a friend we have to be a friend. When you see these "friendships" not reciprocating when you ask them to help you then you are the one who is letting yourself be taken for grant. People will let you if you let them.