If both marriages are bad, no sex is involved, just talking and being their for each other when spouses are not. Does God consider it adultry? Trying to help a friend out and need opinions.
2006-08-24 15:33:32 · 19 answers · asked by polly b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well the mutual unhappy marriage thingy might need exploring... duh.
BUT the question is it wrong to have close friends??? Yes marriage means forgoing the friendship of any others... Oh I'm sorry that should be YES it is okay to have interactions with other human beings... the Bible I have studied actually encourages it. To keep company(with others of like views- friends) and to share that company with those that do not(but not to keep those as fellows whom we eat with and play with etc...).
The danger is in the platonic turning physical. Are this mutual support meetings being held in public with others??? Or are we hiding somewhere to talk? That to most might be a key answer by itself.
Adultery is usually defined as having sex outside of your marriage.
It is possible that one of the friends or both are mentally exploring this option in the hopes of...
Sounds like two marriages are on the ropes with possibly one or more of the spouses thinking they have possibly found something else...
Joint marriage counseling sounds way overdue... maybe group counseling as well(and those two can support each other in group).
God bless and good luck- sounds like it is way overdue.
2006-08-31 04:05:43 · answer #1 · answered by uncledad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a platonic relationship with anyone is not wrong. It is not commiting adultery. The important thing is to make sure such relationships do not hurt anyone and bring unnecessary and unpleasant issues to deal with. A person in an unhappy marriage will tend to find some solace in having some close friends especially of the opposite sex. It is quite normal. The more important thing for the person is to either save the marriage or if things have gone irreversibly bad then find a way to end the marriage (legally, of course!). That's a more sensible thing to do.
2006-08-24 16:04:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like an emotional affair.Yes they are real! If you want to keep your marriage fix it with your spouse but don't expect an overnight turnaround. If you don't want to be in your marriage don't ruin the other persons marriage. I think if a marriage is bad you should work on that before making an opposite sex friend. All you're doing is making things worse, your emotional needs are being fulfilled by someone other than spouse. Im guessing you both speak about your marriage issues...confide in each other it already sounds lile you're having an affair you don't have to be physical to have an affair and emotional affairs can be worse then physical. You're still married despite of the relationship being bad so there has to be something there still. If a marriage is worth fixing cut the friend out and refocus attention where it should be.
2016-07-06 07:24:55 · answer #3 · answered by Wild Child 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there's anything wrong with having truly platonic relationships with people of the opposite sex, no matter what your marriage is like. However, you should not be telling that friend about the problems in your marriage. I really think if you're having real problems, you should only discuss them with your spouse and a therapist. But you should never talk about your spouse in a negative light unless you're getting divorced, ie papers have been filed.
2006-08-24 16:55:17 · answer #4 · answered by gurugirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends. It's a very fine line to draw. Do you hide this friend from your spouse? Or are open to the fact that you have a friend of the opposite sex? And even there there's a fine line to draw. Do you talk say like girlfriends do? Or are you emotionally intimate with this other person? How close you are to this person can lead to cheating. Loving another person, even if you aren't physical in any way shape or form, not even kissing, is still adultery.
2006-08-24 16:05:00 · answer #5 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a religious person....but from my knowledge God thinks its a sin to covert another person. Covert means to think things....so you dont necessarily have to have sex, but if you have the slightest amorous feelings towards this other woman then in God's eyes it is coverting. If you want to go into it a bit more deeply. If you see a good looking woman on the street and look at her and think, man is she hot, you would go to hell because thats coverting.
I think it is the religious leaders and their interpretation of the Bible that cause a lot of people to have fear. I thought God was the God of Love, not of fear. And what about the people who interpreted the Bible...maybe they got a few words wrong. It has been proven now that a lot of the words in the Bible can have another meaning.
God would be the most intelligent being around. He is not a Nazzi, he gave us free will. He doesnt want to control us with fear...he wants us to love, he wants us to be happy. Now, if God is the most intelligent being in the world, then dont you think he is going to understand the goings on in a persons mind? Dont you think he is going to look at this world we live in and see the problems and accept that people deal in different ways?
I find a lot of the stuff in the Bible is quite hypocritcal...it has been a while since I read it, but wasnt it Peter who betrayed him in the Garden of Gethsamanie. And didnt God say that he who denies the lord thy God will go to hell? Peter denied Jesus, not once, but three times, yet isnt he the one who sits at the right hand side of God in Heaven? And according to the Scriptures, God, Jesus and the Holly Ghost are one.
You can go too far with sinning. I believe if it feels right to you, then it is right. You wont rot in hell for having a friend you can talk to....to discuss your problems. We are living in a pretty hectic world. There is so many problems and if you can find someone you can relate to, then it makes living that much easier. Marriages break down all the time, people covert all the time. Very few people would go to Heaven if the Bible was taken literally.
You are lucky, you have someone who you feel comfortable talking about your feelings with. It is not a sin to have a confidante. And even if you do have feelings for this woman, under the circumstances, we all need to have love in our life and just because one is married doesnt necessarily mean there is love. That sometimes disappear. What does a person do? Its good to have those feelings and if you dont take it any further, then whats the harm? God loves everyone, is that sinning?
Just be happy, and if this woman makes you feel good, then there is no sin.
2006-08-31 06:28:57 · answer #6 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes. God says wives are to be a HELP MEET to our husbands! God didn't put a clause in the Bible that if the marriage is unhappy, than you can turn to someone else to lean on even if no sex is involved. Close platonic opposite sex friends often lead to affairs... If the pastor saw your friend w/ their "friend" what would he say about it? No, it's not adultery, but it'd definitely on the road to it. Have your friend read CREATED TO BE HIS HELP MEET by Debi Pearl. Great book that discusses some of this "problem".
2006-08-24 15:40:14 · answer #7 · answered by breaker_1020 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is not as much wrong as it is inapprpriate. No matter how you cut it, it's still emotional adultery. In some cases, this can even lead to actual "physical" adultery.If the marriage has deteriorated to the point of nonexistence and neither spouse wants to work on it, it is better if they just went their separate ways instead of asking for more trouble by involving a third party into it..
2006-08-24 15:40:23 · answer #8 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop thinking about this non=exist ant God and realize its O K to Have a Platonic friendship with the opposite sex.
People need to vent and still need to believe that not all men or woman are bad .
If talking to your friend fills a void and makes you feel better DO IT.
Its cheaper than psychotherapy.
2006-08-24 15:41:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes because that could be an issue in reconcileing your marriage or both partners are going to assume the marriage is falling apart because of your platonic friend
2006-08-30 09:21:43 · answer #10 · answered by marrissa 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋