2006-08-24 14:15:05 · 22 answers · asked by lex 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave him and do it asap!! You don't need that kind of crap in your life. You can do better than him. Seriously!! Start a new life!
2006-08-24 14:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by The Mick "7" 7 · 18⤊ 0⤋
Caveat: I assume we are NOT talking about anything involving minors. I won't even go there.
You didn't give many details, but let me take a guess: he's into them, you don't want him to be. You might even pressure him into saying he'll give them up, then you find out that he's looking at porn anyway, and you get ticked off.
So are you here asking how to make him stop lying, or stop being into those things?
The best way to get him to stop lying is for you to stop pressuring him into agreeing to something that he's obviously not going to abide by. He's a grown man. If party poker (whatever that is - sorry, I'm not up on such things) and porn are seriously such a big deal to you that you can't handle being in a relationship with somebody who likes them, then end it.
That's a pretty silly reason to get divorced, but I suppose they could point to much deeper value differences between you.
Your husband SHOULD have already said this stuff to you, but I know this is an extremely common conflict and most of the guys I've encountered in such situations find it easier to lie than to make a big deal out of the conflict. If they're crappy at covering their tracks, it ends up being a bigger deal because of the more frequent conflicts.
Figure out what bothers you so much about these things and deal with the bigger issues. Is he spending money y'all can't afford? Being unfaithful in some way, emotionally or otherwise? I figure if he isn't keeping you happy sexually, but he's soloing with porn, that's a kind of infidelity.
Boundaries are reasonable. "No viewing porn while I'm around" or "I don't want to see one damned trace of it" (including the malware that is RAMPANT on most "free" porn sites). Or (if y'all can actually afford to spend some money on poker) "You get X to spend on poker, and I get the same to spend on whatever I like."
2006-08-24 14:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by TechnoMom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the porn.. stop making a big deal of it ..look at with him and give permission and it will no longer be the big issue. If you get his main attention and it's not illegal porn what is the issue? And the poker, well tell him about the free site pokerstars.com and he can play on line right in your living room!!
2006-08-24 14:19:55 · answer #3 · answered by vtlovie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't beat him then join him...nothing wrong with a bit of poker or even better porn
2006-08-24 14:56:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs to be in an addiction program. porn an poker are both addictions that can't just be stopped cold-turkey. don't neg him, just let him know how you feel. he's not gonna change overnight, but if you love him regardless and be the wife you should be-not a martyr- than he'll tire of that lifestyle...you can get through this, just be patient.
2006-08-24 15:34:11 · answer #5 · answered by breaker_1020 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Decide exactly how much you can handle. How do you know about the lies? If you have proof, I suggest you talk to him. If you get no response, take the proof to an attorney.
Once a liar, always a liar. You're better than that.
2006-08-24 14:17:57 · answer #6 · answered by carmella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dress up sexy and meet him at the door every evening to distract him form the cards and the porn. How you know he lie? You hired a detective tocheck up on him? Better stop that.
2006-08-24 14:18:31 · answer #7 · answered by Totoru 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know he is lying then why are you allowing him to do this to you everyday?
You need to speak up. Sit down and have a one on one conversation with him about how you know he is lying and will take serious action if he doesn't. Threaten him that you will leave if they lying continues.
If he doesn't stop lying, seek professional help with marriage counseling. Your husband could have addictions.
2006-08-24 14:56:17 · answer #8 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
about party poker and porn?
or
about party, poker, and porn?
I don't get it. what bothers you about him partying? about him watching porn, or about him playing poker? join him wherever you can.
2006-08-24 14:18:00 · answer #9 · answered by one_sera_phim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move in with me, I'll get a camera rolling and me and you can play Poke R.
Sorry, I'm up past my bedtime and I know how to treat a woman right.
2006-08-24 14:28:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get butt-naked with a deck of cards and a pair of high heels and have some fun
2006-08-24 14:24:29 · answer #11 · answered by BB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋